Inspired by Badtz Maru’s thread taking bets on when he’ll be getting some…
My boyfriend has complained that he’s always the one to initiate sex, and sadly, it’s true. I feel like a dork trying to initiate sex - silly and stupid. Plus, he might turn me down…okay, that’s probably not true, but the remote possibility exists. But, I want more sex. Sex sex sex. So - give me some booty-getting ideas. I mean, I guess I could just stick my hands down his pants, but seeing as how I don’t care for that approach most of the time, I don’t really like going about it that way.
We’ve lived together for seven months now, and have been together for more than two years. Prior to moving in, we’d simply expect to have sex whenever we’d see each other. Now, we’re always around each other, so I can always tell myself, ahh, I’ll do it tomorrow. So now we’re sexin’ around 1.5 times a week - in my opinion, WAY less than we should be. I’m determined to correct that. Ideas?
If you’re into the head thing, go down on him when he’s watching TV (unless he’s averse to that sort of thing, he shouldn’t have TIME to say no!) You may also take advantage of him at this time, flip off the TV and hide the remote. Good for coercion at a later date.
Serve dessert naked, if you eat dinner semi-formally (as opposed to eating on the couch) Ahem. yes, dessert. You should be able to think of several interesting suggestions for him.
I am at work, so I’m gonna stop thinking of ways to seduce my SO.
I believe this might be the X factor. When I moved in with my girlfriend (briefly last year) we experienced the same thing you’re talking about. I got my ass outta there and moved in to my own place, and that fixed that.
As a guy, I’d advise you to keep yourself covered up reasonably well when just around the house with him, and then when you want it, bust out the sexy underwear and garters! This will in turn snap his neck around in carwreck fashion… and he’ll read your “not so subtle” hints.
It’s all about exposure. The more he sees of you on a regular basis, the less he equates you with sex. Most ladies think this is a good thing, and usually it is, until you are the one wantin’ luvin’.
Take my words for what they’re worth, which admittedly isn’t much!
Beginner
Just wear short skirts and bend over in front of him alot.
Or grab his crotch and say Fuck Me!
Advanced
Write a sexy (explicit) fantasy story that stars the two of you and leave it on the computer.
Pro
While naked blindfold and tie yourself to a chair. (it can be done) Then call him into the room.
Slightly more romantic dinners than normal. Build up to it. The idea of “serve dessert naked” and things like that? If you need to be that blunt about it, just say, “Let’s go have sex. Buffy isn’t on for half an hour.”
You say you feel dorky initiating. Well, don’t initiate the act. Initiate the atmosphere. Dim the lights. Put on music. Light some candles. Have a nice romantic dinner, or rent a movie.
Okay, get a certain color candle. Put it in a holder in an obvious spot. Let him know that whenever the candle is lit, it means you’re in the mood for some hot lovin’. No embarassment for you, no guesswork for him, nothing out of place for a 7-year-old to see or hear.
Well, I was going to suggest having a small baby in the house (“Really”, I would have cried, “work’s every time!”) but I don’t think you’re going to go for it.
Okay. I’m gonna give away a guy secret. Truth is, it can be scary as hell for a woman to come on really strong. Sure, we talk big. But it is as scary for us as it is for you.
To get around that, I suggest just being crystal clear when you’re in the mood. Not overt, just clear. Give him “that look.” You know the one. As you walk past, give him a little kiss on the back of the neck. Make it clear that if he initiates right now, you won’t take much convincing. No embarassment on either part, I think.
Pretend you’re him and he’s you. You know what does it for you when he does it, right? (And how blatant or subtle, how fast or slow, etc) You know how it feels to be on the receiving end, right? So pretend you’re him, and cultivate a vivid imagination for how you’re making him feel as you do do it.
HINT: some females when they first try to get away from ‘no initiave’, go from ‘no initiative’ to ‘no subtlety’ and then wonder why we guys get scared!
Don’t feel bad, the frequency of sex goes down over time in almost all relationships.
Here’s a couple suggestions from your pal Vinman to help keep your lubed up lockbox filled with manly manmeat:
Take advantage of the morning wood. Most guys have rock going on in the morning, and are actually just waking up to some perverted dream they just had, and while still trying to wake up, are as horny as hell. We are at our most relaxed as well. Go to town without telling him. Trust me, if you want to initiate sex, there’s no better way.
Tie yourself to the bed before he gets home. No guy in his right mind is going to make his girlfreind feel like a total ass by turning her down.
Of course, introducing a second chick wouldn’t be a bad way to take charge either!
