Not to burst your “I’m sexy bubble” or anyone elses for that matter.
It could just as easily be he is a horndog and your passable enough for the required horndoggin.
Just because a guy doesnt fuck you every chance he has doesnt mean he doesnt like you or love you. Because he does doesnt mean he does either.
I’m a lucky one, too. If I am ready he is ready. I think I could count on the fingers of one hand how many times he’s refused me, and it’s always been of sheer exhaustion.
Been together 13 years. I’m not posting to brag, but to be very very grateful - I am lucky, and I realize it.
Not actually married, but been living with my gf for 9 years. Not once in that time have I ever turned down any sexual advance. Partially becuase I am the stereotypical horny guy, and mostly becuase she rarely initiates or really has much desire, so there aren’t many advances to turn down.
That fuck me boots thread depressed the hell out of me, another reminder that there are women out there that have healthy sex drives, but they don’t live in my house.
ah well…
Not married but have been cohabitating for 6yrs.
When I don’t feel like it I don’t. Consider yourself lucky.
I’m not a husband, but only two of the (dozen or so) married couples of whose sex life details I’m aware fit the OP’s description. Given that in both cases the husband is of the kind who’ll have sex with any hole that lies still long enough, I don’t really see it as an advantage.
I do know several where, if the lowest-libido partner is willing, the highest-libido partner will be happy to go for it, but sometimes when you’re dead tired you’re dead tired.
Married for 17 years (today) and known her for just about 20. Sex is 2x per month, I don’t recall it being appreciably more when we first started.
I don’t see either of us jonesin’ for more. We are both allowed to say no. I’m not going to insist on sex (I’m not a pig), I try to make my move, if she says no, then I try again another day. No real hard feelings. I’m still affectionate towards her on a daily basis (hugging, kissing, tap on the ass, etc) and I still think she’s a hot chick.
We don’t have kids. My wife has some physical issues and I generally don’t sleep past 5AM, no matter when I go to sleep, so therefore I’m usually really tired by 8:30PM. Our timing doesn’t seem to co-incide, but when it’s really important, we always seem to find a way.
I am astonished at those who get sex so irregularly (not a criticism). I thought every night (nature allowing) was pretty normal. On the weekends you always have a lunch break for a bit of slap and tickle so you keep in the mood.
I’m one of those husbands. I don’t really have an off switch.
geobabe1 and I have been together 7 1/2 years, and I can count the times I would say “no thanks” on one hand, maybe a hand and a half. Mostly when really sick or dead tired.
I’m constantly walking around with rock-hard erections, because I’m just so damn virile.
I have some health issues in that general area, so sometimes it’s really painful to do it. My fiancee is super patient with me… there may be months where we’re doing it every other day because I don’t hurt, and there may be months where we don’t do it at all. If I want to and don’t hurt, he’s more than willing. But he’s also more than willing to wait when I’m having problems. He’s great like that.
OP, it sounds like I’m a lot like your husband: always ready to go!
Unfortunately, my wife does not see this as an endearing quality.
My wife could not possibly keep up with me if I was getting it as much as I wanted. I could easily keep up a three times a day seven days a week schedule, except that her drive just isn’t as strong as mine. I’m lucky if I get three times a week because of the conflicting schedules and waiting for her to be in the right mood.
That’s what I always figured was the difference between men and women’s sex drive. Guys don’t need to be in a particular mood. We don’t need to be romanced and charmed and swept off our feet. If you want sex from us, you’ll have it in whatever time it takes us to drop our pants, with no special preparation required.
Everyone needs to read this and understand that it is the gospel truth. Sex is not, not, NOT love, to guys. Not even good sex. It may make us seem shallow, but keep in mind that I’m not saying guys are incapable of love. I love my wife with all my heart, but the amount of my love for her doesn’t influence my sex drive even one little bit, and I’d fuck her brains out even if I completely hated her guts (which I certainly don’t). Guys with less of a sex drive might love their wife with all their heart, but just don’t feel like having sex, because sex and love don’t even live in the same zip code.
So long as he’s not so drunk as to suffer from whiskey-dick and not on death’s door, my husband is ready and willing. We would have sex every day if it were up to him, but life gets in the way. We’ve been married for eight years, together for almsost ten, and have two toddlers (18 months and 3 years).
As the OP of They’re called ‘f*ck me’ shoes for a reason! may I say you probably aren’t taking your husband for granted. He sounds like a great guy, and you sound like you know it.
I do think that you are lucky, not so much that you get sex when you want it, but because you two seem to be on the same wavelength most of the time. There are a lot of wonderfully strong relationships with loving partners who simply have some compatibility issues. (Though getting sex when you want it is also a cool thing. ;))
/hijack/
(bolding mine)
Yeesh. It was 40 pounds. Over 17 years. I was 110lbs when we met, and my weight creeped up to 150 by January. Strangely enough, the 15 pounds I’ve lost kind of creeped off, too. I was making healthier lifestyle choices and noticed a couple of months back that I was losing weight.
I apologize to the OP, but my ego wouldn’t let me leave it alone. :rolleyes:
/end hijack//
As I was reading that thread, it struck me that we finally seem to have retired the trope that all women are frigid bitches who have to be begged and cajoled into sex. Now it’s time to lose the one that says any guy who isn’t ready to have sex anywhere, anytime, and at a moment’s notice has something wrong with him.
I have never found my wife anything but sexy, but no, I’m not “always on”. For one thing, I have pretty raging ADHD, so when my brain gets locked in to something it’s really hard for me to get it out. (“Hyperfocus”, as they call it.) I also have my own body issues and a job that, in the past, left me stressed out and/or exhausted most of the time.
I could deal with all that (in fact, it’s better than it used to be). But what makes it 10x worse is everybody going, “Seriously? How could you POSSIBLY turn down SEX? There must be something seriously wrong with you, or else you’re cheating on her.” Especially since this has often made it hard for me to convince my wife that it has nothing to do with her.
I know there are a lot of guys out there with the sex drive of the wacky horny sitcom neighbor. (As seen in this thread.) But there are a lot of guys like me, too.
I didn’t read the entire thread, but, I do know that familiarity breeds contempt, and that when a guy gets a bit older he’s likely not to care as much.
I’m not a husband, and never have been, but I’ve been in committed relationships where I could definitely see myself in that role. To answer the OP, depending on what my girlfriend (or wife) wears, that can really determine whether I’m turned on or not. I’ve dated girls who only wear baggy and/or loose fitting clothes. They say it’s comfortable and people should like them for who they are, not for what they wear. Especially their own boyfriend (or husband). Well, sure, up to a certain point though.
When a girl only wears those types of clothes, it signals to me that she has hangups about her body and is afraid to show it off. Basically, she doesn’t have the confidence to wear anything revealing. And, I’m a sucker for confidence. I find confident women sexy as fuck and get really turned on by them. And, I realize confidence can be displayed in other ways, but confidence in your body is still important for me.
Also, just the fact that she has taken the time to get all dressed up for me and make herself look pretty makes me feel all special, warm, and fuzzy inside. I know the “fuck me” heels she has on are killing her feet, I know the tight jeans or short skirt she’s wearing is uncomfortable as hell, and I know the make-up she has on took an hour to apply. So, the fact that she went through all of that, for me, drives me crazy.
It shows me that she still cares, that she doesn’t take me or the relationship for granted, that she still wants to look attractive for me, and will take the time to do so. So, on the flip side, when she wears clothes that hide her body, or does not make any effort to look attractive, my attraction for her wanes, and consequently, I’m not as turned on. I start believing the opposite of those qualities.
What’s more, in my experience, when having sex with those girls who “hide” their bodies with baggy clothes, the same mentality is brought to the bedroom as well. Meaning, in much the same way she’ll hide her body with clothes, she’ll do whatever she can to hide her body without clothes also. Like, having sex with the lights off or very dim, facing away from the mirrored closet doors, or if it’s winter, doing it while under the covers.
Now, I understand some girls sometimes feel “hormonal,” may feel “bloated,” and it may just be “that time of the month.” Sure, I get it; they don’t necessarily feel the sexiest on those days. But, all the time? Come on now.
Another subject on which I sometimes bore is weight loss. That 15 pounds? You lost it the right way - well done and keep it up! And that’s as close as I get, this post, to drawing any comparisons to anything going on elsewhere.
Re: the OP, I’ve never been one to turn down sex out of bloodymindedness, or needed to as a rule, and when I’ve been ill enough to, it’s been obvious that there was no point even going there. However, I can certainly see that there is such a thing as being too available.