It would probably give me a boner and a tickle in my belly… not necessarily in that order.
Not unless there were other significant details (sending it to my work email, for instance).
It depends precisely on the attractiveness of the woman.
She’s already said, even with the dripping penis incident, that she would date him “in a heartbeat” if only he wasn’t a complete fucking loser.
Come learn with me, young padawan. It will cost you an extra large diet cherry limeade from Sonic.
This made me chuckle out loud - you really do have a way with words. 
I try. 