I can't read this girl at all! (how do I know if she's into me?)

I agree. Movies suck for dates, IMHO, for the reasons you stated.

The choice of venue for said date was already established before the OP was made.

IIRC, he never explicitly asked for future date sites/ideas.

If a movie setting is most comfortable to him, we should adapt our advice to that scenario.

Telling him that you think his choice of venue was imperfect doesn’t help him at all. The date and location have been set.

Autolycus thinks you should fuck her. I’d wait at least until you leave the theater for that. Yes, I’m joking.

If you get fatigued from watching movies, then by all means skip the movie. :rolleyes: I like movies and find them exciting. I also would date women who like moves.

However, as noted the OP isn’t asking for date ideas, just how to read the woman.

Well, thanks for all the advice guys (and no, I’m not looking for date ideas – incidentally, my first one with her was a game of pool).

Anyway, we wound up seeing Star Dust (great flick), and then grabbed some dinner afterward. I had a great time, as expected, because she’s a really fun person. But I’m still none-the-wise of where I stand, relationship wise. (and no, I didn’t explicitly ask for a couple of reasons, which I’ll get to).

I did notice a couple of things though, which may or may not mean anything. During dinner, she briefly answered a call and told the person she was “at dinner with a friend.” Granted, I don’t know what else she could refer to me as, but seems kind of damning. Afterwards, we talked for a bit, then she hugged me before parting ways – I don’t know if anything can be made of that.

And as for why I didn’t commit to asking her about a “date” – well, she invited me to her birthday party this weekend, and I didn’t want to make things potentially awkward when that comes up. Maybe I’ll ask her then? So in summary, I’m still a clueless idiot.

Good luck!

Especially not if you prefer salt popcorn. It really, really stings.

Yeah, everyone likes movies, that’s not the point. :rolleyes: The point is that you are on a date trying to get to know this person and presumably escalate the relationship towards sex. You go on a movie date, you come out of the movie and you have now just spent 2 hours together but not together.

Yeah you are…no offense.

Look, once you get the “nice guy” date out of the way (which you did with pool) you have one to at most three more dates to close the deal (that means to at least kiss her romantically). Movies is one, birthday is two, and that leaves one more. And really if you haven’t made a move by the second date, the odds of winding up in the friend zone increase exponentially as she will be like “what’s wrong with this guy”?

And this birthday party is worse than the movie date. Because you are going to be in a room full of her friends and family with no clear idea on where you’re relationship stands. And god forbid you meet her actual boyfriend. Now you’re stuck with these people having to pretend to not be disappointed.

What is your interaction with her like when you are out? Are you guys flirty and touchy or do you just have really nice talks?

Here’s what I would do. See if you can get together the thurs or fri before her birthday party. Go someplace like a nice bar or lounge or a coffee shop or a walk in the park or wherever. The point is you want to go someplace where you can interact with he physically and get close to her. She how she responds to light casual touches (like touching her arm and moving in close like you need to tell her something). Ultimately, you’re goal will be to find a moment where it feels right to kiss her.

If she’s not into it, you have your answer. And then you can be like “I’m sorry, I was under the impression that you shared a romantic interest”

Dude, take it from a guy whose been your shoes. You’re going to drive yourself fucking crazy thinking like this, constantly dissecting each and every second you shared through the date… what does this mean, what does that mean, DOES SHE LIKE ME?!

This is fear of rejection you’re dealing with here. You’ve got 1 decision to make: Do you like her? If so, find a way to go out with her and try to kiss her. Done and done. If she’s not into it, she’s not, but the only way you’re going to find out is by giving it a shot.

My dating life has been so much better since I stopped caring what the girl thought about ME, and instead deciding how I felt about HER, then acting accordingly.

Strange as it may seem- this also makes you more attractive. You don’t need to be a total douchebag but a little self-interest reads as confidence. Many times, she will not even know that she likes you until you decide that you like her and make a confident move.

Sure it might work in Doperland— where people always say what they mean and mean what they say; where every direct question is met with a truthful answer; where no motive is ever hidden; where “voluptuous” never means “fat,” but where leagues of lonely men pine wistfully for the obese women they somehow cannot manage to find in their offline lives; and where the primary cause of death is being crushed beneath an avalanche of one’s own books— but the real world is a cruel place of guile and intrigue: a playground for prowling, vulpine ectomorphs, their pale fingers unblemished by paper cuts or the orange stains of powdered cheese. Be on your guard.

To borrow a meme from a less sophisticated corner of the internet: You win the thread. I seriously roflcoptered.

I can’t imagine you’ll be too put out by her not liking you ‘in that way,’ if she’s not interesting enough for friendship. Personally, I stay far away from guys who don’t have any platonic girl friends. They tend to treat women as foreign creatures.

You’re still sweating what ONE woman thinks of you? FOOL.

My latest in a series of desperately unfulfilling jobs is that I am now a … telemarketer. With one month of experience and two pay periods behind me, I can safely say that this experience is very helpful in broadening your dating perspective in one sense: success is all about enthusiasm and numbers. You won’t be able to reach people. So what? Keep calling. You will get rejected. So what? Keep calling. People will feign interest in you. So what? Keep calling. People will string you along for no damn good reason. So what? So what, I say.

The next call will give you everything you wanted.

Once you get past your fear of rejection, it’s not about whether or not this one specific female likes you. When you play the numbers, its how many women of this specific type will end up liking you.

Alternately, you can ride on the passenger side of your best friend’s ride and try to holler at women, but I’ve heard you can’t get no love from her.

You need to get a third party involved.
I had to do that after getting led around and couldn’t make heads or tails of girls mixed signals.
Meet a friend at a restaurant, bar, your apartment when she’s with you. Then excuse yourself for a bit. Have your friend ask her “So what’s the deal with you two? Are you guys an item?”
She’ll either deny it right away, “Oh, no. We’re just really good friends. He’s a lot of fun” or she’ll go along with it “Yeah, things are going good, I’m really into him, hopefully we’ll be together for a while.”
Whatever she tells the third party (your friend) is how she really feels.


Memorize this:

  1. She is into you, as soon as you decide to make a move she will be on board.
  2. Then, live your life by this motto (1), disregarding negative events as irrelevant and accepting positive events as confirmation of your desireability.

People are constantly on about why girls like “bad boys”. It is because “bad boys” live their lives by some version of the above set of instructions.

Here’s the best part- you don’t have to actually feel this way, you just have to behave as if you do.

I think I’ve found myself a sig quote. :smiley:

You’re obviously quite tickled by this euphemism, as evidenced by the fact that you keep posting it over and over:

I hate to burst your bubble, but your friend Rob didn’t invent it. (Just for reference, he also didn’t come up with the phrases “drop trou”, “too much information”, or “I gotta get me some of that”.) Enough already.

It’s simple, stupid, and silly. What’s wrong with it?

Not to mention easier to mention than typing the word “sausage” into this God-awful search engine.

That is unless you like to bookmark all of his mentions of sausage.

He may not have invented the phrase, but the words didn’t become immortal until Rob said them. :slight_smile:

well in the immortal words of my ladle friend who heard them from his friend who heard them from some Giraffe–“enough already, slip her the sausage”

of course it might be mangled in the retelling, but you get the gist :slight_smile: