Pierre ze Famous French Pilot was having a romantic meal with his beloved. He dipped his finger in white wine and ran it over her lips, then kissed her passionately.
“Oh Pierre, why did you do that?”
“I am Pierre ze Famous French Pilot, and I when I ave ze red meat I always ave ze white wine.”
After a more little time and a little less clothing, Pierre ze Famous French Pilot took a bottle of red wine, and gently drizzled it on her exposed bosom before kissing up every last drop.
“Ohhhhhhh Pierre, why did you do that?”
“I am Pierre, ze Famous French Pilot, and when I ave ze white meat, I always ave ze red white.”
After even more time, and even less clothing, Pierre’s beloved begged him to pleasure her with his skillful tongue. Pierre grabbed a bottle of warm brandy and emptied it in her lap, and then lit it on fire with his cigarette.
“PIERRE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!”
“I am Pierre ze Famous French Pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames.”
Not to hijack, but therein lies the difference I think. You frequently hear Jews, Irish, etc. tell jokes that make fun of their own kind, but blacks don’t go around telling each other jokes like “why is aspirin white?”- probably because black jokes are usually hate based, whereas the Jew and Irish type jokes usually aren’t.
And FTR my grandparents are from Greece, and there’s nothing I like better than the never leave your buddy’s behind, beware of a greek with sneakers and “with a crobar” type jokes.
Terrorists storm the Vatican and threaten to blow up St. Peter’s unless the Pope has sex on live television. The Pope agrees but asks for three conditions. “First, she must be a nun so she understands that this is being done to protect Mother Church. Second, she must be blind so she will never have to look upon my face and think of me in that way. And third, she’s got to have big tits.”
A priest and a rabbi are talking about the rules concerning their faith. The priest asks, “Rabbi, have you ever tried a ham sandwich?” The rabbi says, “Yes, when I was younger I will admit that I tried one once while at a gentile friend’s house. So tell me, Father. Have you ever made love to a woman?” The priest replies, “Once, before I joined the seminary, I did make love to a girl.” The rabbi grins and say, “Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”
A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after he was finished. A little later, the priest had to make the trip also. He got out of the boat, walked across the water, visited the bathroom and in the same manner, came back to the boat. Still later, the rabbi needed to go ashore. He got out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said, “Do you think we ought to tell him where the rocks are?”
An old irishman is on his deathbed. He’s surrounded by his family - his wife; as well as two strapping, fetching, hardy, rugby-playing hulks; and finally one snivelling, stick-figured little booger.
The man looks pleadingly at his wife and croaks “I’ll be dead & gone ‘afore naught, so please just be honest wi’ me.”
“Yes, what is it?” asks his wife, as she stifles a nervous tremble.
The old man points an unsteady finger at his third, runt-of-the-litter son. “Is he really my son??”
“Yes!” the wife asserts “I swear to you, he is your true flesh and blood.”
Satisfied, the old man passes away. Moments after his eyes have been closed, the now widowed woman mutters to herself “Thank the Lord he didn’t ask about the other two…”
A cowboy leaves the saloon to go buy some tobacco at the general store. On the way back to the bar, he notices that his horse’s balls have been painted blue. Furious, he kicks open the saloon doors, roaring “Which one of you low-life, chicken-shit sheep fuckers painted my horse’s balls blue?!” Black Bart, 6’10, 250 pounds, turns from the bar and says “I did, what about it?” “Well”, replied the cowboy, “the first coat’s dry, sir.”
A very large, very mean, Hells Angel type walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a shot. The bartender pours him a shot, the biker downs it, slams the glass on the bar, looks to his left and says “All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of cocksuckers! And if anyone has anything to say about it, you come talk to me!”
Absolute silence. Nobody moves.
About a minute later, the biker orders another shot. He downs it, slams the glass on the bar, looks to his right and says “All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of motherfuckers! And if anyone has anything to say about it, you come talk to me!”
A guy gets up from the end of the bar and starts walking towards the biker. The biker turns to him and says “You got something to say to me?”
“Nope”, the man replies. “I’m just on the wrong end of the bar.”
Bad Bart rides into town, firing his pistols in every direction as the citizenry runs for cover and the marshal hides under his desk. Bart rides straight to Miss Lulabelle’s Bordello, kicks down the door and slams a handful of gold coins onto the counter as other waiting gentlemen scatter. He bellows, “I want the biggest, toughest, ugliest whore you got, and I want her for the night! And I want a beer!”
Miss Lulabelle throws a bottle of beer at him and says, “Room 6, and take your boots off.”
“Like hell I will,” Bad Bart sneers, catching the bottle. He strides down the hall and kicks down the door to Room 6. The biggest, toughest, ugliest whore he’s ever seen is sitting on the bed. As soon as she sees him, she gets on her hands and knees with her ass pointing straight at him.
“Now just a cotton-pickin’ minute,” Bad Bart roars. “How the hell you know I wanna fuck that way?”
“I don’t,” she shouts at him over her shoulder. “I just thought you might want to open your beer!”
All things considered I guess it’s time for this one.
A guy starts to tell a joke at a party: “Two old jews were on their way…”
An angry guest jumps up and says, “Why do so many jokes start with we Jews?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the joke teller, “I’ll start again. Two old Chinese men were on their way to the Synagogue to see the Rabbi…”
A guy goes to a whore and says ‘how much to fuck you with my foot?’ ‘$1000 you sick bastard’ says the whore. So they get down to it and the guy’s in ecstasy - thanks the whore for the best fuck of his life.
1 week later the guy wakes up with a great, weeping sore on his big toe. ‘That looks terrible’ he thinks, I need to get myself to the doctor. Takes himself off to the clinic, and presents his foot to the doctor. The doc is confounded, after an hour going through the medical books he says, ‘what we appear to have here is a case of clap of the foot’.
'Clap of the foot! says the guy, ‘I bet that’s the craziest thing you ever saw in all your years as a doctor!’
‘Not quite’ answers the doc, ‘there was a girl in here earlier with athletes cunt’.
