how do I get this guy out of my house?

The BBQ Pit
1

A little background: Met this campy 24 year old gay man (irrelevant I know) while on holidays overseas, kept in touch via e-mail. Had only known him for 2 days, I personally thought he was a bit of a tosser, but my SO though he was a riot. So he announces that he is coming to Oz to live, and could we be of any assistance.
Sure we say, you are welcome to stay in our spare room for a few weeks while you get on your feet. (how stupid we were). Anyway, he arrives and has thrown our lives into complete caos.
Firstly it doesn’t help that my SO and I are very quiet people in that we live on property and love the peaceful life we have created. We both have very people oriented and stressful jobs, and get overwhelmed by too much stimuli.
It’s now been two weeks and 2 days (yes I’m counting) and the fucker is pissing us off in a major way.
He has not foung a job, and is spending more time and energy looking for a shag. He has mentioned that he only has $700 left, and that was about $200 ago.
He sit’s on the computer for hours, so we can’t get on. Sure you’re looking for a job. I’m sure Andy or Todd with their broad shoulders, Calvin Clein (whatever) underwear and large dick are going to be of assistance.
He has the most inflatted opinion of himself, and monopolises every conversation to talk about himself… Ahhhhhhh!!!

Right now he is in the kitchen, making himself a meal, with the food WE bought! Typing this is keeping me from yelling at him.
My partner and I only get a few moments a day together as we have a 9 year old, and we go out to the verandah (front porch, or balcony for you non-aussie’s) at the end of a day while the liitle one is watching the Simpsons to catch up … the bastards comes out and sit’s down between us and ignores our obvious body language to piss off.
He has no car, and he can kiss my arse if he thinks I’m driving him anywhere on my day off.

Sorry, I could go on for ever, but you get the picture.
I hope he has saved enough money for a flight back to NZ, because if he doesn’t shape up, he’s outta here.

Now he’s sitting in front of the TV… yeh lot’s of employment opportunities there buddy! Hey, a little housework wouldn’t be out of the question. Shit, I wanna hurt him!!!

p.s he is not paying any rent, and seeing as though it has only been 2 weeks we have not asked him to chip in for gas, elec… etc.

What are we going to do?
How do we rectify this situation, while still looking like nice people (before you jump in and tell us to tell him to simply Fuck off)
:slight_smile:

2

You scream at him. If that doesn’t work, call the police. Look, this guy has overstayed his welcome. An appropriate response would not include politeness. Paint thinner? Yes. Not politeness.

3

The guy is blatantly using you. IMO, you look nice enough now.

As far as I’m concerned, you should get up from your computer and tell him to get packed right now. You said several weeks, it’s been two and a bit. Close enough.

Or, you could do this: Figure out what day you want him out by. Then tell him and mean it. Be honest, tell him that you want your life back and the decision and time line is not open for negotiation. Offer to drop him off to somewhere and then he’s on his own.

Don’t negotiate with the guy. Just take control of the situation and don’t put up with any bullshit.

Good luck.

4

Tell him to get out?

Quit being nice. The leech doesn’t deserve it.

5

Superstar, do you have any reason at all to suspect he may get angry or vengeful if you ask him to leave ?
If so, figure out a way to do it while protecting yourself first.
I’d suggest engaging him in a conversation regarding any job opportunities he’s found, then launch into an explanation of how there really aren’t any jobs on the coast, and he’d be better off in Bondi :wink: where he could search Sydney for work, more thoroughly.
Explain how many people on the coast commute to Sydney for work, when they’d all love to work locally if possible, causing heaps of competition for jobs, on the coast. Then explain that you really only planned on having him stay for a week or two at most… testing the waters, in a way.
Hopefully this will be subtle enough that you still look nice (if that’s important to you) and also can broach the topic and see his reaction, without turning it into a confrontation.

Or, I’d just invite a bunch of friends over and tell him to pack his bags, you’ll be driving him to the train station in half an hour. I’ll help, I hate bludgers :slight_smile:

6

Doesn’t he require a visa to enter the country? If so, when’s it going to expire?

Failing that, change the locks, change the phone number, and set up your computer so that you need a password to get past the screensaver.

And do what the government (supposedly) does for those looking for work: demand proof. Then tell him to get the hell off your property and not to return on pain of arrest for trespass.

7

I’ll send you a bat, American Style Baseball will work. I haven’t checked out a one used in Wicket to see if it’d work.

8

You simply tell him “You’ve been here for X weeks. You have to leave tomorrow. We’ll drive you to the bus terminal, so have your shit packed by 9.”

Some leeches can stay for MONTHS without caring whether you’re inconvenienced or not. They’ll eat your food, borrow your stuff, subvert your lives, without a blink. They think they’re free spirits. If you have any booze in the house, they’ll happily drink your free spirits, too. Tell the asshole he’s leaving. Check he doesn’t steal anything on the way out.

  • PW
9

Superstar this happened to me earlier this year. I was 5 months pregnant, we had just moved into a place of our own after sharing house with my SIL and her two kids for a year. We really needed some alone time and then my hubby’s tosser friend shows up and stays with us - supposedly house and job hunting. He would disappear for days on end only to suddenly reappear again, ate our food, used our hot water, electricity etc with no monetary compensation to us. He would spend all day watching our DVD’s and made no attempt to house or job hunt. At no time did he show any understanding of the fact that I was pregnant and he was camped out in our babies bedroom. We asked him to leave and he didn’t, we gave him a deadline to get out of the house and he didn’t.

My hubby couldn’t find it in himself to toss this guy out. So one day I packed all his stuff in the boot of my car, when the tosser arrived home I retrieved my housekeys from him, told him to get him in the car and drove him and his shit to the nearest train station. I was 5 months pregnant and I was pissed off.

He was with us for almost a month, I took such extreme action because I was worried that under Victorian tenancy laws I would be unable to get rid of him after the month was up.

NB I was shaking with fear the whole time I drove him to the station and barely spoke two words to him. Hubby got an earful from me afterwards and I don’t think will make the same mistake again.

And an interesting side note - not one of this guys family members, mother, brother or father would let him stay with them, even though they all lived locally.

10

Look, have you thought of asking the guy about his job searching progress? If you truly wanted to help him get back on his feet, why not make it a requirement that he pick up X number of job applications per week (how about 7… one per day?), and then drive him to the locations so he can turn them in?

11

Lucky you.

12

" If you truly wanted to help him "

Don’t fall into this trap. He’s already pissed you off. He’s eating your food and probably ruining your sex life, too. Why would you take the responsibility of mentoring his job search and driving him around? Fuck. Turn the tosser out. Period.

  • PW
13

This guy is a domestic terrorist. Off him.

14

Fuck helping him. The guy is a leech. You really do just have to tell him to piss off.

The next time he’s out of the house just throw all his shit out front and lock the door. If he gives you any crap call the cops. He’s not you’re friend and you owe him nothing.

15

I’m looking at this from the point of view of the lodger. From I can gather, it seems

(1) He was invited into your home for “several weeks”.

(2) He has consumed your food. However, whenever I have house guests they eat my food, and vice versa. I don’t see what there is to be particularly pissed off about.

(3) He could very possibly be looking for a job. Just because he’s in front of the computer doesn’t mean he isn’t also looking for work. Maybe he’s using the computer to look up what work is availiable in the area?

I could imagine myself as this man. I plan things based upon the assumption that I can stay at your place for several weeks. I can picture myself sitting in front of the computer looking on the internet for jobs. I eat the food around the house because I assume that’s the standard etiquette for house guests, and my hosts have not spoken with me about how unhappy they are with me eating their food.

Then, one day, as I return from my job search, I find my stuff out on the street without ANY warning at all.

I just don’t see how the other posters on this thread see this as being ok.

16

I agree, and for the first couple of days we didn’t mind as he was a new guest, and didn’t know where the shops were etc, then we spoke to him about buying his own groceries from now on. He was okay with that, and went with us to the shops and bought a few things that he likes… that was just the once. He’s run out of his stuff now… and I know he hasn’t been the shops this week.
So far the advice has been rather hasty, and rude, that is not our objective. We want him out but we want to stay in touch with him once he moves out. He’s never said anything rude and is always polite, he’s just slack and cramping our style. My SO finds herself staying in her room alot since he’s been here, and I think this has something to do with it. I don’t like seeing my babe unhappy. Though I am more vocal about the situation than her.

It’s a bit catch-22. I couldn’t be stuffed helping, yet I feel that if I don’t he’ll be with us for 6 months.

I couldn’t bring myself to dump him or his stuff, that’s just not the sort of person I am, and he doesn’t really deserve that… I’m just angry and want my life back.

17

I’m sorry, but you seem like grade A leech-bait. This guy is going to cost you for many months.

18

I’m a little sensitive about this issue, especially calling somebody a “leech”.

I’ve been struggling to get through college. I’ve been trying to keep up with my school work and trying to search for a job. I’m staying with my father now, I help out around the house, and I babysit my siblings.

My dads girlfriend is being a tremendous bitch and calling me a “leech” and worthless because I don’t have a job. I update her two or three times a week on where I’ve applied to but the name calling persists. I help out around the house, I do chores, I babysit my siblings, and I am not intrusive. I live in the basement and she hardly ever has to even see me.

I know she would like to boot my ass to the curb in a New York minute if she had a say (which she doesn’t, since its my dads house). Thank God.

I’ve had little luck finding either lately. :frowning:

19

This might be one instance where you’re happy to see your mother-in-law. “Sorry dude, the ol’ bag needs a place to catch her beauty sleep, and she’ll need a lot of it. Call me!” :wink:

20

Again with the fucking paint thinner? What the fuck is wrong with you, Gadfly? Surely you have some other solutions to life’s problems. Presumably some that don’t involve physically harming those that offend you. You may indeed have been only engaging in hypebole when you first uttered your idiocy, but that’s getting difficult to believe, given your amplifications of it in the linked thread, and now your repetition in another thread.

I repeat, you are a repulsive asshole.