Haiku Madness

I agree with him
Except those times when I don’t.
Birthers never do.

Birthers never do
make much sense to me, but hell,
it’s a free country.

It’s a free country
Although freedom isn’t free
Nothing left to lose.

Nothing left to lose
I said as I threw my pants
Into the kitty

Into the kitty
Went the little, brown mousy
Out came the furball

Out came the furball,
And guess who cleaned up the mess?
That’s right, it was I.

That’s right, it was I!
I am the one who cut cheese!
I’m a cheese cutter!

I’m a cheese cutter!
I am not the fig plucker
But I am his son

But I am his son.
I am him and his son too
Said Jesus of God.

Said Jesus of God,
“These pretzels are making me
a little thirsty.”

A little thirsty,
I like iced tea for breakfast
caffeine, no sugar.

Caffeine, no sugar
Coffee should be “al dente”
Strong but not bitter

Strong but not bitter.
That’s how I like to describe
Myself, but I lie

Myself, but I lie
about my weight and my age
Too old and too fat

Too old and too fat
Take this hamburger back please
bring me something fresh

Bring me something fresh
Something raw, sweet and tasty
Raw rabbits, gollum!

Raw rabbits, Gollum
Are high in cholesterol
better stick to fish

better stick to fish
cause I’m buying this glitter
for Jesus symbols

For Jesus symbols,
I’ll get in an argument
Prefer fish with legs

Prefer fish with legs?
You can find a lot of those
Near nuclear plants.