I worked with a lesbian co-worker who continously made passes at me (including offering to perform oral sex on me under my desk in my office). The first pass, I wasn’t offended, and politely declined, stating I was straight and wasn’t interested, and I let it go. The second time, I was slightly irritated, but still let it go. By the time the offer for oral sex (and demands for kisses) had rolled around, I was beyond letting it go, and was downright pissed. I finally reported the behavior to HR, however, because I didn’t have any witnesses (and had obtained another job because the harrassment was so bad and was on my way out the door), nothing was done.
I’m sure she’s cornering some other employee right about now, but I don’t have to deal with it anymore.
Same here. Chicks dig me. I’m always flattered by the attention, and I couldn’t imagine holding a grudge. In fact, I sometimes wish I could just be a lesbian … I would certainly have more sex.
No reason to be weirded out if it were brought up and dropped, or hold any kind of grudge if someone of either sex hit on me. I’d be concerned if it weren’t dropped, or if our relationship inside or outside of work went beyond my comfortable boundaries.
I know one place I worked two of the married guys flirted with me quite a lot; one was happily married and the two of them seemed to have poly leanings, the other was stuck in a marriage of unequals where she cracked the whip (and not in the BSDM way) … but they stopped once I started dating Ramit … apparently since I never talked about guys or dating eveyone assumed I was a lesbian.
Afew years ago, while I was living in NC, I resided in a boarding house with gay roommates- male and female. One of the females was a stripper, and ironically she was my best friend there. One night she was bored, so she talked me into taking her to a club, because she had no car.
The club was a gay bar, and she wanted to date the owner/bartender. She told me beforehand- it was no big deal to me.
I wasn’t rude to anybody, but I didn’t dance. I sat at the bar and drew sketches of several people. I watched my friend work on the owner, who seemed to have no lack of suitors- she kept returning to my friend. All that time, I must either have been giving off a “not me” vibe, or I was just not interesting enough- no one even made an attempt. (My friend may have been saying something to them.)
I was neither disappointed or insulted; I had a good time talking to real people. That visit cured me of any latent homophobia, while confirming for me that I had no interest whatsoever in being gay.
So, in a nutshell- I would not be offended, unless the approach was offensive. The answer would be no, thanks. Even if I weren’t married.
Happened to me (befoe I was married so he simply made an incorrect assumption) and I never thought much of it, though he was embarrassed enough that we didn’t see much of each other after that. Nice guy, though.
It used to bug me when I was a virgin guy teenager, mostly because a high rate of people assuming me to be gay seemed likely to correlate with a lower percentage of females perceiving me as a likely partner-person. Doesn’t bug me now.
If a co-worker hit on me, I would be offended and I would probably hold a grudge. All my co-workers know I’m married and they all know my wife. Gay or straight wouldn’t enter into the question.
A stranger hitting on me, however, would be kinda flattering and I would not be upset about it at all.
I would not hold a grudge against the person, but no matter how nicely matters were resolved, I believe I’d be hyper-aware of the impression I give that person for a while. I’d be the same way with someone of opposite gender. Maybe I’m too cautious but when you turn someone down for any reason, it pays to take care not to raise false hopes. If, despite their words, I still sensed a sexual/romantic attraction, I’d probably wean myself away from the person.
If a guy hit on me, I would be surprised because I very rarely get targeted by either sex (not much of a social life), but I wouldn’t be insulted or angered. I’d likely be flattered, depending on the person. But I might be a little worried about how many people might think I’m gay. If I actually had a social life, and the guy who hit on me was part of my social circle, I’d be tempted to ask him for a favor. No! Not that kind of favor. :rolleyes: I’d ask him to pass the word around that I’m not gay, should others be under that impression, and possibly mention my availability to any nice heterosexual girls he happens to know. Networking.
My father, over 30 years ago, was at a social gathering in Toronto when a guy hit on him. He apparently just told the guy that he wasn’t gay, and not to hit on him again. I don’t know anything more specific about the encounter - whether the other guy was drunk, or how exactly he made his move on my Dad - but I can easily see my Dad being direct yet civilized with his reaction.
Yes, this happened to me, and not only did I not hold a grudge against the guy who hit on me, but he quickly became one of my best friends. Remains so to this day (ten years).
I’m always flattered by the attention, and I couldn’t imagine holding a grudge. In fact, I sometimes wish I could just be a lesbian … I would certainly have more sex.
I’d ask him to pass the word around that I’m not gay, should others be under that impression, and possibly mention my availability to any nice heterosexual girls he happens to know. Networking.