** Tomorrow I shall be homeless.
Blood sugar creeping up relentlessly…**
…went to my old lady, she say
You one ugly mutha from what I see
- obscure John Lee Hooker song
** What’s the best way for a man to tell a woman he doesn’t want to be physical anymore?
Waking up in the middle of the night and ruminating**
No, honey, I don’t want to stop sleeping with you, I was just … ruminating … about other people.
Describe yourself in 3 words
OK Boomer!
That’s 2 words.
**
Someone in New Zealand wants to hack me
How dangerous is a chainsaw to use?**
Very. You could literally hack someone with it.
**
Bear: Beckdawreks bad, bad, bad, boy!(bingo! ‘Bs’)
OK Boomer!**
Another B
US shale oil industry is collapsing
Bends Over?
Yes, it’s bending over and soon will collapse.
** Fireball Whiskey mini-bottles and toothpicks with dental floss
Stupid Republican idea of the day**
They’d get better results handing out mini-bottles of whiskey at the polls, especially in Kentucky and Tennessee.
** What would happen if you fell into a volcano?
Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion
**
Well, depending upon how you fell. …
And the fusion part would depend on how hot the volcano was.
Do you ever go to your city’s “bad part of town”?
Should you expect to know what genitals a person has before a first date?
So go
Downtown
Things will be great when you’re
Downtown
No finer place for sure
Downtown
Everything’s waiting for you 
**Who is using THC for pain management?
parole boards**
Hey – it’s tough sitting through all those parole hearings!
Describe yourself in 3 words
A regretful farewell
Losing the “essential” employee at work
Epstein Suicide
:dubious:
** Why is online dating, along with trying to meet someone in person, frustrating at times?
Hard wooden chairs and no butt meat**
Real Warning Signs that deliver the message and a smile.
It’s baaaack - the Black Death plague!
A bit gentler than “Bring out your dead!” :dubious:
** Real Warning Signs that deliver the message and a smile.
Epstein Suicide**
Straight to hell with that one
14 years ago, a 9-year-old found a 700-year-old coin…
… but I didn’t buy a Highlander…
I don’t really want a new car, but I think I should buy one. Tell me if I am thinking clearly.
Now that you’re 23, go right ahead and sell that coin and buy that Highlander, YOLO!
Vehicle warranty expiration crisis (need answer super fast)
… but I didn’t buy a Highlander…
Things that don’t bother you, but seem to bother everyone else
Bus driver kicks little kid off the bus into the bitter cold
“Oh, boo-hoo! He got to ride the bus part of the way didn’t he? In my day, we walked THE WHOLE WAY in the bitter cold! And we liked it!!! Ungrateful little Millennial whiners!”
** Who is the whistleblower?
What is that button (or badge?) they are wearing?**
Cause they look fabulous!