Two Trouts for every boy.
Jan and Dean.
I kissed a drunk girl on the lips
and with my hands I squeezed her hips
I kissed a drunk girl, it’s no sham
I’m getting lucky, Sam I am!
With apologies to Dr. Seuss
Well, it’s not a universal phenomenon, you shouldn’t expect every girl you meet to hook up with her best friend just because you gave them each a Zima. Also, I have never been party to hot-hot-girl-on-girl action in the office, at a fast-food drive-thru, or in an alley behind a bar. No, wait. Scratch the bar part and replace it with “in an airplane bathroom” or something.
But, to be honest, if I’m drunk enough that I forget I’m heterosexual, odds are that I’m also drunk enough to forget that I’d be self-conscious with people watching and scribbling down their Forum letters right then and there. 
why not *none[/n] of their teeth?
[Homer Simpson]
Mmmmm, gum job…
[/Homer Simpson]
Once I saw Jordan kissing a drunk girl: I think she was a punk rock princess from Poughkeepsie.
Well if you see Jordan in Cavanaugh Park, tell him about the straw dog. Oh, and beware of the hurricane.
. . . said Eliza Doolittle in her new upper-class accent to the Duchess of Transylvania. Professor Higgens then ran her through with his walking stick.
I think i might have done this. I can’t remember getting into her place, but I did wake up there, with no pants. Also my back was sore. That must’ve been one INSANE party
Thank you sir, for the best laugh I’ve had all damn day. Got me to clap and all!
But those are the first to go!
Better than giving you the clap. 
flamingb- a few months ago, you made a comment about being propostiioned by guys which resulted in people here giving you advice about buying intimate toys. Now you tease us by quoting lyrics about kissing other girls…
You want to see us in jail &/or Hell, don’cha?! G
I got it, jjimm
“when it’s sunny outside…”
<the count>I’ve only ever drunk kissed girls…bleh, bleh</the count>
So How YOU Doin?
You show a remarkable talent for tee shirt design. Have you considered it as a career option?
I just wanted to add that I’m immensely enjoying reading this thread.
Oh, and… apropos of nothing:
[Leslie]Good luck. We’re all counting on you. [/Nielsen]
I’m somewhat disappointed in you. I’d expected some serious innuendo by now.
When my best friend bought a t-shirt that says “My Killer Robot Skullfucked Your Honor Student,” I realized that I could never come up with anything better, and decided to give it all up. 
Cut to the quick! No, I refrained for two reasons - one, it’s hard to turn drunken lesbian kissing into more than a single entendre… single and a half, maybe… and secondly, after the NaNoWriMoDoWahDiddy thread exchanges, I felt I might be bordering on harassment, so I decided to back off a bit.
Nah, it’s not actually harrassment until I tell you to stop.
I’ll keep that in mind, then. I try to be cautious because I tend to be hint-oblivious.
May I then offer another humble t-shirt suggestion :
Front : Liquor?
Back : How’d she taste?