If none of your friends think you handled the situation badly, then I’m forced to conclude that the dynamics of the situation were different than the way they were presented in your OP and subsequent posts. Maybe some details were left out, or the narrative was slightly different, or something of that nature.
In all honesty, if the situation described in the OP happened to one of my friends, I would have: a) told the guy to get lost myself and b) told my friend she was acting like an idiot once she re-engaged the guy in conversation.
One last thing: If your friends are such that they don’t mind you being called a whore in a bar, see nothing wrong in you being touched inappropriately, and are reluctant to call the cops when a potentially dangerous and inebriated man is semi-stalking you, you might want to reconsider your definition of the word “friend.”
Yes, Diane, I realized I failed to describe the situation well. I said so in the OP. But people didn’t hesitate to fill in the blanks with their imaginations and had already decided I had screwed up. Strange dynamics happen in these pile-ons.
Sauron, the only person who was there at the time who I would consider a friend was the bartender. And she would tell me if I had screwed up. She has in the past. She fully supported me on this, except she didn’t want to call the cops. I live in NYC, and every time I’ve tried to get a cops help here they’ve laughed at me. Things might be different in your town.
I’m confused. You’ve said this a couple of times now. Which posts do you think were exaggerated by the poster’s imagination?
And I am confused once again. (It happens to me frequently; I’m not terribly smart.) You’ve mentioned that friends (plural) were there in the bar, and that you asked the guy for a cigarette while you were talking with your friends. You’ve also intimated a couple of times that your friends all thought you handled the situation properly. Now it’s just the bartender who is a friend, and who thinks you did the right thing.
I’m not trying to be argumentative, but I’m confused regarding the number of people who actually support you in this situation.
And, to harp on a tired subject, I honestly don’t understand the bartender’s position regarding calling the cops. That seems to be putting you in more danger, rather than less. Even if you knew the cops wouldn’t show up, telling the guy “I’m calling the cops right now, I suggest you leave” would surely have had some effect on the drunk.
Everyone seems to believe I went over to him. I believe there were some other misstatements of fact here, but I really don’t feel like going through the thread again.
At this point I’ve forgotten exactly who was in the bar. I remember that in addition to the bartender, there was one guy I had met once before, and another guy who I met that night as I was trying to avoid the asshole. I’ve talked to those three people since then. The other “friends” I was referring to are people I’ve told the story to. People who also know what I’m like when I’ve been drinking, and how much experience I have dealing with drunks in bars.
I guess you all live in Mayberry. I can’t imagine the cops giving a shit about this. Last time I spoke to one it was to point out a guy passed out in the middle of the intersection and he laughed and drove off. I think the reason why she was against it, besides the fact that it would have been a hassle with no benefit, is that some neighbors wish they lived in a residential area and like to harass the bar. Having cops show up would give them more ammunition.