“I’m too tired to hit on you now. Can I have your number so I can hit on you tomorrow?”
“Let’s split this place sweetums. I got a nice bottle of aged Arbor Mist chilling in my fridge!”
>Napier only cares that you think you are going to.
Trouble is, Napier thinks that you think you are going to, and doesn’t care.
“As long as I have a moustache, you’ll always have a place to sit.”
The first time I ever heard that one, I had to turn around, go back and congratulate the guy. I told him that was the best line I’d ever heard. (Well, I was very young.) Then I went on about my business.
“If you’re itchin’, I’m scratchin’.”
That line was uttered by a woman as she passed by me on a deserted street at night. It was so cute, I was tempted.
But the winner is this exchange I had long ago with an English punk rocker I had accompanied on a weird party-crashing mission he had already in progress when I ran into him. He said something messed-up to me, and I said:
“Fuck you!”
He looked at me sidelong, and said:
“You will.”
Gives me chills just thinking about it.
You should always try to find some common ground to build a relationship on on. Try this:
Mts: Do you like chocolate cake?
Her:Yes
Mts: So do I, let’s fuck
“Give me 10 minutes, your naked body, and a cup of ice, and I’ll make you forget your name.”
“That sweater is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I’d be coming too.”
A cheesy move that actually got a chuckle from the girl I tried it on:
Me: “Hey, can I ask you something?” (puts hand on her thigh)
Her: “What?”
Me: “Does my big, strong, masculine hand feel good on your thigh?”
Her: (chuckles)
How I managed to NOT get my face slapped is beyond me.
Thank you for solving a now 25 year mystery for me. I figured it was something that I didn’t want done to myself, but had no clue what that might be.
“I may not be much to look at, but right now I’m the only guy talking to you.”
“Excuse me, I was just about to go home and masturbate, and I wondered if you’d mind if I fantasised about you?”
“Would you like to come back with me to my windowless unmarked van?”
Approach the lady and say, “Uncle Ned, it’s about time you got here!!!”
That would be even better if you ended it with “and I wondered if you’d like to help.”
My contribution is thus…
You: You’ll want me.
Her: Why’s that?
You: Because I’m so good I scream out my own name.
Yes, how very true. Always a good one to look out for over here. Gender surprises are no fun. For me anyway 
“Let’s skip the preliminaries…you want to get married?”
(Bonus points if you know where this is from)