per police report
I was sashaying down Main
in tighty-whiteys
In tighty-whiteys
you would never catch me dead.
Boxer briefs for me!
Boxer briefs for me!
Navy underwear is best,
or so they tell me.
Or so they tell me –
Who are “they” anyway, I ask?
Experts, or just dolts?
Experts, or just dolts?
I wonder when I think of
Federal Reserve.
Federal Reserve
Doesn’t hurt my head quite like
drinking Steel Reserve
Drinking Steel Reserve
not to my liking, really
Heineken, instead
“Heineken, instead”
is what the beer snobs all say
gimme some Coors please.
“Gimme some Coors please”
Is not a wise bar request
For guys in unions.
For guys in unions
Their suits are very snazzy
you know, union suits
You know Union suits?
Better than Confederate
garments by far, pal.
Garments, by far, pal
is what you’ll wanna have on
down at the nude beach
down at the nude beach
you hung your down-filled jacket
from which body part?
From which body part
did Spider-Man shoot his web?
Spiders web from their butts
Bzzzt. Six syllables.
Spiders, from their butts,
cast gossamer threads here, there,
indeed everywhere.
Indeed everywhere you look
There’s some dope writing with too
Many sylalbles
Many syllables
cower in abject terror.
Gladiator comes!
Gladiator comes
And this time it’s personal!
Gladiator 2!
Gladiator 2!
Who’s Marcus Aurelius?
Richard Harris died.
Richard Harris died;
was the better Dumbledore.
Drank a lot when young.