. . . someone used that damned saying “If I had a nickel. . .”, I’d be so frickin rich that Bill Gates would be my shoeshine boy.
And God said, "Let there be . . . "
…pie when come back, and there was. And Weebl and Bob smiled, for it was good.
Love is like oxygen, if you get too much…
…you’re gonna need some penecillin.
If I had a hammer…
…head shark in my swimming pool, I could invite the inlaws over for a game of walk the plank.
Yo, Ho, Ho, and
Santa Claus has done a runner with the Christmas fairy.
He who fights and runs away…
…may fall victim to a (ba-dum) 1920s-style death ray. In the back.
Yes I said yes I will…
…as soon as the commercials come on. Now pipe down, this is a good part.
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary…
…for the SEC to start asking for indictments in dodgy investment scheme cases, emekthian flies Cayman Island Air Services[sup]TM[/sup], serving the finest extrdition-proof locales since 1988.
I’ve got you under my…
car but I swear, it was an accident, and completely coincidental that you just named me your insurance beneficiary.
(Would be nice if I added one, huh?)
Some things, money can’t buy… for everything else…
Just wait until you can afford it. Why do you think every other TV ad. is for a loan company??
The darkest hour is just before…
The darkest hour is just before…
An hour that’s lighter than it.
If you cut me, do I not…
Decimate you with my trusty samurai sword?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper, where’s…
. . . the quart of crunchy qumquats Queen Connie quickly cashed?
A vote for me is . . .
(Would you believe, “cached”? Friday just doesn’t come early enough for me any more.)
A vote for equal rights for all moose-kind.
On the first day of Xmas my true love gave to me …
A vote for me is . . .
about as useful as tits on a nun, since I’m not on the ballot.
For every star in the heavens …
there exists a person who doesn’t get the -gry puzzle.
A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a…
(Oh and BJMoose, I was all excited there, thinking kumquats were some new currency. Dunno why though, since I don’t have any kumquats to my name either)
…Divorce papers, cleverly disquised as a subscription renewal to Maxim magazine.
…well, actually, it’s not really a kingdom per se,…it’s actually more of a Duchy, really…well, sort of a semi-incorporated territory just south of the - hello? Anybody there?
Every time a bell rings…
and you open the door chances are it will either be a salesperson or a Jehovah’s Witness.
“Opportunity knocks but…”