Sorry, I don’t buy your excuse. I use something like this to carry my soap. A real man is never afraid of dropping the soap in the shower because his hands are rough and calloused, capable of making a one handed grab of a football so he can score the winning touchdown. If you are still concerned about sending the wrong message, drill a hole through the soap and put some twine through it. This is distinctly different from “soap on a rope” because:
it demonstrates your inherent manly ingenuity to solve a potential problem
it exhibits your proficiency with hand tools, another hallmark of a true heterosexual man and,
it shows your toughness because you are willing to put up with the abrasiveness of twine versus the smoothness of nylon rope.
I, of course, am a real man and don’t have to resort to these methods.
Well only if the walls of your shower are made out of rock.
But thems the chances you take when you play gay chicken.
By the way, I don’t want any one relating this to me playing smear the queer when I was a kid. These are just games I played; I seriously just don’t care about a person’s sexuality.
You young whippersnappers have it so easy. When I was in basic we had one bathroom for an entire barracks. The urinal was a single, long, low trough. The toilets were in a row with no partitions. The shower was an alcove in the corner. There were always a bunch of guys hanging out in the “latrine” doing nothing but talking (I think).
But we survived, and became the nation’s fearsome fighting men!
I was referring to what to do when I go to the gym. Not a “health club” or “fitness club”. Real men don’t work out in any place that also does cardio or spin classes. Aerobics, yoga and pilates are tolerable but only if the man can watch the women performing the exercises while he is working with the free weights. No real man participates in those kinds of activities, either. Any male that does so must immediately sign up for a vocal coach so he can learn showtunes and Judy Garland’s greatest hits.
Showers at home involve water so hot that the dirt is actually steam blasted off of your skin, followed immediately by switching to freezing cold water that puts a layer of frost across your scalded flesh. If there is no hot water because a woman used it all up (:rolleyes: typical female), a real man can take cold showers without complaint, except to bitch to the woman that she used up all the f’ing hot water again. The other option is to just skip the shower completely. Do not attempt to mask your natural musk with cologne, though. Women are attracted to the pheromones a real man produces during a hard day’s work.
And, of course, real men go camping and hunting and think nothing of either washing in a freezing mountain stream or of not bathing at all for however many days/weeks/months that they are out in the wilderness. Any bathing, though, must be solitary or at least 30 feet away from each other (this only applies in grizzly territory). Pissing in the water so you get the downstream guy is not permitted and will immediately result in your getting your ass kicked (as soon as all parties are dressed, of course).
And if anyone so much as mentions Brokeback Mountain, even in a disparaging way, they will be beaten to a bloody pulp, tied to a tree and left for dead. No questions asked.
In the Navy boot camp went kind of like that. The set-up of shower heads was a little different, and we had 80some guys to get through, but the game was still the same. It didn’t take so long for people to break down their inhibitions tho. I mean, we didn’t have any Slip n’ Slides going on like in high school or anything, but we did get pretty relaxed. Pump 'n Dump time was a highlight of the day; only time you could get away from the RDCs (drill instructors) and be chatty. Hell, some of the best buddies I had in boot camp I met carrying on a conversation with each other in neighboring shitters.
The Army does skimp on living accommodations, and it seems a bit rough and dehumanizing at times especially for young, new, single soldiers, although it’s gradually getting better.
But in defense of Basic Training conditions it actually makes sense. You’re got 30+ guys from all different backgrounds and you need to quickly break down their inhibitions and get them to work quickly and efficiently as a team. Keep in mind too, part of the reason we had to shower so fast is because that shower room had to be scrubbed clean and polished all dry & shiny before we left the barracks for breakfast and it’s a lot easier to cycle 30 guys through a small shower room and clean it than to clean a large 30-shower head shower room to inspection standards.
Ooh, perfect tactic! Lather up your face, then start screaming “Ahhh! My eyes, it burns!” Then run screaming from the shower stalls to the sinks, and finish rinsing using tons of paper towels at the sink while chanting “Next time, baby shampoo” over and over again to yourself.
I think you guys have it easy. Similar, but more complicated problems occur in the women’s shower. Such as, there I am showering away, keeping my eyes front and center, no peeking or sly glances at the equipment on display. Then I turn around to rinse off my back and across from me is a taller woman “looking” me right in the eye. So I demurely look down only to be confronted by another anatomical display. I tell you there’s no safe place to look in the women’s shower. :eek:
Well yeah. There’s basically just hangin’ out, being dudes & stuff.
Hm. I’m pretty sure you’re kidding, as this is a humorous thread. You are kidding, aren’t you? Seeing someone and looking at them is different then leering at them - which is a loaded behavior even fully clothed.
I would like to add that for bar soap Grandpas Pine Tar Soap is acceptable. It is black and smells of bonfire. If you need a liquid smelly soap Dr Bronner’s Peppermint is fine.
Looking straight up is not a bad choice.
