I think you’re suppossed to do something with pebbles and snatch but I can’t quite remember.
For Neo, start with a Black trench coat. Then acquire yourself some physics-defying physical abilities…I think you can get them on ebay.
oooo yeah, a cape…a bright neon one 
What about sandals? Wear sandals everywhere you go, regardless of weather or temperature. That’s en vogue for the software developer 
Sorry, sweetie, black frames are very chic.
If Trekkies and Star Wars fanatics are cool, then Matrixing yourself up would be a good way to be cool. If you can’t afford the leather trench coat, you could get some Vulcan ears to wear around. 
You have a screen name at the SDMB.
Isn’t that enough for you? Isn’t it enough?
I notice a distinct lack of Dr. Who recognitition. Personally, I’d suggest a plaid shirt, a long grey overcoat and a large scarff.
I notice a distinct lack of Dr. Who recognitition. Personally, I’d suggest a plaid shirt, a long grey overcoat and a large scarff.
[Hobbes] Actually, I just like saying smock… SMOCKSMOCKSMOCKSMOCKSMOCK[/Hobbes]
There. You get all sorts of Asskickiness Points[sup]tm[/sup] by that. You’re almost half a tiger already. You need to wear more orange.
Some advice from Terry Pratchett in Lords and Ladies:
So, we’ve got Topaz wearing a neon cape (or possibly a trenchcoat), glasses, sandals, baggy pants, a codpiece, a goatee and black shoes - whilst shooting pool and dueling with Swiss Monks.
Sounds like the essence of coolness to me!
Kn(too painfully uncool to be of any help at all)ckers
P.S.: I love your username, Topaz. It’s sparkly.
And get some Mickey Mouse* pants.
*Mickey Mouse is a registered trademark of the Disney corporation and any use of the trademark without the expressed written permission, signed in triplicate by the brain-eating zombie corpse of Walt Disney, will result in your being fed to wild dogs.
Thanks! It’s my real name, too.
It’s also my second favorite B-52’s song.
Get a motorcycle, but, don’t act like you have a motorcycle.
Also, I noticed a lot of commercials with dorky kids telling people not to smoke…so definitely smoke.
Don’t worry about kicking ass, just get a gun*. All the cool kids have guns nowadays. Then, you can use terms like “I’ll pop a cap in yo ass,” or, “talk to the Glock.”
*Disclaimer - Don’t really get a gun
I’ll second this, and add that women who can do pretty much any guy activity are cool. This includes the aforementioned gambling and motorcycle ownership (although being able to ride the thing will be an even bigger plus), but also working on vehicles, playing sports, being willing to get dirty, and chewing tobacco.
Okay, maybe not chewing tobacco, but you get my drift, I reckon. spit pting!
But make sure you hold it sideways.
Same thing if you just get a cat instead of a gun.
Spelling your name in the snow would definately be cool - and a pretty good aerobic workout for a woman too, what with all the running required.