Well, God hates fags. Jesus hates dykes. The Holy Spirit is still available.
You’ll be pissed to learn that The Holy Spirit can’t stand friggin hetero’s with their gettin hitched and poppin out kids right and left and their baby rapin and kiddie diddlin and all the other things that hetero’s do.
Poor ol’ Jesus. I picture him up there in heaven, sitting on a cloud, with a harp by his side, looking down at all of us…and thinking:
“WTF? They said I hate dykes? Dykes? Who the hell cares if two chicks wanna get it on? Where do these people get this shit from? Jesus H. Fucking Christ on a pogo stick! You wanna hate dykes? Fine. Hate dykes. Just leave me out of it, m’kay?”
I think Jesus would say, “Me on a fucking pogo stick!” Unless you have some evidence that he talks like Bob Dole. Hey, do you suppose Jesus watches Britney Spears shake her thang in Pepsi commercials?
Remember; Jesus is said to have long hair, so Paul was saying Jesus was shameful?
Monavis
This is not as catchy a slogan as the ones for God’s and Jesus’s little pet peeves, though.
Ah, that makes sense. While the double-whammy punks theory is theoretically possible, I highly doubt it: the rage in her face, the bitterly hateful triumphalism, didn’t reflect anything the least bit playful.
Daniel
One of my favorite tales along these lines is from a friend-of-a-friend who was seen a few years ago walking hand-in-hand with a much younger man in downtown Montgomery, AL. (The f.o.f. was 50ish, the younger man in his 20s.) Some rednecks yelled some epithets, circled the block, and got out to confront him. They felt like dumbasses when he reached into his man-purse and pulled out a folding cane and they realized he was blind and the younger man was his son.
They apologized profusely, especially when they learned he had lost his eyesight as the result of an injury in Vietnam. One of them said something to the effect of “Oh sorry man, we didn’t know… it didn’t look like he was escortin’ you… we thought you was a fag…”
When he was a few feet away he called back “I am.” (He was, though he had a son from a brief hetero marriage.)
They laughed… then were wondering “was he serious”… then just went home confused.
Personally I think God Hates Idiots.
Great story!
About thirty seconds after they yelled “Jesus hates dykes!” at us, I thought of shouting, “No, he hates morons!” but by then, it was too late :(.
Daniel
Man, when Jesus comes back, he better get himself a respectable haircut.
And start wearin’ some dang trousers. :rolleyes:
Jesus hates dykes?
How does he feel about Hoover Dam?
I’ve been mistaken for a woman once, with my hair down and from behind, but it was a person looking for a particular acquaintance who was almost my size.
Even with my hair down, at 6’1" and 215 with a beard, they’d have to be driving pretty fast to think me a woman. Now, given that I wear many earrings and often a kilt, I’ve gotten my share of interesting looks and the very occasional “fag!” But most of the time, my steeltoes and Duke basketball tee tend to just give the good ol’ boys a bad case of cognitive dissonance. It’s even worse for the poor guys when I’m roofing, framing, or up to my elbows in engine.
You would have placed high on my hero list if you had hollered back,“Band Name!” 
:rolleyes: I doubt it.
Pffft. Don’t get all huffy just because you Left Coasters don’t have enough decent teams.
Thbphth.
I have a dear friend who currently lives in Asheville and is The Most Dangerous Lesbian In The World. If you ever see a short, beefy woman around there with a healthy moustache and a big fish tattooed on her scalp you’ll know who I mean. I’ve seen her scare off whole gangs of Texas frat boys by saying, “You’re not from around here, are you?” It saddens me to think that if those “Christians” ever pick on her I won’t be around to see what happens.
I’m sorry, this is Asheville–you’ll have to be more specific.
Daniel
Sadly, that sums up my in-laws’ religious philosophy pretty well.
Hey, I may be a resident of O-re-gon, but I’m a Tarheel baby and so will I stay!
rolls down window
JESUS THINKS DOOK FANS CAN SUCK IT!