EmAnJ, go with whatever works to get yourself into treatment. As Qadgop said, getting sober rarely does bad things to your career or reputation.
Also a side note. When I first got sober being an alkie was a huge secret. My family and friends knew but no one else did. I got my present job when I was 4 months or so clean and I was scared shitless that they would find out and it would cause problems.
These days it isn’t a big deal. I don’t run around yelling to the world that I am a recovering alkie (well, except for message boards) but if it comes up I tell people. My parents and family had the same issue at first, they didn’t want to tell their friends. But an odd thing happened. Once I let people know a) I got a lot of ‘Right on, congrats!’ from people and b) a whole lot of people responded with ‘My brother/sister/father/mother/etc is a recovering alcoholic’. There are more of us out there than you would think. I guess what I am trying to say is that when I first got sober admitting I was an alcoholic was shameful. These days it isn’t shameful, it is a fact. As long as I stay sober there is no shame involved.
At this point, though, you need to worry about getting yourself sober and figuring out how to stay clean, not what other people think.
I’m starting Day 3 sober! I feel great this morning.
I decided last night that I need to keep a journal. It was very tough for me last night between about 6 pm and 8 pm, which is when I start drinking most often, but I made it through. By bed time the craving had passed and I felt so good about myself that I figured I should write these feelings down to remind myself how it feels.
Ditto on this. Recently I was telling someone a story where the fact that I’m recovering was a plot element, and though he’s known me for a few years, he was “shit, no kidding, you’re recovering – I didn’t know that!” and it was just kind of funny that it was so totally incidental, to both of us, to the story I was telling.
Day 4! I’m doing all right. I spoke with my father last night (he was the last immediate family member I had to tell) and he’s very supportive, of course. He actually admitted that he might drink more then me on a weekly basis. His tolerance is higher, of course, but that’s still a problem obviously. I think I really got him to think about his alcohol problem too.
Last night was tough again, but I had already arranged to go out for coffee with a close friend during the toughest hours and made it through. I told her what was going on and she told me to call her 24/7 if I needed a diversion. I also brought up that I might be interested in volunteering in her class during my days where I don’t have treatment (she teaches grade 1/2) and she was super excited about that. I think it’ll be a great diversion.
So now I’ve told everyone I need to tell immediately. That makes me REALLY accountable to a LOT of people, which is good. I don’t want to relapse.
Today I am also seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. This morning on the train to work (probably my last day for a while) and I could actually envision the rest of my life without alcohol. I decided I just have to find another way to get that ‘high’, be it running, biking, climbing, anything. I want to participate in a dualathon (biking and running) this fall, but with booze in my life I would never have trained like I should. Once I’m done with the treatment I think I’m going to make that my next goal.
The fiance is as supportive as ever, but we have a lot of stuff to work though, especially his trust issues with me. That will take a while, but I think we’re both in it for the long haul.
My family has its share of alcoholics and addicts. That you have made the conscious decision to work to transcend your alcoholism earns you the respect and admiration of those of us who have been through it with our loved ones. And I’ll join in the chorus of those who have already said that one day at a time is the best way to approach it.
I don’t really have much to add – it’s just that when I see a Doper going through hard stuff, I know from personal experience that every supportive post is appreciated. Good for you, EmAnJ, and good for your boyfriend.
I was a remedial moron in elementary school, so I’m all too familiar with half grade, second-and-a-half grade and fifth-and-a-half grade.
But keeping busy is good. You’ll soon realize (if you’ve not already) that you have MANY hours previously dedicated to drinking and recovery that must now be filled with… anything other than drinking.
Oh, I don’t mean a half grade, I mean she teachs a class of grade 1’s and grade 2’s mixed!
I agree with the keeping busy. There was about an hour last night where I didn’t have anything to do. I’m not a TV person at all, so I didn’t know what to do with myself. I ended up having a long shower and going to bed early.
I also just wanted to add that an added bonus of this is that I’m dropping pounds FAST! I think I’ve already lost about 5 lbs. so far.
I’m not overweight by any means, but over the last year or so, when my drinking really got bad, I’ve gained about 20 - 25 lbs. and am chubby. Add onto that a history of Eating Disorders (another story in itself) and poor body image and the last couple of years was hell on the psyche.
You’ll start to find that the “distractions” you need to keep from drinking become less distracting and you’ll become truly passionate about those things. You are going to like your sober self. I guarantee that. You’ll love that woman who doesn’t need to drink and you’ll be amazed at what she can accomplish when alcohol isn’t dragging her down.
Don’t allow that to happen. Getting sober was the best thing I’ve ever did. If I would have had to give up my humor to get there I might not have made it.
I’ve broken every sarcasm meter they’ve ever intalled on the board. I still believe I may have caused the “Winter of our Missed Content.”
This happens to just about everyone I have seen get and stay sober. Take away all those carbs from the alcohol breaking down in your system…replace them with a healthy diet and exercise and LOOK OUT!
I found having candy around helped cravings and quelled my immediate need for that high. And because alcohol breaks down into sugars, this is a help that can be needed as your body readjusts.
Remember to stay in the day - it’s very difficult to do at first - and it’s not universal advice as a lot of things must be planned.
Staying in the day helped me greatly when I went through my first summer day…When I would normally have a corona with lime, I had my diet pepsi. You’ll go through a lot of firsts.
I am so happy to see you talking candidly about it - remember as you go through your process you will be tested at first a lot - and that will diminish with time. Can I ask if you are doing a 90 in 90?
