Is sex ever fun?

Really-
I must make a confession:

I have no interest in rear-entry sex!
I was only writing it to be amiable.

My question is this:

How come i never enjoy it? I mean sex in general, not just from behind.I think it’s boring. Boring Boring Boring Boring…

I prefer just smooching but everybody thinks there’s something wrong with me.
I usually just tell myself that it’s probably that I’m with the wrong guy. Every time.

I suppose I’m open to suggestion, but I was looking for anyone who agrees with me that it’s just not fun. It makes me think of monkeys.

I’m probably all alone on this view, huh?

Well, you’re probably not alone, but I doubt there are terribly many people like you. I wouldn’t say that you’re with the wrong guy. Rather, I’d say you’re approaching the situation with the wrong attitude. You are responsible for making your sex life fulfilling but you are not obligated to do so.

Ummm, while I couldn’t really decipher the OP totally, I think I get your general meaning. I can’t say I’m with you, but I’ve heard of plenty of people who feel the same, if that’s any comfort. Some people because of medications, some because of depression, and some people just plain don’t enjoy it. We’re all different. What’s important, is to make sure that there’s not another reason you don’t enjoy it other than…well…than you just don’t enjoy it. i.e. the things I mentioned before.

Turpentine, when you’re smooching, don’t you ever get to the point when you MUST. TOUCH. OTHER. PERSON? You must be doing it wrong.

Maybe you don’t like boys?

Hi Turp,

Sex should be fun. Absolutely. If not, you’ve been involved with the wrong guy(s) or the wrong type of guy(s).

If it’s the wrong type of guy(s) you need to find out why. Why is it that you are attracted to guys with whom you don’t mesh.

If your profile is accurate you’re into dead things and smelly things. The amateur psychiatrist in me says that all of these things together paint a pretty startling picture.

How about describing some of the guys?

Turp said that smooching was good… I Can’t see anyone smooching with someone of the wrong gender. (‘specially when the smoochin’ gets ***GOOD!

Have you ever had an orgasm?

I have a friend who once felt the same way. What was the big deal with sex anyways? It was sweaty and uncomfortable and time-consuming. She just didn’t get it.

Then, about a year ago, she started seeing a friend who’d been widowed for a while. Now, this friend, he actually spent more than twenty seconds on foreplay. He petted her and kissed her and called her beautiful. She can’t get enough of this sex stuff, and they’re getting married in a month.

Who knows. Maybe you haven’t met the right guy yet. If it really bugs you, talk to your doctor or a therapist about it. Me, I think sex should be a blast for everyone so inclined.

Hullo ** Southern **.

I just checked your profile…your interests include fishing and sex? Then maybe you know all about it. I like fishing, too.

Yeah, I like the whole smooching, necking, making out- whatever you care to call that stuff.
I haven’t really tried kissing any girls too much. Um… it doesn’t sound completely repulsive but no more interesting than sex with a man.

well- the guys have varied. A couple of them were very rough, almost to the point of being abusive, another was the other extreme- totally Boring, but maybe that was because i was accustomed to roughness.

Oh- and i was just kidding about being obsessed with odors in my profile. But yes, I am a taxidermist, but I don’t practice that and sex at the same time.

The times when I was lying there resenting the fact that my partner of the moment was humping away like an animal…those were the times when foreplay was way too short. You have to get hot enough that you don’t compare yourself to monkeys, or don’t care that you’re acting like one.

Hmmmm, maybe a blindfold and some serious fantasizing might take your mind off the rawness part of it. Sometimes we want to think of it as elegant and beautiful (or hot and fluid) but the reality of the skin slapping, the body parts jiggling, the grunting, etc. blows the moment. You have to not focus on that (unless that part gets you hot, which it sounds like it doesn’t).

Hey Turpentine,

It’s possible you just don’t like sex. It’s far more likely that you’ve just been having sex with the wrong people and/or for the wrong reasons (i.e. you feel you should). It’s also pretty likely you’ve only been with guys who were either inexperienced or inept.

You don’t say, but I’m guessing that you’re young, say between 13 and 20. I’ve had a couple of female friends who felt pretty much the same way when they were younger, and then met someone who knew what they were doing and with whom they connected, and just went bat-shit.

Unsolicited advice: if you aren’t having orgasms, practice when you’re alone. (Learning to give yourself one is the first step to having them with others.) Also, don’t have sex until you actually really want to – if nothing else, it’ll provide the boys you’re dating with a challenge, and maybe you’ll see some decent foreplay action.

Back at ya, Turp.

Normally I don’t indulge in fishing and sex at the same time, either. Though the boat has been a wonderful environment for both and the source of some wonderful stories. (I’ll gladly take them offline, but it’s probably best that I don’t post them to the world.)

Your comment about rough guys in not surprising. As I’ve grown older and have engaged in conversation regarding relationships the more I’ve come to understand that all too many man have no concern for their partner. Regardless of their appearance and behavior, they still look out for number one.

The “boring” guy kind of fits the model, too. He’s “different” than the rough guys, but still not a fit for you.

What do you look for in a guy?

It has now been repeatedly suggested that you need a new partner. I must insist that this is not a practical solution. Until you can figure out what you want and how you want it, you will just torture yourself by shifting from one disappointment to another.

More specific suggestions from me would be to masturbate frequently. Really get to know your body and the erotic nature of your mind. Then you will be more comfortable and open to stimulation from a partner. Read about sexuality. There is a wealth of information available that might help to shed light on the nature of your current mindset. Talk to your partner(s) honestly and openly before, during and after lovemaking. Developing a greater sense of trust by exposing and sharing your feelings honestly will work wonders for your sense of enjoyment. DO NOT EVER allow yourself to feel inadequate or odd. Sex requires skill gained from knowledge and experience. You cannot possess either of these naturally. Work at it and do not abandon hope.

I wish you good luck and good sex.

I second the question. I know, I know, all us guys are hung up on the orgasm, but really, this could say a lot. If the OPer has orgasms and still doesn’t enjoy sex, well, fair enough. Or, if only self-induced orgasms have been achieved, I can understand being dissatisfied with the less than fulfilling efforts of a partner. (Of course, I would suggest a different remedy rather than writing off sex on the whole).

If there has never been a climax at all, I would say that sex hasn’t been given a fair shot.

Thanks.

Yeah, I have experienced self-induced orgasms.

I’m 23. I haven’t had as much sex as someone with the number of boyfrieds I’ve had usually would at my age. I think they wonder baout that, and take it personally that I’m not all that interested. I have pretended to be interested if I liked the guy,though.

As for what I look for in a man, I think the most attractive feature is if he is different. You know, unique and has a view of the world unlike any other.

Unfortunately this trait is often accompanied by psychosis.

Uh- I know how this is going to sound, but I really like men who have um… how do I say this? Girlish features? you know, pretty boys… But not always. I been interested in MANLY men before. But delicate features are so cool.

“Sex. Give it a chance.”

This message was brought to you by the Sex Advisory Council.

You know, I’m kinda the same way. But I’m male, so that makes it doubly wierd. I don’t abhore sex, but I find it a let down in most cases. This isn’t due to my lover or anything with the actualy process, but there’s so much work for so little reward. I refuse to allow myself an orgasm during sex since I’m unwilling to become a father at this point in my life, and releasing pressure via oral sex just doesn’t appeal to me at all. After all, if I won’t accept it in my mouth, its unfair to put it in my partner’s.
This leaves masturbation my only outlet, and even then I need a great deal of excitement to even get started. Now, my girlfriend sees this as a double edged sword. on the one hand, she likes the fact that I won’t bother with sex unless she wants it and is excited enough to really get in the swing of things. On the other hand, she thinks that she’s the one with the problem, and that makes me sad.
I think I like the concept of sex, and I sure do enjoy those orgasms, and I’ve tried lots of fun and exciting things, but I just can’t get into it as much.
But I’m wacky like that.

You must be using definitions for “fun” and “exciting” of which I am unaware. Obviously, you did not find these things fun or exciting at all. Could it be that you are too caught up in the idea of pleasing your partner? Perhaps you will find pleasure if you allow yourself to be a bit more selfish and proud.

I don’t think anyone has asked this directly, Turpentine, but are you on any kind of medication? Some have the nasty side effect of inhibiting sex drive.

MR

From looking at your profile I was able to instantly deduce what your problem is. You haven’t tried having sex with another Residents fan. It’s a well known fact that Residents fans can usually only get off with others of their kind, there are some few small exceptions. My best advice is totravel around reciting the following lines. If anyone recognizeds them, sleep with them as soon as possible.
Edweena went to calumet and left from there to college;
She took along a porcupine whose name was known as knowledge;
Now their relationship was fraught with pangs of loving hunger.
The Porcupine could question all, but all she knew was slumber.