Since I assume I am one of “they,” let me just say that anybody is free to regale any message with anything about me they wish.
I assume there are many people who don’t care for me, for many reasons, and it doesn’t bother me if they’re shared.
obfusciatrist is kind of a pill. But also entertaining!
You are correct only so far as the severity of the statements themselves goes. The net effect is much different. The pitted non-member is unlikely to ever have to see the vitriol aimed at them, and more importantly, it isn’t coming from people they regularly interact with nor does it take place somewhere they enjoy spending time.
Yes, it may be more inappropriate. It may be more likely to hurt someone’s feeling, but I’d hardly say it is meaner.
If I say that my sister is a whorish cow lacking even the intelligence of a moderately-sized rock, is it any less mean simply because I know she won’t find out I said it?
I would suggest that it is also equally inappropriate to say such things, even here. But it is easier for us all to enjoy the ranting of others when we can presume ourselves safe from being the target.
“Tee hee,” we can say, “he called some stranger an asshat worthy of torture and possible death. But ack! This one says he doesn’t like a Doper! Civilization is surely crumbling when such inhumanity to our fellow man can be evidenced.”
**Yes.
I’m honestly puzzled that an adult person finds this difficult to understand.
Some of the things said in this thread appall me. I fail to comprehend how people can callously insult a man they have actually met in front of tens of thousands of others, some of whom have also met the man.
For shame.
I think it may be worthy of more discussion, but not with the side effect of keep this thread alive. May I suggest we continue any dialogue here?
Like when he quoted me and then stuck in a [sic] to point out I’d forgotten the space between per and se in per se.
Oh, that Zenster. Good times, those were. I wish I had 'em back.
And no, I’m not being sarcastic. I’m all for disagreeing in the Pit, but this thread just isn’t healthy.
But it is acceptable to callously insult a man I haven’t met, in front of tens of thousands of other people who have never met him either? That seems to be what people are saying should happen in the Pit.
I don’t like Zenster, this was reinforced by having met him, and yet it is out-of-bounds to say so? The response being that it isn’t fair to those who haven’t met him, since they can’t refute the “testimony”? As if, whether we like or dislike Zenster is a subject for rational objective debate, where the best argued (under fair conditions) side will win out in the end?
And I’ve already conceded that it may be more inappropriate to say these things where Zenster can read them, but it isn’t more mean.
Would you really prefer that un-callously insult someone? That I maybe take joy in it?
How about this, obfusciatrist - your mother doesn’t love you. Oh, wait, no, it was that woman in the grocery story, she just went the other way, I’ve never seen her before, no idea who she is. No, hold on, it’s that girl you met in class, the one you chatted up a bit. Yeah, she thinks you’re a real asshole and it’s important enough that she’s going to tell a whole bunch of your friends. You’re not her taste.
Get it?
It’s one thing to disagree with a stance someone has taken on a subject, or to have a problem with the way they’re conducting an argument - those are behaviors.
And it’s one thing to make superficial cracks about someone using phrases like “asshat” - abrasive but entertaining and yet still vague.
And it’s one thing to pull up old posts and use them out of context to embarrass someone - tacky, but (usually) still within the game.
It’s another thing entirely to have met someone, to have broken bread and shared a moment - much less to have received a favor from them - and then to go around ranking not a specific issue, but the fact that you don’t like them. So fucking what. When you post an argument, that presupposes there’s another side to the issue.
It’s particularly distasteful to do it to someone who isn’t an indifferent yak, but clearly cares and makes an effort. Someone with real content who has made himself vulnerable by being real.
And yes, I cringe when reporters ask incredibly personal questions, and I don’t think 911 tapes should be played on television.
We should let this sick thread drop and go somewhere else to play.
I think there’s a big difference between talking about people in a post DopeFest thread (what else is there to do, after all) and using personal interaction (both positive and negative) as ammunition in a pit thread. If I ever get pitted for something I did on the boards (and of course I should never be pitted for any other reason), I certainly hope people don’t start bringing their impressions of me at dopefests into the thread. After all, the Pit is for dealing with what (some) people feel is inappropriate board behavior - does the person’s off-board behavior somehow mitigate their assholishnish (or nor) here? I think not. Witness Joe_Cool, who everyone said was so nice at DopeFests.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by fessie *
**How about this, obfusciatrist - your mother doesn’t love you. Oh, wait, no, it was that woman in the grocery story, she just went the other way, I’ve never seen her before, no idea who she is. No, hold on, it’s that girl you met in class, the one you chatted up a bit. Yeah, she thinks you’re a real asshole and it’s important enough that she’s going to tell a whole bunch of your friends. You’re not her taste.
Get it?
**/quote]
Actually, I don’t. I have no clue what you are trying to say here.
I have done none of these things, so I fail to see their relevance.
I posted no argument. In fact, I just said above that whether you or I like someone isn’t a subject of argument.
The people slagged in the Pit are rarely indifferent yaks. They are generally someone with real content who has made himself vulnerable by being real (yay psychobabble!). At least to the OP.
You are able to enjoy it, because the OP took something that had nothing to do with this board and decided to come bitch about them here. I still fail to see how the fact that the subject is a Doper ameliorates it or makes it worse.
Yay for your sensitivity. What does this have to do with anything?
All I was doing when I posted was responding to the several people who said “he’s probably quite the guy in real life.”
But again, if it helps any, I think that purely based on his board persona (which is exactly the same as his real life persona based on my meetings of him) he is a boor of incredible proportions.
Is that kosher?
porcupine, most of the people pitted are pitted for something that has nothing to do with their activity on the boards, for most of the are not active on the boards.
I wouldn’t have brought up his real life personality, but people were already using it in the conversation. To essentially say “regardless of what I think of his online personality, I’m sure he is a peach of a guy in real life.” I’m just assuring these people that this isn’t true. He is pretty much the same guy. If you like that, great. If you don’t, great.
“I have done none of these things, so I fail to see their relevance.” should have been “I have done none of these, except C., so I fail to see their relevance.”
Wondering if Ukelele Ike is planning to audition for the role of Lurch in some upcoming “Addams Family” movie.
obfus, my comment was meant in the context of when specific dopers are pitted, such as this thread. Obviously non-dopers can only be discussed in terms of their off-board behavior, pit thread or no.
Yes, I know. But I still fail to see why the off-board behavior of everybody in the world is fair game for the Pit. Except for Dopers.
obfusciatrist, are you really that dense, or are you just being contrary? Strangers are pitted because we don’t have a way of confronting them in real life. We pit friends and relatives because we can safely say what we want without hurting their feelings. We wouldn’t need to pit them if we felt comfortable insulting them to their face. It’s just a way of getting stuff off our chest while retaining a working relationship. What you’re doing is trashing a person’s reputation in public to those who interact with him.
Moreover, you’re doing it based upon stuff for which he can’t defend himself. This is in direct conflict with when we pit a board member on what they post, as the OP is doing. Zenster could have simply wandered in and said, “I’m sorry if you find my posts abrasive, just don’t read them”. But how does one defend against your statement of “In real live you suck”? Also, “I just don’t like you in real life” is just plain cruel. It’s a piss-poor excuse for a rant, and it says more about you than him.
The most disturbing post here though is Jack Batty’s. Jack, I don’t have a dog in this this fight, but I feel compelled to say; you sir, are a jackass. I simply can not believe that you actually have the nerve to write such a malicious post. Remind me not to do you any favors.
I think (some of) you guys are vile. This thread certainly does not compel me to entertain the idea of joining a Dopefest any time soon.
No, I’m not that dense. You do have a way of confronting them in real life.
It is called talking.
I have no problem talking to people in real life. Whether it be to say nice things or not nice things. And that is why in my years here, I’ve never started a Pit thread about people who aren’t on this message board. Because I talk to those people in a venue where they can talk back. Apparently you all would prefer that I go to ANOTHER message board and talk trash about Zenster (I don’t think I am, but you all do). Because that would be less mean and more adult somehow. To me that is what I’d call high school.
And Zenster has the same defense in this case. He can wander in, and say “I’m sorry you find me sucky, don’t go places you know I’ll be.” (which is exactly what I do)
And it may be a piss-poor excuse for a rant, so it is a good thing I never ranted. The ranter in this thread was Tony, and he did exactly what you all are asking for: He bitched about the postings of Zenster. I just gave my opinion when several people posted (Tony, lieu, wring) about his real life personality.
How is it cruel to say you don’t like someone. Do you honestly expect everybody to like you?
You sound just like a whiny eight year old…Mmmooooooomm, but she did have a fat butt!. I can believe you are really so stupid that you don’t understand the difference between our on-line persona being attacked and a real life character assassination. However, I see you really just don’t get it, and I can’t help you understand. I’m just glad we’ve never met.
I’m just wondering. Does your mother get tired of helping your tie your shoes every morning? Laces are hard!
Yes she does, but I eat her out every day as compensation.
You can’t have it both ways, either this is a community of real people or it is a community of fake personas. If we want it to be the former, then we can’t ignore the negatives or we have created the former (see the flirting threads where each doper is the sexiest creature since the last).
Uh, ew. I hope you meant you take her out to eat.