…that magic button on its underbelly that makes its leg kick when you pet him.
I’m here to chew bubblegum and kick a$$, and…
…I’ve kicked so much ass already that I’m getting bored of it. Want some Winterfresh?
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins! He’s only three feet tall…
…so he’s easy to fit in overhead compartments on airplanes!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s…
. . . a-messy.
Then I saw her face . . .
And now I’m forever scarred.
Into every life…
…some rain must fall, unless you live here in New Mexico where we have a five year drought and it doesn’t rain, just sprinkles enough to make your car look filthy and it gets hotter and hotter every day and the lawn is brown and needs to be watered again and what about the flowerbeds and … what? oh sorry.
For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these…
…“We’re out of Cheez-its.”
The only way to discover the limits of the possible…
… is to break something.
I met a traveller from and antique land, who said …
“I knew I should have listened when they said ‘Don’t drink the water.’ Ozymandias indeed.”
“*&$$%!! Why don’t you do things like we do back home?! Are you all stupid or what?”
I killed him and used his hide to line my treasure room.
Do your ears hang down? Do they make the neighbours…?
frown? Do they make you look like a big scary clown?
The most important investment you will ever make is…
… in Emekthian Industries Inc. So invest. It’s important, really. C’mon, invest. You know you want to. Invest! I need your money!
A diamond is a girl’s…
… best friend, unless you count the Hitachi Magic Wand.
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, give me your …
…honest opinion: does this toga make my ass look big?
We the People, in order to form a more perfect…
Beach Party, do hereby open this here case of Corona.
If I could talk to the animals…
…I’d command the fell birds and beasts to form an powerful unholy army under my control, and I’d tell the pigeons to STOP CRAPPING ON MY CAR!
An infinate number of monkey, on an infinate number of typewriters and given an infinate amount of time could…
…create a stink you would not believe.
If the van’s a-rockin’…
Please respect the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign on the door.
It’s no use crying over…
…the fact that you drank two big bottles of wood alcohol.
Luck, if you ever were a lady to begin with…
…then be a lady tonight. In my bed. In the form of Jeri Ryan.
If I had a nickel for every time…