I once said “why don’t we just flip a coin to see who goes first?”
Somewhere on Livejournal, there’s a story of a girl, in the throes of passion, screaming something along the lines of “WARP SPEED, CAPTAIN KIRK!”, causing her boyfriend to go into convulsive fits of laughter just short of the key moment.
Afraid I’ve got nothing nearly so interesting myself, just thought I’d share.
The competition is pretty tough thread wise, but you definitely win best first post! (I’d say you win thread wise too! That made my day!)
Word. Stellar first post.
And how often does one get to tell a virginity-losing story as their virginity-losing post?
Evidently a lot of people think rice is nice!
while giving head I had to stop for a min & explain that i had a bit of the burps
he responded with “make sure to take it out before, i dont want my balls to explode”
and then, after finishing with a second orgasm for him via intercourse we cleaned up a bit and he asked me if I was going to finish (he was still hard) and I told him he didnt warn me that it was a 3 course meal. He asked me if that was my final answer & I said yes… he said he would like to phone a friend (ugh, bad bad reference!!!)
We both were being goofy that night =)
Okay, technically this is a hijack because it doesn’t involve anything said; but it’s my funny sex story, and I want to tell it.
A few years ago I had a friend who was an accomplished scavenger, and was always turning up with useful things of one kind or another. One day he tossed me one of those familiar single-serving-type tubes and said, “Here, have some lube.”
I put it aside, for it would surely come in handy.
One night a short time later, I was with my boyfriend at that time in bed, and a moment arose where it seemed that some lube would be just the thing. (IYKWIM) So I reached in the dark for the little tube, which was just where I had stashed it.
I thought it felt a little unusual going on, but I didn’t think anything of it until we both realized that something was terribly wrong. I jumped up and turned on the light.
It is really hard to get machine lube off!
Sir, I don’t mean to hijack, but just coming over from reading the Get a colonoscopy if you are 50 thread, where you offered the learned opinion that “Studies thus far have not shown that colonoscopy is any better at reducing mortality from colon cancer than stool hemoccult cards,” I find your presence here wonderfully refreshing, and your ability to contribute sound medical advice to a “Heard during sex” thread amazing. Well played!
Thanks. But sex and medicine do seem to be very intertwined, so 'tis no great stretch. 
It is good for what ails ya.
Good point - how clever of you to notice! And thanks everyone for their kind words.
I would post more, but I’m scared to teeter off the good record I have so far . . . 