Historic SDMB posts throughout... history

Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus · January 7, 2006, 6:54pm

Shouldn’t these have been made much earlier, like around 2180 BCE?

zamboniracer · January 7, 2006, 6:54pm

Originally posted by PlubiusJimmy in early 1788:
" What do my fellow Dopers think of this:

‘A well regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.’

That’s pretty clear and straightforward, isn’t it?"

Gilligan · January 7, 2006, 7:27pm

**Originally posted by me at 11:57 PM 12/31/1999: **

Annie-Xmas · January 7, 2006, 8:17pm

Posted by NYC-GUY on September 10, 2001:

This is a reminder to go out and vote in the NYC primaries tomorrow. Let’s all be thankful that Mayor Rudolph Guillani is not eligible to run for a third term. What has this do-nothing done for us anyways? His administration is mostly noted for his son out-of-control behavior during Rudy’s innaurgration, and the later “Rudy-Judy-Donna” soap opera. This man cannot keep his children and personal life under control, and yet we voted to have him run the City twice?

Just thank God that no real emergencies occured in New York during this joker’s mayorhood.

saoirse · January 7, 2006, 9:19pm

Originally posted in Great Debates on March 1, 1825

marque_elf · January 7, 2006, 9:35pm

Posted by **Lucky Ivan ** to Cafe Society dated May 2, 1908.

I just won 2 tickets to someplace in Siberia called Tunguska on the Radio Moscow morning show. It’s supposed to be really beautiful there; nothing but virgin forests and pristine glacial lakes. The catch is even though the tickets are free, I have to use them before the end of June. My boss is willing to give me the first 2 weeks of June off, so that shoudn’t be a problem. I googleskied Tunguska but there wasn’t much info available. Are there any dopers into backpacking who live near there are who’ve been there? Natascha and I would welcome any tips you could give us. We promise to take lots of pictures and post them when we get back There’s supposed to be a big meteor shower sometime there in early June. We’ll be so far from civilization that there’ll be no light pollution and the sky show should be mind blowing. This is going to be so cosmic!

wolfman · January 7, 2006, 9:55pm

xxx

Greywolf73 · January 7, 2006, 10:12pm

…

PIT THREADS, April 13, April 14, April 15 1912:

WTF? What sort of moron doesn’t put enough lifeboats on a ship?

I Pit WhiteStar Lines

About the people who were saved from Titanic-stop calling it a miracle!

Yeah, I’m looking at you J. Bruce Ismay

RealityChuck · January 7, 2006, 10:56pm

Posted in MPSIMS, May 7, 1915 by Fearless

Posted December 6, 1941 by Flyboy Charlie in Great Debates

Lakai · January 8, 2006, 5:53am

Posted around 1959 by H. Lee.

Sampiro · January 8, 2006, 5:50pm

TOM’S RIDICULOUS SOFA STUNT: He fooleth no man

[QUOTE=originally posted by Brit Man at Versailles on the 1st day of
September, Anno Domini 1789]
Did anybody perchance bear witness upon this Saturday last when, at the Chateau d’Oprah, the most highly watched salon of this Papist land, one Mr. Tom J_____n, ambassador from that bastard nation called the United States (which is a whole other Pit thread) did make of himself most dreadful and classless spectacle? Entering to applause as the French in their foppish fad loving “wisdom” (if they think violent revolutions are so wonderfu, then I must rhetorically ask, why not have one themselves?), Tom did proceed to leap upon the sofa of the hostess and proclaim “I am in love! I am in love! Heart is over head triumphant!”, and then as same audience did rejoice he did from the wings coax, nea, pull his blushing alleged consort and concubine, one Ms. Maria C____y, before the cheering crowd! The entire dreadful and sordid affair did seem most staged, and consensus among those of us heir to the regrettable memories of such spectacle was that Tom was in fact disguising where his true amorous attentions doth lie, about which there is rumor but I dare not say, save that it is a much darker tail than that of Ms. C____y.

Oh, do pardon me, the above should have read “a much darker tale”, I fear I am so terribly clumsy. [guffaws into laced and perfumed handkerchief]
[/QUOTE]

Sampiro · January 8, 2006, 6:27pm

My “Kid Brother” is Back and I Am So Royally Pissed!

originally posted by **Fay Ro**:

Okay, this requires some back story. When I was a kid my Mom, who was my grandfather’s daughter and wife [it’s complicated], was bathing in this river that runs by our house. This basket comes floating up, and inside it is a baby. She’s all like “Oooh, the gods have sent me a baby!” and I’m like “Mom! Somebody with a basket sent a baby down the river!” and she’s “Ooh, it’s fate! I’ll raise him as your brother!” and I’m like, “Mom! I’ve already got 52 brothers if you count the ones dad has with his concubines! Drown the little bastard, or cool- we can toss him to crocodiles!” and even Dad comes out and says “Ramses has a point- it’s not from the gods, that’s just a basket from downriver, and by my authority as the incarnation of God on earth I order this returned to the Nile!” but Mom looked at her father-husband and says “Papa don’t preach! I’ve made up my mind! I’m keeping my baby!”

Well she did and the little basketcase bastard was raised with me. And even though our father is a god on Earth he couldn’t keep him out of trouble! Finally, Mo (that’s what they called him) goes into this hippie activist phase, “ooooh, the slaves are being mistreated! They’re overworked!” and something about shellfish and swine meat being murder and other crap, and let’s just say he pulled a stunt with a mid level manager that got him into serious trouble with the authorities and the labor board, and then he skipped bail! Well, I’ll admit, I thought, “Good riddence! I just hope he stays gone!”

Well he did. And it was great. Dad sailed down the river to immortality and I got his job, and I married this beautiful sister I met at his funeral and took a bunch of concubines and lesser wives and, after a teenage New Age phase, returned to the family religion and if I do say so myself, I was damned good at my job. Then, years and years and years and years after the statute of limitations has expired, guess who frigging shows back up!

I’m sitting in my audience hall one day and this damned hippy walks in, but I think, hmmm, he looks familiar, and then it hits me, Maat’s Frigging Feather, it’s MO! And I’m like ‘I hoped you were dead’ and he goes ‘No, not dead, I’ve just found myself! I’ve been living with these turned on people eating mushrooms in these tents out in the deserts, and not too long ago I saw God and he told me to come talk to you, bro!” and I’m like “Which god? We only have like, a million” and he’s “there is only one’ and I’m like Mo has finally officially flipped. And I say ‘who’s the hippy beside you’ and he says ‘this is my brother, Aaron’, and I like call roll in my mind cause by the time dad died we had like 80 brothers or something but I don’t remember that and he says ‘No, he’s my Hebrew brother! I decided to find my birth mother!’ and I’m like good, go back to her, and he’s “She’s in bondage” and I’m “Way TMI Mo, what ol
d Jewish slave women do baked brick walls is their business’ and he’s ‘No, I’m going to set her free and all the other people, that’s what God told me to do’ and I’m like ‘Yeah, whatever, gee, you owe her and all, I mean she PUT YOU IN A FRIGGING BASKET AND SENT YOU UP A RIVER FILLED WITH SNAKES AND CROCODILES, NOT LIKE MOM AND GRANDPA-DAD EVER DID ANYTHING FOR YOU OTHER THAN RAISE YOU IN LUXURY! And he’s ‘yeah, she and Aaron told me how YOUR dad ordered all the baby boys among the Hebrews thrown into the Nile, you elitist bastard!’ and I’m like ‘Mo, you just said that guy next to you is your brother, and he’s maybe a year or two older than you, if they threw all the baby boys in the Nile, then how do you explain him?’ and he’s “The point is, I’m ordering you to set all the Hebrews free!” and I’m “Oh Isis, he’s hopped up on something, how do I get him out of here without causing a scene!’

I say , just get the hell out Mo, how bout I give you enough money to get some hemp slippers and the Abbadon out of Egypt and you can go back to that desert hippie cult and watch the bush flames til you die if you want to, and he says ‘Behold the power of my God!” and that Aaron guy throws down his stick. And Mo goes, ‘behold, it has turned into a mighty serpent!” and I get down and look at it and I go “Hebrew please! That’s a stick that you’ve glued two little bitty shell eyeballs onto!” and Mo goes ‘And it shall strike you!” and the thing starts wriggling which might have been more impressive if I hadn’t seen the strings Aaron was holding. I finally had it and I called security.

So I think he’s detoxed or whatever and left me alone but then a few days later I’m taking a swim, and look up and HOLY FRIGGING ANUBIS who’s on the other side of the river! This time he pokes his stick in the river and goes ‘Behold, I have turned the Nile to blood!” and I’m like “Damn it Mo! I totally saw you just dump those Cherry Kool-Aid packets in there just before you said that!’ but he’s ‘I said let my people go!”

So Ma’at’s Feather on a Pogo stick, the freak won’t just give it up and go away. One day you’ll see him screaming “The land is covered with frogs!” and I’m like “What frogs? I saw like two or three, and hello, we live in a flood plain!” and the next day he’s tossing little pieces of tied string from a basket like they’re confetti and saying “Flies! Flies! OOooooohhh, millions of ‘em!” and one day “The cattle are dying” and I’m like ‘That cow dropped dead because my teenaged son Incestocles, ran into it with his chariot, and he’s paying for it too! And he keeps on. Finally one day he comes to court and my son, Enbredhotep has been out partying with the slave girls all night, and while Mo’s babbling Enbredhotep, who’s been out partying all night and hitting the beer and the opium a bit hard, says ‘oooh, sorry dad” and pukes and passes out. And Mo of course never misses a beat, he jumps up and says “I have smitten the first born of Egypt!” and I’m like First Born My Abyssinian Ass, he’s not even my tenth! JUST GET OUT! GET OUT! GET THE EFFING ANKH OUT OF HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE! And hell, all of the Pharoah’s lawyers for the last twenty years have done nothing but fight off JDL lawsuits, if you want to take the Hebrews with you fine don’t let the Sea of Reeds hit you where that deity with no name you talk about split you! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!

I’m just glad to finally get rid of him. Now finally this region of the world can have some peace.

Sampiro · January 8, 2006, 10:50pm

XXX

Donniebelle Donner:

Hey all… haven’t felt like posting in a while. My family vacation has kind of run into some bad news and stuff and I’ve been… well, anyway, I have this really weird school project (yeah, I know, I’m like hundreds of miles from the closest school but it’s, like, a correspondence school through carrier pigeon, yeah that’s it…) and my home-ec class has this weird assignment so I’m asking here purely for hypothetical reasons…

If you just had to eat your dead grandpa to stay alive, what parts would you eat first and what recipes would you use, preferably something that cooks really fast because he’s getting ripe. Or would be, in the hypothetical case. The ingredients we have… that our teacher says to use… are snow, fire, grandpa, some rice and a little bit of konyaku. PLEASE REPLY FAST!

So I get an A I mean…

Happy_Lendervedder · January 9, 2006, 8:18am

…

Annie-Xmas · January 9, 2006, 1:52pm

Posted October 12, 1975 at 1:14 a.m. by LateNightWatcher:

I hope nobody decided to waste 1 1/2 hours of their time by watching NBC’s new show “Saturday Night.” I wish I hadn’t. Indeed, I wish I’d spent the entire day in bed with the covers over my head.

A more boring show with less talented actors could not be found. I hope the cast isn’t thinking this will lead to more work, cause it has killed all of their so-called careers. The only one with any hope is the unlikely named “Chevy Chase.” The rest of the men (Dan Akyroyd, John Belush, and Token Black Guy Garett Morris) should all start thinking of another career. And the three woman are so interchangable I cannot even remember their names (Jane, Loraine, and Golda?).

This “Comedy-Variety” show is unfunny, uninteresting, untalented, and unlikely to last more than a month. I would definitely advise anyone looking for an entertainment career to avoid this turkey, cause turkeys cannot fly.

To Canadian Lorne Michel: Nobody is interested in your concept of “Television.” Go back home.

To NBC: Go back to airing reruns and old movies on late night TV. You’ll save both money, face, and viewers time.

Don_Draper · January 9, 2006, 6:28pm

Posted by Wittenburg Student in Great Debates on Oct. 17th, 1517:

Annie-Xmas · January 9, 2006, 6:41pm

Posted by June McVeigh on April 20, 1995:

What’s that Lassie? You say little Timmy has bought a whole bunch of nitrogen-based fertilizer? And rented a huge van? You think this might lead trouble?

I think Lassie’s really lost it.

Don_Draper · January 9, 2006, 6:51pm

Posted by Jennifer North on Aug. 9th, 1969 in MPSIMS:

mobo85 · January 9, 2006, 7:24pm

Originally posted May 1, 1939 in the BBQ Pit:

Originally posted September 1, 1939 in About this Message Board

Originally posted January 27, 1986 in MPSIMS:

ExTank · January 9, 2006, 7:39pm

MPSIMS, October 15, 1947

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Historic SDMB posts throughout... history

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