I’m Grossbottom, and I approve this message. Also, all msmith537 advice seconded.
Dude, just eye the ass of the first betty that walks by your table and get caught doing it. Her body language will tell you if your friend-type-thing wants to you to, as my best pal Rob in college said in those immortal words, slip her the sausage.
If they are clueless or playing games, walk away.
Just assume people say what they mean and mean what they say, and then act accordingly. They can play games on someone else’s time.
Why do people so desperately want to be in relationships with people who aren’t truthful?
If you are having trouble reading her, perhaps braille is in order?
If he can read her braille I think she’s into him.
Or maybe just needs a sweater.
Well, okay, I lied; I wouldn’t mind her as a friend – and that seems to be complicating things now. I mean, I enjoy hanging out with her regardless, but I would like for it to be something more – but now I’m hung up on the notion of making things weird. Ugh…
Well, thanks all for the tips. I don’t know how I’m going to work this out quite yet. I think I’m most concerned about making an ass out of myself, when perhaps she’s not giving off any signals at all. Of course, I now realize (thanks to all you guys) that this kind of thinking is exactly what’s holding me back from making this potentially something more. Damn my complete inexperience!
In short, I don’t know if I can pull off your guy’s advice without it coming across as awkward – but I guess I won’t know until I try it. What exactly that is, I don’t know yet. Hopefully I will soon.
Do or do not, there is no try. sausage?
I wish I could remember what my college friend said about situations like this.
Of course, I went to college in the 1920’s.
“Slip her the Death Ray”?
"Slip her the “1920’s style sausage.”
It’s like sex, but with all sorts of ridiculous metaphors.
“My nightstick was looking for some action. Her headlights were lookin’ right at me, but my eye was on her undercarriage. I put my hand on her starter, but she stalled, meanwhile I was overheating. I was hoping she would jump me, but she didn’t have any cables. I tried to get in her trunk, but she wouldn’t let me. I went to the gas station, and when I got back, the AAA guy had already given her a ride. Changing her fluids at this point was pointless, besides, that dipstick was really stuck in there.”
Dames. :rolleyes:
How about you slip her an 18 inch turd-brown double ended smoked sausage.
Oh my, what have I done?!
Wow, you must have been much more mature than most of us were in our early twenties. Playing games isn’t right, but cluelessness about how you feel about someone after only knowing him a month? That sounds pretty typical to me, even for people much older than the OP. He may well not be able to tell how she feels because she’s not even sure herself yet.
Sure of what? He wants to know if they are just friends. Are you saying that after a month you didn’t know if you had any romantic interest in people? That doesn’t agree with my own experience and perceptions. You might not know just how involved you want to be, but the OP isn’t looking to get married. He’s wondering if they’ve been going on “dates.”
“Hey, honey, what are you thinking about?”
“Oh, I was just remembering how hot your sister’s ass looked in those tight pants at the party last night, and then I guess I started daydreaming about her giving me a blowjob in the poolhouse.”
HONESTY. The cornerstone of every long-lasting relationship.
“I was wondering if you would be the one to find my porn if I died.”
Red Barchetta
In a past post, someone said that there are two ways to find out if a girl like you.
I’ve found this to be ironclad.
Or you could say “Coworker, you’re attracted to me. I’m taking you out”, while wearing a huge smile. If she says no, say “Don’t say no, say yes, I’m going to show you a fantastic time.” Tell her what you have in mind.
If she still says no, the answer is no…and by that point, you’ve shown enough confidence she won’t feel too bad about saying it.
I was good friends with my current boyfriend for two years before we hooked up. I had absolutely no romantic interest in him, even as he had a series of girlfriends and my friends asked why he and I had never dated, and would have felt very weird if he’d made a move any earlier than when he did. It probably would have ended our friendship, or at least made things awkward. The last thing I wanted was some guy who was just hanging around and pretending to find me charming just so he could get into my pants. After two years, I think I could safely feel it was not a ruse. That may seem like an eternity for some guys, but as I mentioned, he had several relationships in the meantime. Also, I’m just that cute.
ETA: before this experience, I was a believer in the ‘first five minutes’ rule (as in, that’s how long it takes a woman to know if she’ll ever sleep with a guy). I thought friendships stayed friendships, never to morph into attraction. I was gladly proved wrong.
Nope. You lose, Cat XXXXX. Your current boyfriend is what we in the business call a “player”. You see, he was just pretending to be friends with you for those two years, waiting for the moment when he could slip you the kielbasa. Real men are like deep cover spies–they can wait for months or years, building your trust and feeding you information that checks out, and then you discover that “Aaron” is actually Konstantin Arkadyevich and he’s not from a little town in North XXXXXX but actually a little town called Vladivostok and you may have heard of it, after all.
Yes, you’ve been played.
If it makes you feel any better, we have thousands of brave young men of our own on both sides of the Urals, taking the fight to the enemy. Young men who are sacrificing the best years of their lives so that Yuliana Ivanovna will never know that her beloved Sasha is actually John Alexander from Cleveland, XXXX.
XXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXX the XX XXXXXXXX. X XXXXXX’X XXXXX XX XXXXXXXX, XXX something XXX XX be XXXX. XXXX, it XXXXX XXX XXXX XXXXXXX. XX XXXXX, XXXX’X XXX XXXXXXXXX.
Now if you’ll excuse me, XXXXXXX Hayden and I are having a heated discussion in the classifieds, and I really must get back to it. Normally I wouldn’t say anything about all this, but we’re all friends here.
XXXXXX
Sure, there are exceptions, though your story really isn’t an exception to what I was saying since you had no romantic interest in him at the time and knew it, so your answer to “are you into me?” would have been “no” instead of “I’m clueless and have no idea.”
Since the OP wants to know what’s going on, saying that her feelings may possibly change some time in the future doesn’t answer his question.
The way to find out if the girl is into him right now is by asking her. It won’t answer whether she might be into him a year from now, but there’s nothing that can answer that question.
And I don’t believe in a five minute rule, but they’ve spent more time together than that and if she doesn’t have any interest at the moment I’d think she would know that.