All of these strike me as being quite efficient methods of breaking off a relationship.
unlike most of the others on this thread.
Drink 'til you’re blotto, Otto.
Just dither about, Scout.
Sleep with her mom, Tom.
Call him collect from Helsinki, Christine*
*I know it doesn’t rhyme but it was 22 years ago and I’m still bitter.
Race the tortoise to the door like Achilles, Willie.
Be carried away by continental drift, Cliff.
Just wait for her to die, Bill Nye.
Buy an ad at the superbowl, Noel.
Send it on a PDP-10, Ken.
Use a steamroller, Nicola.
[Tumbleweed]
Drive the Kennedy out of Chicago between five and seven, Kevin.
Just stick around and wait for her to die, Sly.
Position yourself closer to her, Casimir.*
*this could have the opposite effect if done the wrong way.
Deploy a solar sail, Gail.
One step forward two steps back, Jack.
Drive a car made out of jelly, Kelly.
Pass the message to goldfish, Hamish.
Seek a royal decree, Dee.
Take it to the U.N., Den.
Wait for Saudi democracy, Vee.
Do it on Groundhog Day, Ray.
Say it with a kazoo, Pru.
Enunciate in klingon, Waylon.
Write in infra-red, Ned.
Penned in hieroglyphs, Cliff.
In the belly of a frog, Rob.
Underneath a rotting log, Bob.
Show her the Prenup,Millsup
Give her the clap, Jack
wear her Bra, Omar
Eat her sister, mister
Blow his brother, Heather
Drive her to Chappaquiddick, Rick.
Cut a hole in the wall, Paul.
Invent and then use a time machine, Gene.
Fake your own death, Seth.
Travel to Central Asia, become a radicalized Muslim and join the fight to found a fundamentalist theocracy by joining the Taliban, Stan.
poop in the bed, Ted