This isn’t going to be too in depth or anything; I just want to get some general input here.
You see, there’s this girl in a couple of my uni classes, and I really think that she might be keen on me asking her out. A few days ago, we had to deliver speeches in one of our classes, and I totally hit mine out of the fuckin’ park; our class break rolls along, and she comes up to me and tells me how awesome my delivery was and so on. The next day, she sits herself in a seat directly in front of mine (though this could just be because she doesn’t like the guy who she had been sitting next to earlier), and as the class chugs along we get to chit chatting. She asks me about my tattoos, my job, etc., and the entire time we’re talking she’s maintaining eye contact and sporting a really big smile. The most telling sign of interest, I think, is that SHE is the one initiating a bunch of these conversations; not me. As our last class ended the other day, she walked by me specifically to say “bye.”
The only caveat with this girl is that she’s religious; however, I don’t know to what extent she is religious, but I’ve heard her discussing events that she has done with her church, so that gives me a slight pause for concern. Now, it isn’t the fact that she’s religious that gets to me, because I honestly couldn’t care less about that; no, her religiosity makes me think that she isn’t showing interest in me so much as she’s just being really nice.
I don’t know, I’m probably going to ask her out regardless. I’ve always done a shitty job at recognizing these sorts of things, though, so I’d just like to see where you guys think I stand.
Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck… oh, no, not the girl, I mean… well… She is interested, I was trying to say.
And no harm in asking, is there?
As to the religiosity/nicety possibility: if Christianity really made people all that nice, surely the world would be a better place by now…? But seriously, I think you’re just meant to be regular amounts of nice, not smile and flirt with everyone.
She might be trying to save your soul, or get you to join her bible study group.
In my experience, religious people can be over- the- top friendly, then pop out with
the “have you accepted Christ into your…bla bla bla.”
But, then again, she may have a genuine interest in you, and since you are attracted to her,
it’s probably worth looking into.
She could be nice but not interested. She could be interested. We don’t know. I think you didn’t start this thread for feedback, you started it to get encouragement because you want to do it but you’re still hesitating. Uncertainty in these matters causes most people a fair amount of anxiety.
Well-adjusted people (of which I’ve read a fair amount about) usually deal with this by using flirting. Flirting is a set of behaviors used by humans to communicate each other’s sexual and/or romantic interest in a gradual way.
It starts with very ambiguous behavior at first to maintain plausible deniability for both parties. As acts of flirting are reciprocated, they become less ambiguous. They also increase in intensity as each party becomes more comfortable being intimate with the other person.
So, what will you do to flirt with her? That will give you more information than we ever could if you want to make sure she’s interested before asking her out.
She sounds like a Scientologist;)
No you should definitely ask her out - for coffee like all you younger folks tend to do. To see if there is really anything there and if not, no big whoop.
The problem I have is I have known women who are open and flirting like that with me, but they are all happily married.
I had one woman with two kids and a husband like that in my last office job. Always coming by my desk in revealing clothes leaning over, touching me etc. But she is married and her husband worked at the same office! Why do married women do this?
Sorry - got off topic.
I agree with everyone who says ask her out, and you’ll find out! And I know a lot of people who are religious without being conservative or evangelical, so don’t worry too much about that right now. You’re a long way from trying to figure out whether you should raise your kids in the church or not.
It can be a fine line between flirting and being friendly and the action and the interpretation of the action. It could well be that it genuinely is just friendly behaviour, made especially safe by the fact that her husband works at the office: it means you already know she is not available, so she doesn’t have to hold back on being friendly for fear of it being interpreted the wrong way. That seems to have backfired.
I’d recommend asking her out based on the eye-contact, and her going out of her way to talk to you. But also don’t be disappointed if you’re not religious and that’s an important criterion for her. It might not go anywhere based on that alone, unless you’re willing to convert. Nothing says you can’t still have some fun with her in the meantime, though.
I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but the woman went further than that in the personal history pool.
Without prompting from me she revealed;
what medications her husband was on
that she was currently on the pill
that her Mother had an affair with a coworker while happily married to her father
that she (the woman not her mother) was propositioned for sex (she refused) by her father’s old friend and business partner - when she worked for him during one Summer. He had found out that she was a virgin - i cannot imagine how - and after she turned him down he met her again a couple of years later and asked if “she had had that problem fixed.”
I didn’t imagine she was actually really coming on to me, but she did keep mentioning that she was on the pill and that her mother had an affair at work …
I am probably reading too much into this.
Back to the OP, please let us know your decision and how it worked out.
