I put my wife in jail today.

So it was a normal fucking morning at the Nader homestead. After I took my son to school, I had to deal with a crazy woman waving a knife around.

Done with that.

Walked over to the gas station and called the cops.

They picked her up, in my car, passing through the next town over, a little later.

I don’t know what to do now. PD were very nice to me.

Yikes. Is she mentally ill? I’m thinking yes? I’m torn between “you have an obligation to stand by her in sickness and in health, for better and for worse” and “get the fuck out of there!” And I’m sure you are, too. Whatever you decide to do, good luck with that. Counseling is good.

Lawyer. Lawyer lawyer lawyer. When men go up against women in domestic abuse, you’re lucky they didn’t put YOU in a police car. Edited for clarification: I mean that the systems are weighted heavily in favour of women, not that you did anything to warrant being arrested.

I’m so sorry to hear that this is going on in your life.

That’s pretty rough on you and the boy. Sorry, friend.

You say this or something akin to it happens fairly regularly now? Has she seen a doctor, been diagnosed, taking medication or anything?

I was in a police car. I walked over to the station to see if I could talk to her, and they gave me a ride home.

Well, okay, that beats me crappy day by a mile.

Jesus. Sorry to hear this, Darth Nader. (Well, that’s just a pathetically lame understatement.)

I hope ultimately this leads to a better situation for you. It sounds like things must have been pretty miserable for a while.

We live one block away from our town’s jail. I can look out my living room window and see the building she’s in right now.

That’s EXACTLY why they gave me a ride home.


Wow, how long has this been going on?

Yep - that’s the first thing that comes to mind: what is the context? Is this another thread in a line of threads where you’ve outlined the challenges you have been facing?

Either way, it sounds awful for you - and, depending on what led her to waving a knife around, it sounds awful for her, too, let alone your son.

I hope you see a path to a better place from here.

Damn. I thought this was one of those light-hearted fundraiser things where you can have someone “jailed” for stupid things and they have to pay money to get out, etc.

I hope you are safe and able to formulate some next steps to keep yourself safe. What do you suppose you will tell your son?

Do they do mandatory 72 hour psych holds where you’re at? It’s called the Baker Act here and is often used as a verb. It sounds like that might be more helpful than having her sit in jail.

My brother had similar issues with his ex, she’d attack and abuse him but it took the cops a few calls to believe that she was the problem. When she turned on the cops they finally Baker Acted her and that led to a longer commitment where she got help for her mental issues. It also enabled my brother to get out of the marriage and get custody of the kids.

Good luck.

Damn. What an awful day. I’m missing some history here I’m sure; in the Christmas day thread I got the impression that she might be bipolar?

While you absolutely do need to protect yourself and your son, if she’s got a doctor it’d be a decent idea to phone the doctor to notify him/her of this.

I hope your wife is able to get the help she needs to live a more sane life, and I hope you’re able to get a more sane life yourself.

Hugs and well wishes from us.

I’m going to be nosy.

So what are you going to do? Are you going to divorce her and take the children? Are you going to stick through the abuse for the children? Is the marriage salvageable? Am I asking too many questions?

Well, MOL, those are the same questions I have. Plus:
I looked at the othre thread and a few related ones, and it seems like this has been relatively recent behavior. Is that true? has she received any psychiatric treatment? Have you received any support?

It’s interesting that mental illness is where many people are going with this. If Darth Nader was a woman posting this about her husband, I don’t think that would be the case.

Anyway, I hope that you can fine safety and peace, Darth, and that you get a fair outcome out of this. Also, I think you did the right thing, especially for your child.

I dunno C3, we might be asking more about a brain tumor if MrsNader was a MrNader. But given that she’s not always like this, I think it’s more mental illness than systematic abuse.

The bit about the knife does make me want to scream “get the kid and get out you idiot!” like Darth Nader’s a co-ed about to take a night time hike to look at the lake, but there’s not much I can make him do over the internet.

Are you suggesting that abusive men aren’t mentally ill?
It’s hard to tell exactly what is going on here since Darth is being very vague about it, but most of the time when people pick up a knife in a domestic situation without any apparent provocation, I would feel comfortable assuming the problem is either mental illness or alcohol/drugs.

The “stop being crazy moments” line in the other thread was what made me assume that it’s possibly/quite likely mental illness. Considering that she’s broken his foot by running over it with the car already, I’d say that calling the cops is a good step but not sufficient. Something has to happen, and it ought to involve a lawyer and/or a doctor - and quickly, before she’s released from jail.