[Now that you’ve all been titillated by the title…]
If a woman achieves orgasm during sex but the male does not, does the woman still consider the sex to be satisfying? I know there’s no cut-and-dry answer here, but I’d like your opinions on it.
And let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that the complete act included a fair amount of foreplay; that is, the guy didn’t just jump on top, go to town, and not finish his end of the bargain.
Is this acceptable?
Ok, it sounds like I’m obsessing, but it would be a big load off my mind to find out one way or the other.
You’re not dating one of my ex’s are you? Because she would get off, then stretch out put her arms behind her head before she realized that I wasn’t done! Then she’d go, “Oh, I’m sorry!” and go back to screaming again. Yeah, I wasn’t too upset when we split up.
I’ve had it happen to me a couple of times where I wasn’t able to orgasm with a woman and it never seemed to bother them from a stand-point that they thought there was something wrong. They were disappointed that I wasn’t able to have as much fun as they did (truth to tell they were probably glad I didn’t since it meant we wouldn’t be going at all night long), but none of them ever acted like they thought that I found them unattractive or anything else.
This is actually a growing aspect of modern life as some men are quite adept at lovemaking and giving women orgasms, but sometimes aren’t invested physically or emotionally enough to “let themselves go”, or are concerned about ejaculating when birth control is not being used.
Men do fake orgasms to make women feel better and to get women to stop “trying”, and they do it a hell of lot more frequently than women realize. Another advantage of seeming to achieve climax is that this process often helps a woman to crest to a massive, screaming orgasm if she starts having one while she thinks you are having one, and that both of you are “coming together”. If a man is in good shape and knows what they are doing, a male orgasm during intercourse can be as easily and convincingly faked as a women’s orgasm, and unless the women wants to look for vaginal or condom “evidence”, they are usually none the wiser and besides women are always sure they “know”. The reality is that they often don’t. They funny part is if you have a real orgasm after two fake orgasms within an hour or two, you can be the God Stud King as they look at you with wide eyed wonder at your unceasing virility. For those tsk-tsking this behavior, would you rather have a happy, supremely satisfied woman snuggled up next to you secure in the power of her own womanliness, or an angry, worried woman full of angst about her ability to satisfy you or concerned about some “problem” you are having.
This is a dicey area however as women take it a lot more personally when a man fakes an orgasm, than the way they expect a man to be understanding about a woman’s need or desire to occasionally fake one. In some venues women are catching onto this behavior and are starting to check for “evidence” and are making the dating rule of “No deposit - No return!”
But what if it’s, say, your forth go-round of the morning? The poor guy is probably already so worn out and dehydrated that he doesn’t have any fluids left to secrete! Sure, it would be nice if he did every time, and for the vast majority of guys this probably isn’t a freqent problem, but I’m not going to get upset over a fluke.
I’m not talking about faking orgasms - I’d never want to do that. It’s a lot more difficult for a male to fake one then a female, so the risk is greater that you’d be “found out”.
Now, the woman may be disappointed, but only for the male, right? In other words, does she think he’s less “talented” if he doesn’t get satisfied? Do women usually think it’s their own fault that he didn’t get off (they certainly shouldn’t, of course, but I can see why they might assume so)?
For example, let’s say it’s going reeeeeeally well, and you (the lady) have gotten off at least once, perhaps two or three times. And he’s still on there, going at it, pump, pump, pump. But he never reaches the utter nirvana, and after a long while, just stops.
The sex can still be great for me if he doesn’t orgasm, and I don’t think he’s either a bad man, or a bad lover (often quite the contrary). However, I will worry that he’s not having as much fun as I am, and might feel a bit guilty about it - it doesn’t seem fair!
Speaking as a guy who’s had to say, “Not this time, sorry,” once or twice, it sure didn’t seem to bother her. My non-climax happened in a session after one where I did, though, so it wasn’t really an issue of her not being able to bring me to one. It was more an issue of the spirit being willing, but the flesh being weak. It’s weird, but it seems that if you don’t wait for the entire duration of the refractory period, engaging in sex just drags it out further-like some sort of zero-sum equation.
But honestly, I take far more pride in her getting three orgasms than in my getting one, so it wasn’t really a disappointment.
Very untrue, although it’s possible your lovemaking techniques might need improvement. If properly motivated many women make a very overt physical and vocal point about giving themselves to you and wanting you to use them (in a very loving sense) to obtain your pleasure. Women in love are very concerned are very concerned about their partners pleasure.
Don’t question my lovemaking ability! I’m simply the man. This is a well known fact round these parts. I hate being such a sex object though. I want women to know that there’s more to me than just something to sink their fingernails into.
My honey had a brief spell when he had difficulty climaxing, we think due to some cold meds he was taking. While I still had my share of orgasms, it wasn’t completely satisfying for me, because I also get pleasure from his pleasure. He wasn’t upset about it, but I still felt disappointed for him.
