Of course no woman is going to rearrange her whole life for you right now. It’s just not reasonable to expect anybody to rearrange their whole life for their friends, especially a very new friend. I mean, really, would you turn everything upside down for one of your buddies from the Circle K? Sure, there are some women who meet a guy and immediately turn their whole lives upside down to spend more time with him. By and large, though, these are not psychologically healthy women. Rather, they have a nearly pathological desperation for approval from the opposite sex. You don’t want to be involved with one of these women, darlin’, trust me.
That’s not to say that you have to resign yourself to living on the edges of your SO’s life. Far from it, in fact. As the relationship develops, priorities will shift somewhat, and you’ll both adjust things to make more time for each other. You can’t expect that sort of adjustment from someone you just met, though; you have to wait for the relationship to grow a certain amount first.
It sounds like you’ve got some pretty unrealistic expectations about sex, too. Yes, it’s a lot of fun, and it can be an incredibly intense psychological and emotional experience under the right circumstances. I’ll tell you, though, there ain’t anything life-changing about it, even under those circumstances. Being in a relationship is no guarantee of a regular supply of sex, as anyone who’s been through stressful times will tell you. And you know what? Dry spells are annoying, and often very frustrating, but they’re not the end of the world.
You want to talk about being weird by society’s standards? Okay, I’ll tell you about weird. I’m a newlywed, so I’m supposed to be having sex all the time, right? Well, I’m not. Because of conflicting work schedules and other stresses, we hardly ever have sex. Hell, at least two days a week, we pretty much never see each other at all when we’re both awake. A lot of people think this is seriously weird, bordering on not being a real marriage. However, those people aren’t me or my husband, so their opinions don’t matter a fiddler’s fuck. See, I’ve got two choices; I can worry about what everyone else thinks is normal and try to conform to that, or I can ignore them and continue to do what works for me and my life.
Actually, that applies to a whole lot of stuff in my life. I can worry about what society thinks of my hair, or lack of makeup, or clothes, or job, or education, or hobbies and make myself miserable, or I can value my own opinion more than theirs and do what works for me and be pretty happy.
Oh, and you need to ditch that “foot in the door” approach to friendship. Friendship with an ulterior motive isn’t friendship, and if I ever had an inkling you were trying such a tactic with me, your foot in the door would turn into a foot in the ass.
