…child with as jaundiced an eye as you can. They are not to be trusted.
Heavy lies the head that…
…has shit for brains.
A closed mind is like…
…“dude, like, why am I so closed? I’m totally suffocating in here! I’ve got to break free! Where’s the bong?”
If you’re happy and you know it…
[QUOTE=Rufus XavierIf you’re happy and you know it…[/QUOTE]
… kindly keep it to yourself, I’m trying to be misserable over here.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies …
In Siberia.
The grass is always greener on …
The grass is always greener on… the part where the cow craps.
Miss Polly had a dolly…
As big as her, by golly
She filled it air
When her baby wasn’t there
and proceed to get her jollys
Wine, women and…
before ya know it, we got us a shotgun weddin’.
Whenever you feel lonely, just remember…
. . . your hand is always at hand.
When all else fails . . .
…just kill yourself. End it all right then and there, 'cause it ain’t gonna get any better.
Do unto others…
…is our new National Motto!
Old MacDonald had a…
couple of tacky golden arches.
Give a dog a bad name and…
you’ll end up looking stupid standing in your front yard and hollering it all over the neighborhood.
One sure way to end a friendship is…
With “p.” Either the letter “p,” or with a nice refreshing whizz on your soon-to-be-ex-friend’s leg.
Olly, olly oxen…
are no fun on a pub crawl … they never buy a round.
Every dog has his …
…tendency to annoy non-dog-owners.
If you’ve got it, …
bitch.
The only thing we have to fear…
…just think how good you’d feel if you shared it. I don’t need much.
The only thing we have to fear…
is that 1920’s style death ray (i think - I should really research that before I reference it)
An apple a day…
…keeps elderly Broadway composers away.
Anyone for…
sex, drugs and rock’n roll [not necessarily in that order]
Every good boy deserves …