In which I tell y'all what I think about Ray Comfort (spoiler: I'm not a fan)

First of all I know I’m not taking any sort of courageous stand here but this thread got me thinking about Ray Comfort and my Pissed-Off meter immediately jumped from Chillaxed to Fuck The Fucking Fuckers.

I am not going to bitch about this dude’s worldview per se but it might come up as it permeates everything he says and does.

No, what I am going to talk about is the man himself and how he has personally caused my family to lose money (but not in the way you might think).

My parents own and operate a small business. My dad has a full time job and my mom works the business full time. They need both sources of income just to stay above water.

Ray Comfort likes to preach near where my parents business is located (it’s a popular tourist location) and there is a very specific light post that he feels has been deeded to him from on high. Most of the time he sets up there a good sized crowd will gather. Most of these people are already part of Comfort’s ministry but occasionally an atheist will step forward and argue with him. The spectacle is good entertainment and the crowd can swell when this happens. (People like screaming when it’s not directed toward them)

The thing is that due to the exact placement of the light post, when the crowd gathers it completely obstructs the entrance to my parents’ business. Sometimes people are even standing inside their place to hear The Ray speak. When this happens any prospective customers are either unable to get to the entrance or find that it’s not worth wading through the crowd.

Here’s where I get really pissed.

Several times my mom and dad have asked Ray’s lieutenants (because one must not speak directly to The Ray) if they would be so kind as to move their meeting spot. How far have my parents asked them to move? Five Fucking Feet. To the next light post down. They’d still have their post to gather round (because apparently God’s word is more effective when it comes from near a post) and they would no longer be blocking the entrance to my parents’ shop. A win-win to any reasonable person.

What would you guess the response was? If you think that The Ray would be willing to understand where another human being is coming from and attempt to find a solution that is beneficial to all parties then, well, you’ve obviously never heard of Ray Comfort. The response that my mom got for asking them to move Five Fucking Feet was (and I quote verbatim): “You are a demonic influence”. My parents are Christians. Much of their merchandise has bible verses displayed very prominently on it. Hell, my parents probably agree with The Ray on many doctrinal issues.

But in this paranoid fuck’s small, self-centered world any, and I mean ANY, challenge to a choice he has made is seen as clear evidence that The Devil is at work.

Well since my parents would never say it, I’m gonna say it. Ray Comfort, in addition to being a petty, unthinking, incurious, quasi-cult figure, you are also unloving, inflexible, unreasonably defensive and an all-around, good-old-fashioned prick. As a travelling Irish poet once wrote to me on the autograph page of a book of his poetry that I was having him sign: “Dear [Ray], Fuck you to the end of the universe you horrible, horrible cunt.”

Tell your parents not to worry. God will provide.

Seriously, though, the next time our insufferably obnoxious Controller lobs yet another veiled insult at me, I wish I could put her off just by saying, “You are demonic influence”. That would be awesome.

What kind of business is it? I mean, Ray’s still an ass, but it seems like having hundreds of people crammed around your storefront would be a good business opportunity, and selling shoddy merchandise to gullible, glassy eyed religious zealots is a time honored tradtion older the Christianity.

If The Ray does this on a predictable basis, then perhaps your parents could arrange for the local cops to come and move everyone along. I’m pretty sure that blocking an entrance like that is at least a fire hazard. It might also violate certain laws as well as fire codes. Perhaps they could get a restraining order on him?

Kinda depends who their clientèle is though. Going from “much of their merchandise has bible verses displayed very prominently on it” one suspects they might have a religious customer base that could react badly to their getting in a legal pissing match with the local preacher.

(which makes me kind of question the wisdom of starting this thread, guy seems like the kind of asshole who might google search himself and go after people (or parents of people) that call him a horrible horrible cunt)

They’ve thought about this but (without giving too much away) the place he sets up is on public property and the fire hazard thing isn’t really an issue for reasons I’d rather not get into.

I’m not really complaining with the hopes of ever stopping him. I just wanted to let the world know what a jerk the guy is on a personal level.

That, and vent.

Man, now I’m thinking about him again. What a classless piece of scum.

You’d think so but The Ray’s followers are, in my non-scientific, anecdotally-inclined opinion, very cheap. And rude.

You could go to your local voodoo supply store and get interesting items to hang on the lamppost. If the demonic influence is too strong, Ray’s followers might feel inclined to move.

(Fish heads and animal parts are another possibility, or if you could obtain a supply of cadaverine or putrescine (compounds involved in decomposition) you could smear those on the post. You don’t want to overdo this though, might be bad for business).

Seriously, how have your parents not called the police? How many times has this happened? How many more times till you think they figure out to call the police?

Think for a minute, you know people are allowed to picket a business, but they are not allowed to block access to the business. You know who else is not allowed to block entrance to a business? Street performers and corner preachers.

Why is this making you so hot and bothered instead of making you, use your head, and a get a police officer to be there and move them out of the way? I’m confused. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems self evident.

Whats that fruit thats popular in Asia but so damn stinky its outlawed in various places? The Durian?

Have mom and pop hand out free samples outside the shop everytime that prick shows up :slight_smile:

What an asshole.

then:

What an author.
I went from fuckity fuck fuck fuck to laffin’ in a split second.

but:

The guy really is an asshole. And probably dangerous to boot. If your parents try to reason with him anymore he could possibly get his congregation to boycott them etc.
Could they call the City and see if there’s some obscure ordinance or something that could be used to get him to relocate?

Now I’ll read the rest of the thread and see what other folks think.

ummm…do you mean that EVERY SINGLE THING I’VE EVER SAID can be looked up on Google? gulp

Yes. And we’re all very, very disappointed in you.

Can you turn on the hose? Its your parents’ storefront. They can say they’re simply cleaning the front of it. Then turn the hose on anyone in the way

elbows is right. I have a license to sell on the sidewalk, and I have to follow exact rules. You cannot be but so many feet from a driveway or an intersection. Not only can you not block entrances, but there’s a miminum distance you have to be from one. You cannot obstruct pedestrian flow. All of these codes are written with public safety in mind.

I’m not saying that all of these apply to this case, but it is worth looking into. If pedestrian traffic is being impeded, the cops should be called in to do crowd control, at the very least.

I’ve been known to say things that can’t be looked up on Google.

I use an app called “In Real Life”… it’s an analog way of communicating, where you cause vibrations in air with your mouth… well, check the documentation.

two words… Liquid Ass. Apply to lamppost, or just spray surreptitiously into the crowd.

Simple solution. Have your parents get a bullhorn, and start hawking their wares, at the top of their lungs, while Ray is speaking. Do it from within the store so there is no street vending problem. Pointing it at the ears of the scum who are blocking the entrance could work also.

I’m not-Way to go, Becky!

An anonymous sign on the lampost that states that Rev. Comfort will pay $1 to anyone who yells “praise Jesus” to him while he is speaking at said lampost. Perhaps anonymous leaflets advertising same to be spread among the crowd anonymously while he speaks.