I could carry your ass in a bucket
Around an’ around I’d carry and fuck it
Damn girl, if you’d let me
You’d never forget me
All pbbth could say was, “Dude! Suck it!”
That’s awesome… laughing out loud.
I love you! 
All that and no mention of an island south of Cape Cod? Shameful!
Let’s see…
The once was a man from the Vineyard
Uh…
Who worked his ass off as a lobstahman
So he could keep up with his mortgage payment
On his tiny cottage in Chilmark
(True story! I met the guy!)
That reminds me of my favorite limerick:
There once was a young man from Crewe,
Who went in a rowboat, to row.
A girl in a skiff
Put an oar in his eye
And now he has to wear glasses.
Yesterday, some guy asked me, “Hey, can I stand under your umbrella with you?” I originally just kind of looked at him strangely, but then he attempted to smile some encouragement at me, so I shot a quick, fake smile at him. Might have been a better line if he weren’t walking next to me with an open umbrella.
Is there like a whole genre of limericks like this? Here’s one I remember:
There once was a man from St. Bees,
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
When asked, “Does it hurt?”
He replied, “No, it doesn’t,
I’m so glad it wasn’t a hornet.”
Once there’s a walrus from ‘tucket
Who says “I has a Bucket!”
But walrus was slow
and screamed out "nooooo
they be stealin’ my bucket!"
It was my idea.
I think this is a “clean” version of the equally clean:
There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in a lake
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her ear
And said “you can’t swim here, it’s private.”
Years ago a friend made these up.
There once was a young girl named Brill
Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil
There once was a young girl named Lucy
Who shoved a dynamite stick up her pussy
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil
There once was a young girl named Lotti
Who shoved a dynamite stick up her twatty
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil
And an excellent idea it was! I am sorry I could not work in Robot Arm into pbbth’s rhyme.
The babe with a Robot Arm
Never meant a bit of harm
her perfect vibrations
led to such titillations
she set off a five-bell alarm
Then I love you too! 
It just occurred to me that in a disturbing, meta sort of way…that limerick is now *my *most successful pickup line ever.
I was outside a friend’s house a few years ago, waiting for traffic so I could cross the street to go to Burger King. I don’t remember the actual pickup line, but I think it was something like “Hey, baby, you busy tonight” (or something equally classy). I turned around toward the voice, and saw a clown, full white-face and all, in a crappy-ass car.
I turned away again & ignored him, but it was worth it to be able to go back into my friend’s house and say “I just got hit on by some clown” - and not be exaggerating!
That’s awesome. Totally using it.
You are very hilarious.
Thanks.
What does it say that strange pick-up lines bring out the best in me?
We might have stumbled onto a little something here that could be worked and tweaked into a very beneficial thing for you Robot Arm.