I’m tired, and immediately thought of, “That’ll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!” But that could just completely break the mood if anyone recognized it (and someone will).
A lich is a powerful undead creature, often a wizard with unnaturally prolonged life who cannot be destroyed unless you can find and destroy their phylactery. The term is never used in Harry Potter, but that’s basically what Voldemort was. Only he had seven phylacteries called horcruxes.
Sport, Sport, masculine sport.
Equips a young man for society.
Yes, sport turns out a jolly good sort.
It’s an odd boy who doesn’t like sport.
“Never send a fish to do a woman’s job.”
“Never send a fish to ride a woman’s velocipede.”
“Never send a fish C.O.D. to Denmark.”
“Never send a fish a love letter meant for a bird.”
“Never send a fish to the desert when an ass will do.”
“Never send a fish a you mean to catch a ten for twenty.”
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bisexual.
Huh. Now that I think of it, it does ring a bell. Good excuse to watch Below Zero again!
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make it think- attributed to Dorothy Parker.
Looks like the web’s on the other foot.
Like a cat toying with a mouse in its web.
“We ought to make the pie higher.”
Take a guess
And the classic - She was only a stableman’s daughter, but all the horsem’n knew 'er.
Aha! Ignorance fought! 
For all intensive porpoises…
Its better to have lusted and lost than to have lusted alone
That was the sheriff. He wants us to round up a little pussy.
Hang on while I call my secretary, Miss Lingus. Hello, Connie?
I’m going home and don my gay apparel.
I am not racist! Some of my best Negroes are friends!
Ah, yes. The Bald German, by Herr Less. A classic!
What’s black with three legs? [Awkward silence] Why, a piano, of course!
Hmmm. Sounds like a mighty risqué venture to me.
These were said by a co-worker:
Don’t make a molehill out of nothing.
It’s more than the eye meets.
I used to say, “Vaya con queso.” (“Go with cheese.”)
If your biscuits look pink, maybe you’re cruller blind.
When you’re running away from something, never ever look back. Whatever it is, it’s catching up!
How do they get eight great tomatoes in that little bitty can?* :dubious: 
*Granted, you have to be of a certain age cohort to get this one. 
Carne con queso, mmmmmmmm! :o
I once knew a nearsighted seamstress. She couldn’t mend straight.
Don’t but both your eggs in one sack.