Man, it’s getting so complicated to have sex these days. It used to be, back in the good old days, you just found some girl you wanted to have sex with, got her drunk and did the deed. If you were feeling particularly needy you could let her spend the night and make you breakfast before kicking her out.
Then the PC Police come out and say you’ve got to be all walking on eggshells and “ask permission” and it doesn’t count if she’s “unconscious” or “says no.” As if that wasn’t bad enough, now you not only have to get it ok’ed by the girl you’re having sex with but your actual girlfriend, too? Everybody climb into the handbasket, we’re on a one way trip to Cantgetlaidwithoutaformsignedintriplicatesville*. I hope you brought snacks!
Actually, some of us have been crunching the numbers. Our advice was initially based on our model indicating that you would find your soulmate in the next 90 days. Turns out, someone :rolleyes: put a decimal in the wrong place and you are now likely to die alone…assuming someone doesn’t develop the technology to live to 215 years old.
Sorry
Rule of Three dude. It’s probably closer to “one”. Possibly a prostitute.
OP–I’m sorry I was so harsh in my last post. Take it from a nurse: a good clean break or a straight scalpel used mercilessly heals faster and better than this morass of drama and feelings you’ve created. You are both very young. Perhaps you’ll learn from this.
I came to this party late, but it’s quite obvious to me that you don’t know what love is. You think you do, but you don’t.
If you can’t stand someone, you don’t love them. Oh, there may be annoying quirks, and there may be habits you’d wish they would change, but if you cannot stand to be around someone, you don’t love them. The two are mutually exclusive.
You just got used to being in a relationship. Make it a clean break…it will be healthiest for both of you.
News Flash: That wasn’t love.
Congratulations. And thanks for following up. I came back to this thread specifically to find out if you’d taken care of your unfinished business.
P.S. Don’t bother softening the blow by “taking a break.” That’s a euphemism for, “I feel like a heartless bastard/bitch, so I don’t quite have the kahunas to just break it off cleanly.”
Could you direct her to assertiveness lessons/counselling or something similar/
If they work she could become more of a partner then a burden or maybe decide to make the break herself having new horizons,or worst possible case be able to handle being binned a lot better.
Or alternatively, he could look into those things for himself, so that he can learn to just end a relationship he’s unhappy in, rather than indulge himself in all this passive-aggressive bullshit.
Interesting assertion. Do you refer to Eros, Agape, or Philia? Or all three?
And can you back that up? After all, the world’s literature is filled with tales of lovers who also couldn’t stand to be with each other, from “A midsummer night’s dream” to “The odd couple”.
It also describes how I feel about a few of my relatives…
I’m not talking about romance novels or sitcoms or Shakespearean plays, I’m talking about real life. If you can’t stand to be around someone that does not bode well for a healthy, long term, intimate relationship, whether it’s a marriage or a roommate situation or a business partnership. I can’t stand some of my relatives, either, but then again, I don’t have to interact with them on a daily basis.
Philia=brotherly love (Philadelphia)
I can’t stand a lot of the people I love,but they are not people whom Eros has shot me with (that sentence doesn’t make sense. Never mind)
Second attempt: I don’t feel erotic love for people I can’t stand. usually. Mostly. I think…
Good for you. I too had to endure an awkward breakup recently as well.
In my case, my girlfriend was good friend’s with my best friend’s girlfriend. My best friend’s girlfriend seemed to have him around her little finger, he did everything she did/said. So when I first started to want to break up with my then-girlfriend, I was really worried that she would ‘retaliate’ by trying to paint me as some abusive asshole, and the breakup would inevitably strain my relationship with my best friend.
I hung on to this stupid theory for a while. Finally, I really felt like I didn’t want to hold off breaking up just because I thought I had a friendship held hostage by this woman. Much to my surprise, the opposite of what I thought happened; her own friendship was strained much more than my respective one was. Sadly the breakup kind of kicked off this schism in our group of friends, but that’s fine by me since personally I’m not interested in being friends with my exes, nor particularly fond of them being friends with my friends (nothing wrong with either of those, its just a personal preference).
When I was with her, I wanted to have sex with other women. The sex was okay, I was just…bored with her in that regard I guess. However I really tried to find ways to make it interesting for us for a long time, and never actually cheated on her during our relationship. I had reasoned if I wanted to have sex with someone else badly enough, then breaking up with her would be easy.
