Christ, It’s midnight already!
SSG Schwartz
Wait a second. Do you wear jeans?
It just goes to show you don’t fuck with the Lone Ranger.
Cabin boy, fetch my brown pants.
Sometimes the bull wins.
The last time I did this, I didn’t have holes in my feet.
DEATH BY SNOO SNOO!!!
You sure are a mean drunk, Mr. Kent.
I’m not sure I understand the direction this thread is taking. In case the OP would like some serious responses, I’ll take one on:
What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
I’ll contribute one. Years ago, I regularly listened to some “funny” DJ who would do mock horoscopes. One of his entries went something like this: “Only a Pisces would laugh out loud at this punchline: ‘Can I do it until I need glasses?’”
I’m a Pisces. I laughed out loud.
Nate the snake?
Taking the thread seriously:
A camel walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender sets the beer down in front of him and says"We don’t get many camels in here. That’ll be $20."
I’ve painted a lot of houses, but do they call me Bob the painter? No. I’ve given money to the poor, but do they call me Bob the philanthropist? No…
Heavenly Golf Punchlines
No, that IS Jesus, he just thinks he’s Tiger Woods.
Dad! Quit showing off!
The bad news is WE have a tee time Thursday morning.
Yes, now how about the rest of the joke? 
Mom! I’m working here!
Yeah, Gabriel, but who’s he gonna tell?
You think you have it bad? Every time I stand up, they put a sack over my head, shove me in a damp hole and make me do pushups till I throw up!
Paint my house.
“Damn it, horse, I said bring POSSE!”
Why do they call camels “ships of the desert”?
“Peter, I can see your house from up here!”
“No, you’re going to eat me, just like it says in the book.”
“‘Nein! Nein!’ So two left.”
Hey, lady! Your sign fell down!
“I forgot my pencil.”
I consider this the punchline:
“Fry: Good-bye, friends. I never thought I would die like this. But I’d always really hoped!”
I posted this in the New Amsterdam thread in CS
[Hijack] In episode 2 when he goes to the morgue, the morgue attendant (doctor?) tires to tell him three jokes. He starts each joke and our hero fills in the punch line before the joke is finished. Presumably because at 400 years old he has heard them all before. OK, fine. I knew the first and third jokes, but I do not know the 2nd joke.
I think the set up was:
A priest a doctor, and a vet walk into a bar.
The punch line was:
Sue the duck.
Can anybody supply the missing parts of the joke?[/hijack]
This is driving me crazy, I want to know the rest of the joke.
My mother-in-law knows there is a joke where the punchline is “mole asses” but does not know the joke.
It is probably a pun on “molasses” but we don’t know how the pun would be set up.
-FrL-