My girlfriend of nearly 9 months broke up with me today. In fact, I think she’s been planning to do it for nearly two weeks, since she came home from being a counsellor in training at her sleepover camp. Before camp we were totally in love- she even cried the last night we were together. She was away for 2 months and in between she had a day at home, and it still seemed like we had a great relationship. Once she got home she was acting strangely, like she wouldn’t let me kiss her or be affectionate. I went on vacation for a week so barely saw her until tonight, when she broke the news. The truth is she is not very confrontational and it was probably hard to break it to me. I sense that she’s had her mind set since before she came home.
It’s obvious to me that she really misses camp, but she says that the break-up wasn’t about camp. She said she didn’t meet someone there. Just that “she needs some time alone” (I have the transcript online if that might help anyone).
The story of the camp- she lived with maybe 25 other girls, and the CITS pretty much didn’t have strict curfews and did what they pleased- when I saw her at the midway point and when she was home for good she was EXHAUSTED. She said they stayed up late at night talking and chilling and such. The day she got home for good, she slept from 2:00 PM to 10:00 the next morning! It is an all-girls camp, but there is a brother camp that they get together with for dances and some other events.
Something that bothers me most is that there is an unusually large amounts of lesbians at camp- I am assuming because the girls spend so much time together and “experiment”. In other words, the lesbians don’t flock to the camp, the camp turns them into lesbians. (It is actually a Jewish camp, so no reason to have so many lesbians). I am very worried that this is why she broke up with me- she’s questioning her sexuality. I am more mad that she’d be hiding the truth from me than that she actually broke it off.
There are a few good reasons to suspect that this is what happened. She has a good camp friend who is a lesbian. I believe she came back as a CIT this year. She also said she became really close with a few CITs, as in they could be her best and closest friends. They have so much free time late at night, I can certainly see her experimenting. Also, when she got home she said she decided not to apply to her first choice college, and just wanted to go to a “small, birkenstock-wearing hippie school”. She honestly said that. She is kind of alternative already- she’s a vegetarian and is an artist, and is in to the whole idea of alternativity but really doesn’t embrace it too closely.
Either camp has influenced her to make the decision, or a sexual incident did- that’s all I can really imagine happened. It seems like she is depressed that camp is over and school is starting, so maybe that could be the reason.
I talked to a friend who was a CIT at the brother camp to see if any of his female friends knew of an “incident” or any at all. He said that she didn’t fall for a guy, that’s for certain. Also a supportive ex-camper said she’d ask her old camp friends.
It’s really much more painful to suspect that she’s hiding things from me than the actual break up. I want to confront her with how I feel but I don’t know if she would reveal why she broke up with me.
I talked to her best friend after she did the deed (this is a home friend, not camp friend). She said that she hasn’t seen her lately but it seems like she really misses camp. She said that maybe she just feels the need for change or some such…it felt contrived. She said that my gf didn’t tell her about any incidents, and she probably would’ve. I’d like to believe her, but if she was told anything she’d keep it from me.
If anyone could give me some advice, something to say to her to get a response…anything. This is a hard time and I’m taking it well, it is just my suspicions which are most painful. In fact it is 4:30 and I haven’t been able to sleep at all. It is quite strange- at first I was very upset that it happened, not I am mostly upset that there seems to be something she’s hiding from me. I can’t stop thinking about what could have happened at camp that made her do this.
Thanks guys…support and suggestions are welcome and needed.