Learn and use the Man-Rules when it comes to showers

That’s kind of an American hang up. Nude=potential sex, somehow.

I thought you were going to bitch about how we girls overtook your manly shower in the master bath.

When I wrestled in high school, one of our seniors won the state championship (he later went on to wrestle at Harvard.) Supposedly after he won, a bunch of freshmen had to wash different parts of him in the shower. One guy had to wash his cock, the other his ass, etc. I only heard about this, I did not actually witness it. I was a freshman at the time and apparently spared from this.

You know, this just makes me angry. How much do we spend on Defense and we can’t even afford enough showers? Body armor be damned.

I don’t understand. Excepting POW torture scenarios, hippie nudist colonies and those people in National Geographic, are you saying there is another kind of interaction available when two or more people are simultaneously naked? Because Man Code (nay – manly genetics) clearly dictates that anything more than an accidental glance at a human’s naked form is an explicit statement of intention to have sex with that person.

In this case, the proper response is “Dude, I will piss on your leg”.

If he looks a little shocked, then you can reply with “I was mid-stream, man”.

That should defuse the situation.

Um. That’s pretty gay, dude.

I just came in to say - word! Bought some specially (all the way from Canada I think) thinking medicated powder would be ideal for helping to heal said chafed areas. All I can say is no, no it doesn’t. And ‘Ow!’

BTW, anyone in the UK want a nearly full bottle of Gold Bond…?

Are you nuts, or do you just like being the guy that talks when urinating?

If you’re that guy, I respectfully submit that you might find the ladies’ room more to your liking.

It’s also an explicit safety violation, in more than one sense.

Never draw attention to your junk during a fistfight.

Sailboat

I think Smeghead was just saying that men don’t talk about the Man Rules. Kinda like the whole Fight Club thing.

Of course, that means I’ve broken one of the unspoken Man Rules, and now vengeance will be visited upon me. Possibly by break-dancing, close-showering ninjas.

I might skip the Y today.

Duh. It was wrestling…

Hey, we don’t want him - he might pee on something. Or leave the seats up.

Just caught this … the gym I used to frequent had a small sauna, with room for about eight guys total. It was rarely used, but occasionally I’d go in and two other guys would already be there. Not always the same two guys, but it was always two. I dunno why.

I learned most of what I know about boar hunting during those times, while I stared intently at the wood grain of the bench right next to me.

When I read about a guy breakdancing after working out, I instantly thought of this. By any chance, was that the guy in the shower next to you?

(Link completely safe for work despite the weirdness of it all.)

I had to look at it out of the corner of my eye to be sure, but no.

Sorry, Sauron, but you gave the other guy conflicting signals. You were using Old Spice Red Zone Deep Cleansing Body Wash with MicroBeads™, which is considered a borderline product on the Manly scale. Real men use Lava soap. Washcloths are not permitted but you can use a pumice stone or an SOS pad. Next are any unscented soaps of the Dial or Lifebuoy variety. Then are the scented versions of those soaps, moving towards Zest (the name sounds like it belongs in chorus line) and Irish Spring (any product that says, “Manly, yes…” “…but I like it too” is admitting to confusion about its gender). Then comes any body wash associated with the soap manufacturers. Technically it is soap but it is a “soft” soap. Next is a body wash made by a cologne manufacturer (your choice). This is followed by any soap like Carress, Camay or Oil of Olay. Finally are the little hand soaps shaped like sea shells and flowers or any soap that makes you smell like you are washing with a bouquet of daffodils.

Your choice of cleansing material sends the message of, “I’m going to get naked and cover myself with a thick liquid. The name of the product might sound tough but it is made by a company that proudly tells us how easily it will help me attract a sexual partner.”

Next time you are there, use a belt sander to send the right message.

By the way, I hope you didn’t confuse the man any further by singing Village People songs.

Just want to throw out another possible response that came up in a conversation with a couple of exteammates last night.

You should have turned to the guy showering next to you and suggested that if he really loved the Earth you guys would share a showerhead. Which should make him uncomfortable enough to leave there by giving you the win?

Point of order, Slypork: It’s difficult to keep bars of soap in a gym bag without the soap suds lunging out all over the place and getting everything all goopy. The body-wash stuff is a happy compromise, in my mind. And I NEVER use the daffodil-smelling stuff at the gym … only at home, when I want to feel special and pretty.

Oredigger77: But what if the guy had agreed? Then I’m between a rock and hard place.

Maybe not a place, but a hard something, anyway.