Just the Punchlines, Please.

I got a fk for a duck, a duck for a fk, ten bucks to duck a fk, and I’ve still got the fking duck!

“A hot flaxseed poultice? Doc, I coulda sworn you said to lay a hot, flaccid poetess on my chest.”

Help me! Help me! My husband’s stuck!

This one sure as hell does!

It’s running down my leg.

A submarine.

Where are you going, oh boy-foot bear with teaks of Chan?

I said she was fuckin’ Goofy!

We needed the eggs.

Could you get this guy out of my ass?

–Cliffy

If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a “teethbrush.”

Should I have said, " DiMaggio"?

That’s not my dog.

Nothing, except grapes are purple.

Which only goes to show that a Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

You want a two lane highway or a four lane highway?

How the elephant got in my pajamas I’ll never know.

“When he comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole.”

Becuase they’re both on someone’s ass and usually full of shit.

A pig this special, you don’t eat all at once.

Nope, I’m a frayed knot.

Either way, somebody loses a trailer.

Git in the truck, bitch.

Everyone has one and most of 'em stink.

–Please!

— It is scary how many of these I recognise –

Stays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

A stick

Dung!

Zzub.

Nothing. He told her twice already.

Because goose doesn’t rhyme.

All right, Saracen, now where’s that lady with the toothache?

“Hi, there, sir, I’m CHUCK and -”

"HEY! Git th’hell outa’ here!


True Blue Jack