I’ll be honest that I can’t speak for men, since I’m a woman. But as a woman, I will tell you this: whenever I’ve been romantically rejected or ignored by men, I’ve always assumed it to be on account of my looks (call me Average Jane here: I’m neither gorgeous nor hideous – I have my pretty aspects and my not so pretty ones), that I wasn’t wanted because I wasn’t goodlooking enough. I’m confident that I’ve “got it” in the departments of intelligence, personality, character and depth, so it has to have been my looks which got me rejected. Yes, it’s devastating, even when I’d tell myself, “if he can’t appreciate you for your INNER beauty, then he’s not worth your time!”
I’ll tell you why I think this is, i.e., that a woman would be more upset by rejection on account of looks than a man would. In the thread you attached, it was suggested by some that women were used to being judged by their physical attractiveness, while men were more accustomed (than women, anyway) to “taking the shot” and but being blown off. I agree with these suggestions, but I would add the following, based on my own observations and experience:
Sexually speaking, it is in the nature of the human male to respond more to visual cues (looks) than anything else which might make a woman desirable as a romantic companion (intelligence, personality, and so on), whereas women respond more to tactility and affection from their men. A man doesn’t have to be goodlooking for his hugs to feel good to a woman, or for him to a good lover who satisfies her both emotionally and physically. This NOT to say that ALL men desire only brainless women who look like Playboy Playmates (or that they’re all incapable of appreciating intelligent women with depth and character), or that women don’t respond to goodlooking men either (when I don’t have a boyfriend, the sight of a goodlooking guy when I’m out somewhere will turn my head too). But it is to say that the majority of men base their initial standards of “attractive women” on how the women LOOK, meaning that if they don’t like how a woman looks, they’re a lot less inclined to investigate what else she might have to offer.
And, when it comes to romantic relationships, what’s the difference between one of those and a friendship? The SEXUAL aspect, of course. If someone has no romantic interest in you, it means that for whatever reason he or she finds you sexually undesirable. So, again from my POV as a woman who knows that looks are primarily what inspires a man’s sexual interest, it’s devastating to be rejected or ignored because you look like Average Jane rather than a “hot chick.”
A woman, on the other hand, tends to have other interests in a man besides his looks, as a rule anyway. Yes, if the guy is goodlooking, it helps, but if his good looks are most or all of what he’s got to offer, she’ll probably lose interest a lot faster than she would with a less visually but more emotionally and intellectually appealing specimen.