Historic SDMB posts throughout... history

[Eutychus]

Originally posted in Cafe Society, November 1923

@JJoyce

Okay, so all my friends said I should try that NaNoWriMo thing, but God … only a month? Screw it … I’ll just start typing gibberish. They’ll never know the difference…

[Don_Draper]

I just thought of unearthed some more:

From the Cafe Society, Aug. 14th, 1969 - Who’s going to that rock festival upstate?:

In, I think Woodstock, NY? I saw a poster and they’ve got a ton of excellent bands playing. I’ll definitely be there. The only problem is, I have stuff to do on Friday so I probably won’t be able to drive out there until late Friday. In fact, most of these big weekend rock festivals don’t take off until Saturday afternoon, so maybe I’ll wait until Saturday morning to drive out. I figure it’s no hurry, it’s out in the middle of nowhere so not that many people will actually show up. On the plus side though, I just scored a whole sheet of brown acid! The guy who sold it to me looked a little shifty, but what the hey? You only live once.

From the Cafe Society, May 26th, 1977 - the OP of I just saw the stupidest film ever made:

Last night I went to the movies with the missus and checked out this thing called “Star Wars.” I thought it was going to be some spinoff of “Battle of the Network Stars”, but it turned out to be this big, long turkey of a science-fiction film. Boy, oh boy was it ever stupid! They had this bar full of the fakest-looking aliens ever, they looked like rejects from the Muppet Show. And then there are these two flamer robots and the human cast…well all I can say is that the ‘stars’ better not quit their cater-waitering day jobs. Except for Alec Guinness…what was he doing there? Well, this flick will most likely bomb big time and be totally forgotten, so that he won’t have to live with the shame of it. This flick sure was no “Barbarella.”

From MPSIMS, Jan. 26th, 1986 - I forgot to do my math homework:

I forgot to do my math homework tonight. Oh man, my teacher Ms. McAuliffe is going to KILL ME! Damn I hate that Ms. McAuliffe, she’s always on my back. “You’re not applying yourself.” “You’re not trying hard enough.” Blah, blah, blah. Why can’t she just accept I’m not good at math and leave me alone? I just wish someone would shoot her into space and leave her there.

[Laughing_Lagomorph]

@Shirley Ujest

Posted in MPSIMS January 1962 by ItsAllSmoot2Me

Last night I got laid 365 times!

I get the reference but according to what I’ve been able to find online you got the year wrong…should be 1958 (he was class of 1962 but naturally he was a freshman when this stunt was done).

[Gangster_Octopus]

Originally posted in MPSIMS Dec. 9, 1974 by Gates

Oh Boy, Did I Just Screw the Pooch?

So my buddy Paul stops by thte other day woith a magazine and in it was a story about the Altair 8080, which, get this, is a mcirocomputer. Meaning it is a basically a computer you can fit on a desktop. So we get this crazy idea that these things are going to be like in every house and on every desk in every office in America. Nevermind that it costs about ten grand, right? You now what that means, that there will need to be software for it.

So Paul and myself call up the makers of this microcomputer and tell them that we have developed a programming language BASIC for the Altair. In fact we have done no such thing. We don’t even have one of the machines for crissakes. Well it was kind of a lark, but the company is interested and wants to see it. So now Paul and myself have eight weeks to develop this out of nothing and we won’t even probably get a chance to test it on the 8080 ahead of time.

[Shirley_Ujest]

REgarding Smoot: You are correct. I don’t know where I got the other date.
From the files of MPSIMS early 1980’s posted by GullWing

I’m starting my own auto company based in Ireland.

[saoirse]

@Shirley Ujest

From the files of MPSIMS early 1980’s posted by GullWing

I’m starting my own auto company based in Ireland.

Reply from White Pony:

I have a great idea on how to finance it. Can’t discuss it here. E-mail me.

[RealityChuck]

Posted in Cafe Society on April 30, 1941 by BigOrson

Well, the film’s ready. I felt like a kid with the world’s biggest train set. Keep your fingers crossed for the reviews. I hear the Hearst papers are going to really talk it up. Guess they don’t know who it’s really about LOL.

Posted in Cafe Society on January 4, 1920 by RedSoxNation

I can’t believe we managed to unload the fat jerk Ruth on the Yankees. He can’t pitch any more, and all those HRs were just a statistical fluke. It’s mathematically impossible for him to keep that up again. Now the Sox can buy a few good minor leaguers and be in the fight next year.

The Yankees were dumb. With moves like that, they won’t win a World Series this century!

Posted in Cafe Society on March 30, 1943 by Todd

Saw the new R&H show. No legs, no jokes, no chance. Rogers should go back to Hart.

[Happy_Lendervedder]

Originally posted on 3 Tammuz, 1271 B.C.E by Ol’ Gibeonite:

Holy crap will this day ever end? I got the sheep after me to get them to a fresh pasture, the hired help bitching about fleas in their bunks, I broke my third crook this week walking up a hill, and those blasted Israelites are making so much damned noise down in the valley, I can’t hear myself think.

Is it just me or does it seem like THE SUN HASN’T MOVED IN HOURS.

I hate Mondays.

Reply:

Originally posted on 4.13.8.16.1 by The Defyin’ Mayan:

Duuuuuuude! I thought it was just me, but I have the opposite thing going on here. It seems like the sun hasn’t shown itself in, like, a reeeeeealy long time.

If this is true, could the night last forever here? Has the sun decided to desert us? I think you just blew my mind.

[tofergregg]

…

@T2Tone

Originally posted January 6, 1982:
I’m SO depressed. My GF just dumped me. Do me a favor and crank call her at 867-5309.

[Happy_Lendervedder]

Originally Posted by T2Tone
Originally posted January 6, 1982:
I’m SO depressed. My GF just dumped me. Do me a favor and crank call her at 867-5309.

Reply:

Ya know, T2Tone, that number had quite the melodic flow…Eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-ee-i-een. Heh.

[dogbutler]

Posted in Cafe Society April 29th 1945:

@D-Fuhrer

Anyone have a recipe for borscht for 500,000?

[SmartAleq]

Originally posted in General Questions March 28, 1979 by NukeDude:

“So, duct tape can fix ANYTHING, right?”
Originally posted in MPSIMS January 27, 1986 by ScobeeDoo:

“Man, I’m so gonna make the Zero Gee club with the hot teacher–I’ll be rogering up her throttle like a motherfuck!”

[Happy_Lendervedder]

Originally posted on April 14, 1912

Well, my fellow Dopers, this is could very well be my last post. I am on a giant ocean liner called the Titanic, in the Atlantic ocean, and it appears we are sinking. People are running around screaming, fighting for space on a lifeboat. I figure women and children should get them first, so I’m just going to sit here and see what’s left after the initial panic dies down.

I shall describe to you all what I am witinessing, for the sake of history. Please, my friends, remember me always: people are running everywhere, crying, screaming. Mothers are clutching their children, husbands their wives. There is a dancing bear. A mime appears to be trapped in a glass box. And-- wait, now it seems the captain has set himself on fire.

My sweet Doper friends, I ask that you tell my wife, Morgan Fairchild, that I will love her always, and my final thoughts were of her embrace. And now for my final signoff. Howard Stern rules! Bababooey!! Bababooey!!!

…

[Dante]

Posted to MPSIMS:

@Herr In Sich Heinen Lachen Hosen on June 26

Did the Amerikaner just call himself a jelly donut? ROFL!!1!!

[Rilchiam]

October 30, 1938 in MPSIMS:

Strange Goings-On In New Jersey

I’ve just heard about this from a friend — apparently some kind of airship landed in Grover’s Mill, NJ a few minutes ago. Does anyone have any details?

OH MY GOD!!
I have the radio on. People were gathered around, looking at the ship, and some kind of creature stepped out and shot the sheriff dead!

The announcer said they’re from Mars, but I think it’s the Germans. I knew we were going to get into a war soon…

I may be overreacting here, but I am very, very scared.

Good Lord! The sounds are terrible…scary…Flames going up all over the countryside. Send prayers…

How many Dopers live in New Jersey? Have any checked in?

I’m in Newark. I think it’s time to get out of town. They’ll probably head for New York next…

This is gonna get worse before it gets better. Hey, why don’t we have a government agency to deal with this kind of thing? They could call it Secure the Homeland or something like that…

I’ve got my shotgun. Ain’t no Martians gonna take over here. Anything big that doesn’t speak English is gonna get fulla holes!

Hey, guys, I just switched back to Edgar Bergen. I don’t think they’d still be on if this was anything serious. Wasn’t Mercury Theater going to do something special for Halloween?

[Sevastopol]

Originally Posted in the BBQ Pit 1 Nov 855AD

@Grndl

Neatly armed was I, long-ranged and well knit. As a being should. Until this day, one Northerner did without leave or thanks rip me off of the right:

Gods I am torn up by this, typing one-fisted and bitterly needing a-mending the second.

@WolfBee

Suck it.

[Shirley_Ujest]

November 1, 1938 by LaughwhileyoucanMonkeyBoy

What would be a good name for my new business that is really a secret evil fortress?

Cafe Society : by WillyS

Help me with my poem…

To be or…what?
Later on in Cafe Society:

Help me name my characters in my new play!

Romeo & Ethel?

[Framstag]

Originally posted Mar. 15, 44 B.C.

Boy, these headaches are killing me. I wonder if Brutus will help me getting rid of them.

[SSG_Schwartz]

@JHinkster

Originally posted in MPSIM March 29, 1981

I have been trying to get this girl to notice me and it hasn’t happened yet. I will do anything to get her to acknowledge my existance. Any suggestions on what I can do to make her notice me?

Later post was edited by moderator

[saoirse]

…

@Bill O' The Lakes

Congratulate and Help Me!

Our publisher says we’re going to have a new edition of Lyrical Ballads! w00t!

This time, he wants to include a Preface. Does anyone have any suggestions?