** The President sends 90th birthday greetings to Betty White
Greetings
**
That’s probably what it looked like, too.
**Non-US Dopers: What Does Your Culture/Language Call Baby Teeth?
Big fake boobs
**
Well that could get awkward.
Three Coke Zero’s per day. Excessive?
Ask the guy who lost 200 pounds in 9 months
Considering he only weighed 180 to start with, maybe he should’ve stuck with two Coke Zeros per day.
I was assaulted yesterday
Things You Can Do With Buttocks
But probably shouldn’t.
**I was assaulted yesterday
This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife **
You got lucky, but the killer struck again.
**
Geohot and the cracking of the PS3. Fair to hack your own system?
Because he’s black of course! **
Console hacking is merely fair payback for centuries of racial oppression!
Who killed Jesus?
Chicago Tourists
Well, at least they didn’t ask for ketchup on their hot dog.
Worst technical screwup you’ve seen on TV
Bruce Lee “put balls” on Chinese men!?!?!
I feel bad that the guy who accidentally put in the Bruce Lee porn movie got fired.
**What all is contained inside a scrotum?
Bootle fed Baby milk formula
**
**What all is contained inside a scrotum?
Modern Alchemy. **
Any Dopers have experience with frozen shoulder?
Your experiences with profanity in the classroom.
“Fuck this shoulder! Oh shit, sorry kids…I mean…damn.”
**Footwear at home
Big fake boobs **
The ultimate in tacky footwear.
** What are your most extreme, honestly held views?
Big fake boobs
**
…and I honestly hold them as often as possible.
Friends don’t let friends…
Make up fun facts that can’t be disproven while Wikipedia is down
“Let it go bro, it ain’t worth it. The protest’s over in two hours, and where’s your zombie flying squirrel story then, huh?”
**What is the best remedy for foot cramps?
Big fake boobs **
Yeah, but just because they cause you to spend more time on your back.
How to get immediate attention from people
SOPA is DEAD!!
OMIGOD! Huh?
**Can Gingrich Be Serious?
Your Presidential Soulmate **
Sorry, I’m insisting on an “open” campaign. 
**
When you got your cell phone, how did you decide…
How to Quickly and Safely Break a Window
**
Easy…it was a disposable phone, the battery died, and I hate my neighbor.
**What do you do when you need reassurance?
Big fake boobs **
Um. Maybe a nice big slice of chocolate cake would be better than elective surgery, just saying…
Video: “Right Hand Masturbation Caused Facial Distortion” - Probably NSFW
And Here We Have A New MMP
What all is contained inside a scrotum?
Text messages that re-send themselves
…again and again… building up pressure… until eventually it becomes too much, and they ejaculate forth in a big splurge of icky goo. The medical term for this phenomenon is a “Twitter feed”.