Contact
We communicate
Building planetary ships
But was it for real?
Super Size Me
Mickey D’s is bad
Gorging all month on Big Macs
Makes you feel like shit
American Idol
Countless nobodys
Try to be the best singer
America weeps.
STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN
Marooned on dead world,
Old enemy seeks revenge.
Captain Kirk yells KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!
APOCALYPTO
Mayan Mexico
Another Gibson gorefest.
Auteur or sicko?
MST3K
First Joel, then Michael
Bad movies in outer space
Cool robot sidekicks!
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Recycled old plot;
Actors grown too old, too fat;
Odd-numbered Trek film. 
Star Trek: First Contact
Data and Borg Queen;
Picard with an SMG -
Best Trek film evah!
CATS
Writing songs of CATS
Andrew Lloyd Webber gets rich
Some folks think it’s crap
MAMMA MIA!
Using ABBA songs
Create jukebox musical
Many more follow
Titanic
Jack, Rose on big ship
Filled with arrogant rich folk
Watch out for iceberg!
Memoirs of a Geisha
“I am not a whore!”
Japanese courtesan says
Book, film disagree.
Dune
Paul and mom on run
From nasty Harkonnen foes
Fremen, spice are key.
Finding Nemo
Dad, son fish parted
But overcome challenges
Pixar scores again.
Trainspotting
Breakfast in Scotland
Not quite what I expected
Not egg on my face.
Tombstone
No one else mattered
After lovely Val Kilmer’s
First scene in this film
Independence Day
To say, “Hated it”
Could never convey the depths
Of my dislike. Hmmmph.
Pan’s Labyrinth
The worst monsters
Are the ones who seem human
Truth in fantasy.
Beauty in darkness
Even the fairies eat meat
Power found in death
Grindhouse
Two flicks in one? Fun!
Planet Terror and Death Proof
Need their missing reels.
The Spy Who Loved Me
A boring Bond film.
Moore is no 007.
Stick to Connery.
The Spy Who Shagged Me
Austin Powers rocks.
Graham is decent comic foil
For Meyers’ mugging.
Koyaanisqatsi
Koyaanisqatsi
Non-narrative cinema
Oops, we are all fucked.
Yojimbo
Ronin comes to town
Lots of thugs cause big problems
With sword, problems solved.
Gettysburg
Confederate dudes
Fight Union troops for three days
Good guys win - huzzah!
Apocalypse Now
Joseph Conrad would
Easily recognize plot
Coppola’s best work.
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Indiana man
Sees strange things, can’t convince wife;
Off to Wyoming!
The Day of the Dolphin
Teach dolphins to talk?
Sure, but may interest bad guys
Who hate President.
Requiem for a Dream
Drugs are bad. That’s it.
Hooker; crazy; amputee:
Aronofsky: “True!!!”
Titus Andronicus, by Shakespeare
Next scene, still more death
The Bard knew his public’s tastes
Blood and guts still sells
A Kubrick Trio:
2001: A Space Odyssey
Some kind of monkey
Throws a space-baby a bone
What the fuck was that?
The Shining
All work and no play
Makes Jack a very dull boy
Uh oh, here’s Johnny
Eyes Wide Shut
I need a short guy
To play a sexless dandy
Tom Cruise is perfect
Meet the Feebles
Puppets aren’t so bad. . .
Ah! OMGWTF?
You owe me, husband.
Elektra
Sequel to Daredevil
lacks brains, balls, Evanescence.
How much did we pay?
Excalibur
Uther was a lech
And wanted Ygraine real bad
Their great son: Arthur.
Dave
POTUS was a lech
Had a stroke; aides found a fake
Fake did better job.
Buckaroo Banzai
Lectroids threaten Earth
Perfect Tommy’s just too cool;
Buckaroo triumphs!
Trading Places
Two rich brothers bet
On “nature versus nurture”
Zany stuff ensues.
The Firm
Smart young lawyer learns
Secrets of his bosses’ biz,
Then must get away.
The Godfather
At end, Carlo dies
He betrayed the Family
So it must be so
The Godfather Part II
At end, Fredo dies
He betrayed the Family
Sad necessity
The Godfather Part III
At end, Mary dies
For no particular crime
Coppola’s lost it
The Sting
Newman, Redford are
well-prepared to pull a con;
Love that Joplin tune!
All the President’s Men
Watergate? “Just a
Third-rate burglary,” some said;
Not so, the Post proved.
Grindhouse
Tarantino and
Rodriguez each made short films
stuck together here.
1776
Singing, dancing dudes
write, debate Declaration
of Independence.
Rebecca
Mrs. Danvers, a
creep, wants new mistress gone now,
urges suicide.
stepford zombie town
crazy impalements abound
–hot fuzz is the buzz
Full Metal Jacket
In boot camp we learn
Discipline, Rifle from Gun
In 'Nam, “Born to Kill”
Rent
Beautiful people
poor but gutsy, you betcha
love, die in New York.
Robinson Crusoe
Smart guy washed ashore
builds himself a paradise
and then meets Friday.
**
Terminator**
Yikes! Killer robot
tries to zap Sarah Connor;
“I’ll be back,” he says.
**
Aliens**
Ripley and Marines
take on xenomorphs again
and mayhem ensues.
**
The Sound of Music**
Maria and kids
bring Captain out of his shell;
many tunes are sung.