You’ve been watching way too much porn. 
Sometimes life gets in the way, and when you have kids they get in the way too. There is an optimal time between sex which varies with age. I don’t know if a day was ever it for me, that would be too much at my age now. (Not from ability, from enjoyment.) 2 weeks is way too long for us.
I wasn’t referring to you. I was trying to think of anything that might make my husband unattractive to me and thought I probably wouldn’t notice weight gain on him unless it had been significant, like around 50 pounds.
And I know what you mean about weight creep - mine has crept up quite a bit since we got married; even moreso since we began having kids. After a health scare (not a heart attack or anything, just really bad cholesterol numbers), I dumped 25 pounds and 70 cholesterol points. My husband claimed that he didn’t notice that I had gained weight, but after I lost it, all of a sudden he kept telling me how hot I looked, so I’m sure he had but didn’t say anything.
Anyway, my point was that I could see where sex wouldn’t happen as often as you might like; there are crazy schedules to deal with, sometimes kids, and friends and family eat up a lot of time. It doesn’t take much for the day and night to get away from you. Heck, it doesn’t take much for the week to get away from us when my husband works so many late hours or if I’ve been traveling for work or am tired from carrying around a basketball in my belly. I’d love to have sex more, but I’m glad we’re at least having sex much more than we had been immediately after our son was born. Hopefully that trend will continue or at least we’ll improve more quickly after #2 is born. We’ll see, though.
I almost could’ve written this. We’ll celebrate our 19th anniversary next week. Although we each have our flaws, I think my wife and I are very well-matched.
carlotta, you remind me of the old joke about the man whose doctor tells him he’s developed a severe heart condition and must avoid absolutely any form of exertion, especially sex. The man goes home, dejected. He and his wife had always had a lively sex life, but they reluctantly agree that he should have his bed moved to the first floor while she’ll keep hers on the second, to avoid any fatal temptation. One night passes, then two, and late the third night they bump into each other on the stairs.
“I have to admit, honey,” the man says ruefully, “I was just coming upstairs to commit suicide.”
“That’s good, sweetie,” she says, kissing him, “because I was just coming downstairs to kill you!”
Thanks for all the replies, boys and girls. They have been very informative.
While I agree with great gusto…
Just because your hubby might be a horndog (though through conversations with his old girlfriends, he actually isn’t), doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, like you and find you sexy.
A doesn’t imply B does not mean that A excludes B.
Maybe true for most guys, but not me. A good deal of the time I’d be fine for it, but if I’m engaged in something, I’ll probably want to finish it.
Again, not true for me. I can’t imagine having sex with someone you hate. If I wouldn’t want to have dinner with her, I don’t want a show either.
I can’t really say for sure; I don’t even know you. But as a general rule of thumb I only have sex with my wife. No offense!
‘Having sex’ and ‘Making love’ are different things as far as I’m concerned. The second usually includes the first. ‘Having sex’ just to get your rocks off without caring how your partner feels about it or whether she even wants to, or going into a sulk or self-pity because she won’t is barely one step away from being ready to hold her down if she puts up a fight. It’s only fun for me when it’s fun for her. I’m surprised at how many women just talking to or discussing over the Net (not in bed!) have found that really offensive. They make it sound as if they’d prefer somebody to get on with it whatever their feelings.
My husband is a walking boner. Not a pervert, but he could do it anywhere/anytime. 2x a day would be his ideal. No, he doesn’t get that, but we’re getting better now that the kids are getting slightly older. I’ve realized how important sex is in a marriage (his online affair was my first clue). If your hubby isn’t satisfied, many of them will get it elsewhere, whether you believe it or not.
And in the 40-44 age bracket, by the looks of it. Did you qualify?
Not yet, but I’ve still got three years to work my way there.
I don’t understand – are you saying that women find it offensive that it’s only fun for you if it’s fun for her? Why on earth would that be offensive?
I guess I’m like the OP’s husband, however I have turned my wife down a few (maybe 4) times in our 11 years of marriage and 24 years of knowing each other. Each time it was when I would have otherwise jumped at it, but was suffering from some intestinal distress which would have caused us to clean much more of the bedroom than either of us would want, if you get my meaning.
I used to initiate it about 80% of the time, but recently I’ve been on some prostate meds which have somewhat dampened my libido, so it’s not always on my mind to the extent it used to be. But even with that, we still manage 3-4 encounters a week, and now we both initiate it about the same amount.
This. Some of the worst overall relationships I was in, the sex was great. I think that the chemistry is important, and both parties need to keep trying to be attractive to the other. Don’t put on 100 lbs., come home and put on your sweat pants with holes in them, belch and fart all of the time, and then wonder why your spouse doesn’t find you attractive anymore. Hint: It’s because you aren’t attractive anymore.
I know that sounds mean, but honesty is helpful in a relationship…
Are we married to the same man?
My husband and I have been together for nearly 14 years now. We broke up for a year about 6 years ago, then got back together and got married. I can’t remember any single time that he’s been too tired/preoccupied/sick for sex. He has the libido of a 16 year old (he’s 39). Even when he had some life-saving surgery he managed to get a quicky while he was still all stitched up like an old shoe.
I know not all men are like that. I also know that it doesn’t have to do with how much he loves me (and I believe he does), but it’s nice to have a restaurant open 24/7 nearby. You never know when hunger will strike.
You say that like it’s a bad thing. 
Male, married 27 years so far. While I can’t say I never turned her down, it isn’t common for us.
She’s hot and she knows what I like. I have to be pretty badly off before I would say No to that.
I always assumed that was normal. Different people have different levels of libido. If they find a way to make it work, more power to them.
Regards,
Shodan
Methinks you have just hit the nail on the head. 