A couple of months ago I was in bed in my room and my roommate was in the living room on her laptop checking her email. My room opens directly into the living room so if I am sitting in bed with the doors open I have a direct line of sight to the couch, and apparently that night I sat up, looked at my roommate and said, “Did I leave the house naked earlier today?” She told me that as far as she was aware I didn’t leave the house naked but she couldn’t vouch for what I had worn to work that day. Then she asked me if I was asleep and I responded, “I am fully coherent in everything that I am saying, thank you very much!” before laying down and going back to sleep again.
Hubby’s latest—“You have to divide pi by the nuclear extruder reactor, then multiply by some insignificant number.”
Do you know how HARD it is not to laugh and not wake up your spouse just to see what else he’s gonna come up with?
Are you married to SMC? I mean, if you combine those two, you’d get a nuclear butter extruder reactor! Which, I presume, is the power source for the butter extruder. I had no idea extruding butter required so much power.
Sleeping happily along and all of a sudden: “AND THE TRANSMISSION FELL RIGHT OUT OF IT!” announced in a VERY LOUD VOICE by my hubby.
Scared the living jesus out of me. He never did remember what the dream was about.
Ha! See? At least somebody knows what I was talking about.
(Although mine might have been the matter-anti-matter warp thingy butter extruder.)
I have another one!
My husband got up when the alarm clock went off. He was walking around the bed, heading to the bathroom, when he claims I yelled at him:
**For those who are about to die, we salute you! **
Kinda a downer on the start of his day.
Oh, sure. I used to have the strangest conversations with my live-in GF of the time that way. I can’t remember what any of them were about, though.
Also, people have learned that when they wake me up with a phone call–especially if they asked me to do something in particular–they need to call again in the next five minutes (ie, before I fall back asleep) and make sure I understand what I just agreed to. I must’ve agreed to cover someone’s shift once and never showed up, because when my boss woke me up by calling and asking me to come in, she would call back again and generally find that now-conscious me had no idea what our first conversation was about.
I’ve also had a roommate who would sit straight up in the middle of the night, utter a few sentences in Spanish, and then lie back down and fall asleep. Unfortunately, I didn’t speak Spanish back then, so I can’t tell you what he said.
In a related incident, last night I dreamt about a dreamy Japanese girl who I went to high school with. She was a goody-two-shoes of the “reformed middle-school troublemaker” variety, while her long-term boyfriend was a goody-two-shoes of the “wouldn’t recognize a life experience if it bit him in the ass” variety. Needless to say, although we were somewhat close friends for a while, nothing happened between us. But oh, how I fantasized back then.
Well, I hadn’t thought of her in about three and a half years, but last night I had a dream about her. In the dream, she and I were friends–closer than we had actually been in high school, but just as platonic, if not more. Someone had done something really mean to her or something, and I was in her room hugging her and rubbing her back and telling her everything was going to be OK and not to worry. Totally platonic at this point. However, her room was very small and the only place to sit/lie down was her bed. So, as platonic as we were, we were sharing a lot of physical contact in her bed, so one thing led to another and suddenly we were kissing. Very naughty–we knew we were doing something really wrong, both of us, and that we needed to stop immediately, but…we couldn’t! Our passion for each other was simply too great. We gently but passionately explored each other’s lips and mouths. Not only had one thing led to another, but that other thing was leading to yet more things. The next thing I knew, we were throwing our clothes across the room, and after some hesitation from both of us, she opened her sex to me and I began to softly, gently, lovingly…
dry-hump my pillow, as I woke up at 6:00 sharp to find out. To my considerable dismay. Thank Og I was wearing boxers (somewhat rare) and I didn’t make a mess anyway. Still somewhere between funny and embarrassing, even though no one (Thank Og!) was there to see it!
Oh, I heard all kinds of stories about that in boot camp. I knew a guy who–according to the story I heard, later, from a conspirator–really got it bad one day. The rest of his flight (dorm/training buddies) flicked on the lights in the middle of the night and one of them impersonated the flight’s MTI (drill sergeant), screaming something to the effect of “HEY JOHNSON! JOHNSON! HEY, CRAZY, WHY AREN’T YOU UP YET? DO YOU THINK I HAVE ALL DAY? TWENTY PUSHUPS RIGHT NOW! COME ON!” Apparently the poor guy rolled right off his bed and started pumping out pushups in his sleep, before he woke up and realized what was going on.
There were plenty of stories floating around, too, about people who would get out of bed in the middle of the night, suit up, and stand by their lockers for inspection, all asleep.
Oh, I believe it. IME, dying in a dream is much scarier than thinking you’re about to die IRL.
Oh man, I thought of another one. My whole family was on vacation, some hotel room. Apparently, sometime during the night, I woke up my mom, on the bed, doing a full on butterfly stroke. She must have thought I was having a spasm or something, except apparently it was a dead-on stroke, even though I don’t have a prayer of doing one in real life.
Too bad I have absolutely no idea what I was dreaming about :-\
That’s still consent, right?
Nope, not married to SMC. I did tell daHubby about the nuclear butter extruder reactor and he’s STILL laughing!
When I was in college I woke up to find a roommate sitting up in his bed laughing. I asked what was so funny and he said: I took my knife and cut all around the her hair and then lifted it up like a wig.
Then he giggled some more.
Was kinda scary.
If you let it get to room temperature its really easy. But people aren’t patient and want to use it straight out of the fridge.
Yeah, but it’s not as good as a pseudotriton ruber ruber uber tuber, etc.
My wife has done this quite a few times. One time we were laying in bed and I was telling her about needing to drive to Wisconsin the following week. Apparently she was dozing off because she mumbled, “Make sure you put the cow in the back seat. You know she’s a bad driver.”
Another time she turned to me and said, “Stop making all that noise before you scare them away.” When I asked her what she was talking about, she whispered, “The giraffes. They won’t clean the windows if you’re so noisy.”
The most fun, though, is when she has to take some of the more powerful pain killers. The other day I was driving her home from the hospital where they had just given her a shot of dilantin. She told me to turn on the windshield wipers because the raccoons were bouncing off the hood. Then she complimented me on my bow tie and wanted to know what flavor it was (I was wearing a T-shirt).
Wow, I want those meds.
Are you sure?
Changes in the shape of your face? Yikes!
My current boi has a thing about talking in his sleep. It’s always in very, very slurred French; the first few times, in my own half-asleep state, I’d ask him what he said, and he’d mutter the same thing, just as incomprehensibly only louder.
One time someone phoned me and I was so out of it that when they addressed me in French, I answered in Spanish. That was pretty good.
Finally, when I arrived to visit my brother in London, I was so jet lagged and zonked that when he asked what I was planning to see, I sort of mumbled, “well, St. Pauls, and the National Gallery, and, uh, Buck, uh, Buck, uh, Buckminster Palace…”
I’ve talked in my sleep for as long as I can remember. I’ve also been told by others that I not only talk but also say random words in Japanese and Spanish, yell, and sing. :eek:
The first time I remember yelling in my sleep was when I was around 9 and sleeping over at my best friend’s house. I was dreaming that my family was going on a paddleboat ride, and we had to choose our lifejackets out of a mountain-like pile. My brother, who already had an orange one on, held up a beige lifejacket and said “How about this one?”. For some reason this really annoyed me and I yelled “No Tony, you got the tangerine one!” Apparently I yelled loud enough in real life to wake up my best friend and her stepdad in the other room.
The one time I apparently screamed in my sleep was when I was sleeping over in my friend’s room (I had been sexiled from mine). I was pretty stressed since it was the end of the quarter, I was not getting on well with my roommate, and was flabberghasted that the 2006 Olympics’ closing ceremony was Ricky Martin singing “La Copa de La Vida”. I guess all of those were enough to make me scream in my sleep (Especially Ricky Martin).
Well, it depends on who it would make me look like. If I came out looking like Brad Pitt, sure. Peter Lorre, not so much.
aww, I’m late. I just found this, so I’m chiming in.
My ex has seen me sleep talk on a number of occasions, and so has my family, although I don’t have any good family stories.
I always am waking up when I am saying something stupid, but I can’t stop myself.
I was dreaming about someone using disposable cameras at a wedding, which I thought was kind of sad, like it was making disposable memories.
I woke up saying: “I love you, even if you do use disposable cameras”
him “what”
me “nevermind”
I hate, hate, hate lettuce, but I’ll make a salad for you if you want one… I was dreaming that we were at his folks house, and I was in charge of making and dishing out the salads, when he stepped in and started making them for me. I woke up saying “Thank you for making the salads”.
Another time I was spooning against his back as we slept, and as I woke up I found myself -horrifyingly- biting his shoulderblade, hard. He woke up and I just started apologizing!
For the life of me I can’t bring myself to ask if this actually happened (and I can’t figure out why I’m sharing it):
I was at my parents friends house, with the rest of mine and their family, and I remember dreaming that I went into one of the boys bedrooms and urinated into one of the air conditioning grates. I remember it getting blamed on the dog, and I didn’t own up to it. Like I said, I just can’t bring myself to find out if it was a genuine dream, or like the above dreams, where I woke up in the middle of it, and promptly fell back asleep. I was not at an age where this would have been acceptable, even though I couldn’t have helped it.
No one’s posted for a month? C’mon–more random sleep insanity!