A good friend of mine is with a girl, he has been dating ehr for more than 6 months and they havent had sex yet. He wants to (of course he IS male) and so does she. But every time they get close and she says she wants to, she backs out. they both all get in the mood and then she exclaims " I hate this part" my friend wonders what part and she says, I dont know! Whats up with that? What should he do?
Hi Doux. I can’t tell you, but I can gently suggest that a more appropriate forum might be IMHO. GQ is usually reserved for questions with a factual answer, but you seem to be looking for opinions. Good luck.
What part is she pointing at when she says “I hate this part”?
Just a guess - maybe by “this part” she means the aspect of romantic relationships that involve actual sex with an actual human being who has thoughts and feeling and emtions that she can’t control.
Maybe she just hates the awkward first time. The first time can be a real drag.
Maybe the part where David Letterman goes to the Top 10 list? They should try having sex at other times during the evening.
Or, gee, I don’t know, talk about it?
She wont talk about it, they are both like 16… She wont be specific as to which part she hates and she sneaks over to his place like 3 nights a week but things always stop at the same point. Ummm Yea
IMHO, if it may be offered in GQ, is that neither of them are mature enough to handle sex and the inevitable aftermath. Not because of their age but because of how they seem to be handling the situation. She obviously isn’t ready but keeps inviting the situation where it must be confronted.
If she’s a virgin, perhaps she’s afraid of pain?
Here’s another guess about this young woman none of us have met. If she’s not comfortable with her body (pretty common in teenage girls,) she’s scared to take her clothes off, for fear he’ll see her as she does (too fat, too lumpy, too small here, too this, too that.)
Sounds like neither one of them is ready for what they are trying to accomplish.
Oh geez, I sound like my grandma.
Umm… none of that sounds quite right. She is a pretty thin girl with a bigger top. Both of them are ‘punks’. But thats not quitre the right word. He is a skater, she is just, well, Stevie. (thats her name)
Oh, yeah, definitely an IMHO thing.
Just cause she’s a pretty, thin girl with a bigger top doesn’t mean that she sees herself that way. Body image distortion is pretty common in young women.
And if I may offer a more general opinion, 16 year olds don’t make any damn sense. Whatever it is, she’ll figure it out eventually, but maybe not for a while.
At the risk of coming off as a fuddy duddy, an old fogey, a parent of a teenager… there are almost NO 16 year olds that are mature enough to be having sex. Which is quite likely why she is having these attitudes. And, at the risk of sounding harsh, their sex life is really none of your business, and next time he asks you for advice I would remind him of that. Adults who have sexual problems often go to a professional, but of course, a professional is likely to tell a 16 year old to zip it up.
Too bad their parents didn’t tell them what I have told my son over and over - there are many many ways to get mutual gratification without intercourse.
That’s just my humble opinion, of course, if I can answer that way in GQ - why is this in GQ anyway?
On preview I see this has been moved, so I stand by this answer without fear of breaking board rules!
Haha, odd… I know a Stevie, who’s punkish, and is about 16… heh.
If I had to hazard a guess, having been a 16 yr old girl before, she could very well be referring to the having to decide if she’s ready yet to have sex yet…
Hi YMwife. Thanks for the input. I hadn’t looked at it hat way at all. I hope it helps the OP.