My kids dad, my ex…was indeed there for me, after my mom died. He stayed with me for days, helping me. One thing led to another, and I soon found out I was pregnant. I moved back with the ex, and tried my best to work in same office with Joe, but not rub it in his face that I was pregnant that quickly after our ‘immaculate’ relationship had ended. He eventually found out…and he was livid. We didn’t speak again…until after I came back to work after having baby. Well, I brought the baby in to show the coworkers, Joe had tears in his eyes.
Eventually Joe and I regained cordial speaking status. Not long though after that, the company I worked for for 10 years (with Joe) sold. I lost my job. Things spiraled downward fast. The house of my kids dad, that we had refinanced when I got pregnant and moved back in…was quickly slipping into foreclosure. During these months, Joe had been coming around and paying me to do odd ‘design’ jobs for him…He loved hanging out with my young son Dillon too. Anyways, long stort short, Joe financially helped get me out of foreclosure not once but twice. The third time it happened, we got an offer to walk away, to avoid the foreclosure…and we took the offer. Joe in the meantime, did indeed find out the inevitable. his colitis had progressed into colon cancer. chemo wasnt an option…he had to have colon removed entire. Joe, was once again, pulling the ‘sitting outside waiting to speak to me 3 hours’ crap. This time it was tears and regret, he was about to die, and still no intimacy in his life. He told be he blew it, and would do anything to have me back. etc etc…it was uncomfortable and awkward. The doctors decided on a trial thing, to utilize part of the intestine and form a makeshift colon…whatever they tried it, it worked. Joe lived…I eventually left kids dad, for good. Joe, remains to this day, my best friend, and my pillar of everything. I needed a place to stay, when I left the kids dad. Joe offered to pay motel rooms weekly, rather than let me move into one of the 4 rooms in his empty home.Joe still to this day helps me financially, and emotionally. Hahaah, still no sex that I can see in Joes life. BUT, I did clean his house one day, and found bottle of prescribed viagra. (almost empty bottle) . So, I suppose he does indeed have ‘some sort of stirring in his loins’ but, I tend to think any and all sexual activity on his part, iis by himself.
So the update is that the relationship ended and he’s still not sexually active as far as you can tell, with the Viagra discovery implying that he’s not gay, but instead struggling with impotency issues.
I dated that guy…with a less/more happy ending. I dated and married my husband and had two kids (more happy) and I’ve seen my ex once since (I’m not sure that is less happy, its great that you got a best friend out of it - I’m pretty content with Mr. “You don’t really want to break up with me, I know whats best for us, my preferences regarding sex - or lack thereof - are the only ones that matter” out of my life.) And he apparently married and had kids, so eventually he had sex.
OK, people. While the unfolding of events here has been somewhat protracted and dramatic, accusations of trolling (outside the pit) are still against the rules. Stop doing it.
pati12812, welcome back. You may wish to refresh yourself of our rules here; they may be found in the About this Message Board forum. Our guiding principle is “don’t be a jerk,” and while you haven’t, really, you do seem to have put some effort into stringing people along with your tale. Please play nice from here on out.
I can’t help but think there’s some kind of message in a story about an asexual minor league baseball player with colitis. Like, a map to buried treasure!
I’ve read that Asexual Minor League Baseball Player With Colitis was the title of A League of Their Own, but can’t provide proof (because I don’t speak Chinese).
Actually, the way I understand it, the medical community seems to think people with colitis only have a higher percentage rate of colon cancer becasue they tend to have colonoscopies more often…hence the cancer is caught more often than in people who don’t get scopes once a year (or more sometimes) as many colitis sufferers do.
Anyone with active colitis that doesn’t see a doctor doesn’t deserve pity, There are drugs that can and do help, though none is a cure. If he was or is not even trying to help himself, then I can’t feel sorry for him.
Also counseling with a dietician is recommended to figure out what you can and should be eating.
The surgery to remove the large intestines is fairly common with this disease, and in no way rare or experimental. He played you on that one for sure. He was actually a lucky one that could reconnect with his smaller intestines doing the work of the larger, (my best friend from childhood had this surgery) though then you have what is called “short-gut syndrome” where your body digestes food faster, as it doesn’t have the (how many feet or yards) large intestines to go through.
Some people can’t be reconnected for what ever reason and end up with an ilsotomy bag (sp?) and have the waste go into a bag literally attached to their side that needs emptied daily. (nice, huh?) Another friend of mine has that, and lives a very normal life…you would never know she has the bag on her side.
I myself have colitis, and am a Catholic and in no way am I sexually repressed.
Heartless as I am, I started snickering when the OP said Joe was having his entire colon removed and then resumed that “sitting and waiting 3 hours crap.” Clearly, he needed better aftercare instructions.
I find myself wondering whether the colon cancer story he told was ever true.
So to summarize: she was fucking some other dude all along, but she managed to sucker “Joe” into supporting her without ever having to give it up to him. Cool story.
THAT is actually not even close to accurate! I shall correct you! I did not start sleeping with my ex until the demise of my relationship with Joe! Secondly, Joe was not supporting me, I did indeed say he has helped me out financially…but that was long after we were together. And ‘helped’ is the key word here! Incidentally the ‘help’ was through loans, which I have paid back!
Not necessarily! The finding of the Viagra proves only that he isn’t completely asexual. It indicates that there is some activity in his nether region, but it doesn’t tell us what gender preference he has.
I never thought I’d say this but I’m feeling a sudden desire to campaign for stripped down black only post editors for people who prove they can’t handle the responsibility.
WHOA! Ok, granted I am not a scholar, not only that it isn’t like I was writing for a shot at the Pulitzer Prize! BUT, holy cow! Let’s not go that far! I commented only on the blatant & glaring spelling errors, but I never said it was that bad! Sheesh!
And what? The medical issues are over…and what sounds teenage after 10 years? There is nothing still going on after 10 years…except a friendship! No one said there was still anguish here! And yes I believe he is 52. And I am now 44.