I don’t give hints, I say stuff like “Get the hell away from me before I knock you into next week.” There’s no hinting. 
I’m thinking of opening a bar based on this whole theme–I don’t know what to call it yet, but I’m sure someone here will have a suggestion or two. Ladies drink free as long as there’s a chance they’ll hook up with another girl, and men have to pay for drinks, but they’ll come in anyway.
The Lesbo-A Go-Go? 
Replace with 
and add a :smack: for good measure. 
All the waitresses are going to wear shirts that say “Instant Lesbian–Just Add Tequila.”
Good! As it should be.
Well, I’ve always wanted a bar named either High Spirits or Don’t Look, Ethyl - but those aren’t great fits for this.
Ooh! Ooh! Alcoholics Androgynous?
gasp You’re brilliant.* Just for that, you can be the bartender.
Ten minutes ‘til quittin’ time. Then I’m gonna go get drunk …
…or maybe I’ve started drinking already–don’t drink and code, people! Just don’t do it!!!
waiting 60 seconds
Go!
You’re right; that’s a real show stopper.
Wow, now I can turn girls into lesbians with the power of alcohol! As opposed to the usual way, with my sparkling personality.
I can’t believe my idea rated the special boldtalic tags.
I’m not so sure. In the first place there is nothing about “homosexual” that limits it to gay men. In the second place I think this sounds more official, which goes with the warning sign motif. In the third, and most important, place this wording alllows you to market it to a wider audience and thus make more money.
Dear SDMB,
I never believed the posts I read on your board were real. But last weekend, I was out drinking with my girlfriends…
Gosh… I live 18 miles from the Northern New Jersey border…
–wipes perspiration from brow suddenly–
What???
Cartooniverse
( it’s not a complete non-sequitor, her location is north jersey )
Blessed are the two-beer queers, for they are a source of eternal hope…
goes to get drunk at CandidGamera’s new bar, buys herself a tequila
But the ladies drink free!