Trump brings more than 10 items through the express lane. And he tries to use expired coupons.
Not like he was busy, Bat Boy was just hanging around.
Donald Trump thinks climate change is a myth created by the Chinese, and that the Chinese are a myth created by CNN.
Donald Trump’s libido is so out of control his webpages are stuck together.
Donald Trump’s tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, they also cause heart attacks and strokes.
The only resource on earth as inexhaustible as Trump’s vigor is the fakestream media.
It turns out that Victoria’s secret is that Donald Trump once paid her to pee on him.
Trump can cause grown people to cry in 140 characters or less.
-When Donald Trump was in kindergarten, he told all of his classmates that Santa wasn’t real.
-Donald Trump wears black socks with sandals.
-Donald Trump uses Internet Explorer.
-When Donald Trump takes his dog for a walk, he doesn’t bother to clean up the dog’s poop.
-Donald Trump double parks.
-Donald Trump’s favorite font is Comic Sans.
No, he told him Santa’s real, just he likes him better than them.
Too much physical exertion. False.
He learned to drive when he had a chauffeur his whole life? False.
With the energy expended by playing 18 holes of golf, Trump could make nine adorable puppies happy with excellent walks.
Trump knows this, and has his People bring a cramped cage of nine adorable puppies along on the links, so he can sneer in their heartbreakingly sweet little faces as he golfs.
Trump is correct that Health care is complex. After all half the numbers in his health care proposal are imaginary.
Trump has signed an executive order making math jokes funny.
Donald Trump has a copyright on the phrase “You kidding me? Let’s get outta here!” with which he has been able to extract millions from Hollywood every time they use it in a movie.
Donald Trump can eat a whole pizza in 15 minutes, using a knife and fork.
Donald Trump has counted to ten billion. Twice. But not on his tax returns.
Donald Trump doesn’t cheat Death. Death has never been one of his business partners.
Donald Trump has larger than normal-sized hands; they just look small compared to his ego.
Donald Trump doesn’t sleep. He Tweets.
When Donald Trump was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: “What is courage?” He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with a stack of twenties on it.
Donald Trump will make Mexico pay for a border wall by simply staring at Mexico until they ignore him.
Wouldn’t that required to be cosined by Pence?
I mean, that’s his function, right?
[ul]
[li] In 1945, The Onion declared Trump “Sexiest Man Alive”.[/li][li]Trump ranks 5th in the World at Super Mario Brothers[/li][li]Trump invented the hamburger[/li][li]Translated into Rotokas ‘Trump’ means: “Snickers Bar”[/li][li]Trump has donated a kidney three times.[/li][/ul]
Derivative.
Donald Trump’s cholesterol level is ‘Porridge’.
Donald Trump looks like the kind of guy who’d pay to kill a homeless guy during the purge.
Here’s some Bannon ones (we can make fun of Bannon here too, right?)
Steve Bannon looks like the kind of guy who’s memorised the age of consent in every state in America, and every country in the world.
Steve Bannon looks like the kind of guy who thinks classy pornography is that which only involves one horse.
Steve Bannon looks like the kind of guy who, by law, has to remain at least 500 yards away from the girl who played Eleven in Stranger Things.
Steve Bannon looks like the kind of guy who made his money selling Trump those homeless guys.
Steve Bannon looks like the kind of guy who could be cast to play the King of the Potato People in the movie of a forgotten Tolkien story.
In his kindergarten production of Snow White, Steve Bannon was cast as ‘Sleazy, the forgotten dwarf’.
Trump has had more divorces than all the other US Presidents put together. And more affairs. And more unacknowledged children. And caused more abortions.
Donald Trump doesn’t like SEC Football.