Haiku Madness

Weird video game
made me take up weed again.
Woah! Did you see that?

Woah! Did you see that?
It was a circus clown with
a knife and a smile

a knife and a smile
is all I need to perform
your circumcision

Your circumcision:
something you don’t remember
if you are lucky

If you are Lucky,
They’re out for your cereal!
Yellow moons, pink hearts…

Yellow moons, pink hearts…
Magic’ly delicious? Not!
Wait! I take that back!

“Wait! I take that back!”
said Clegg, quickly backped’ling.
“No deals with UKIP!”

No deals with UKIP
And no deals with MI6!
Deal only with Bond

Deal only with Bond
shaken, not stirred, damn your eyes,
for my martini

For my martini
Give me gin, never vodka.
Traditionalist.

Traditionalist.
He never reads books on-line,
Only dead-tree text.

Only dead-tree text
It never needs batteries
This object called ‘book’

This object called ‘book’
so help me Og, I love it
pulp smell brings me joy

Pulp smell brings me joy
Speaking of pining away
Mm mimeograph

Mmmmm mimeograph,
vanilla and gasoline!
Scents I love too much.

Scents I love too much
Don’t include gas. Did you fart?
Oh wait, it was me

Oh wait, it was me.
But right now I’m something else.
I’ve transmogrified.

“I’ve transmogrified!”
said Calvin to Hobbes, grinning
at his tiger friend.

at his tiger friend
Little Black Sambo gestured,
“Pancakes! With butter!”

Pancakes! With butter!
I just had 'em last night, but
ran out of syrup.