I want to learn how to do spiritual warfare. Are there online classes I can take?
I think Dion Fortune wrote a book on it called Psychic Self Defense, but she was on the other side than these fruit loops
I plan to sacrifice a fat groundhog to the goddess of central Ohio so that everyone will vote for Obama. Do I drape the entrails over my neighbor’s McCain/Palin sign, or is that over the top?
I’d offer private lessons for a nominal fee.
If you’re truly interested.
Well, given recent history, If you’re going to do the entrail draping thing, match (at least) the weight of the dead animal that was thrown onto that college campus by the McCain supporters, in hedgehogs.
Then plaster Central Ohio’s McCain/Palin signs with entrails.
Then, for every thirteenth sign, use the hedgehog corpses to create Last Supper, Nativity and Crucifixion scenes.
Wait. Is this sympathetic magic, or psychological warfare?
Not that there’s a difference, really.
ETA, I’d deploy the Dead Hedgehog dioramas on the steps of Republican Party offices.
Why would genetically-engineered winged flame-spewing venom-fanged necrotizing-fasciitis-spreading monkeys need howitzers? Or, for that matter, WANT them? They attack from the air, after all.
What kind of question is that? They want them for the same reason that everyone wants howitzers. To howitz, man; to howitz. Monkeys have a natural aptitude for howitzing.
Haven’t you ever heard of howitzer monkeys?
You’ll pay this, Spider-Man. Oh, how you’ll pay.
Last night I spoke on the phone to a close friend and asked her if she was the witch who’s casting spells against McCain and Palin. She said it wasn’t her, so I asked her if she would please start doing so. 'Cause what, it’s okay for the nutcases to pray to their god, but it’s unfair for her to use her god/dess? Pish-posh.
And didn’t the Bible make a whole big point about how God is the ONE TRUE GOD and everyone else is wasting their time on false idols? I’m baffled and amused by the fact that these Christian wackos not only believe in witchcraft, but apparently believe that it’s as strong or stronger than their God.
I like how it ended suddenly with “end of excerpt”, like a “Seacrest out” thing.(Or at least that’s how I read it). I’m going to start using that all the time, maybe even while speaking- “See you tomorrow, end of excerpt!”
I don’t need an engineer to tell me that a monkey with a howitzer on its head is dangerously overloaded and seriously NOT aerodynamic.
Then there’s the whole ammunition issue.
Unless we’re talking Gigantic Flying Howitzer Apes. Then we’re cool. 
The AC-130 gunship can be fitted with howitzers, so there’s no reason that flying monkeys could not also be fitted with howitzers.
Ah, my apologies. And the howitzers would definitely affect the aerodynamics of the flight plans.
But alas, so far, my skies are only darkened with clouds threatening cold precipitation. Unless the monkeys are what’s darkening the clouds.
Whoa, talk about your slippery slopes!
Using Vaseline or KY?
Pfff… this is the internet.
Everyone uses Spit. Duh.
Let me say there are a good many conservative Christians, even of the Fund’ist, Evang & Charis/Pentie persuasions, who regard this bunch at InJesus.com as fruitcakes.
Oh… well, that’s reassuring!
removes head from noose, turns off gas oven, puts razor blade back into drawer
Which begs the question, “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen monkey?”